Something funny happened during my 28 day vacation from this blog. I think I found something that I haven’t had in a long time. As a matter of fact, I do no think it is something that I have ever mentioned on this blog in the 2 years that I have been writing. While, I am not entirely sure that I have been searching for this and I hardly think I have even mentioned that is was what I was looking for… I think I found a way to be happy.
Before the realization of this sets it, there has always been a certain understanding that I have had with the universe and that was that my life would continually be difficult. I have felt on numerous occasions that my luck has run out, that I reached the threshold of things to pray for. But then, things just seemed to click. It was as if I woke up one day and the world around me was moving just a little bit slower and I was still going at the same speed.
This is not to say that I am not plagued with the same everyday issues that I had just 28 days ago, I am just more in tuned with myself. I see things differently when it come to the goals I have placed for myself. There is no more “ifs” in my world there is only “when”. For far too long I have been living in a world where I talk about if things will happen. They either will or will not. I will either make things happen or I don’t. It is really that simple.
I have also taken the time to smell the roses. Stressing about things is not going to make my life better. Thankfully, I have never been one to panic in any given situation, but I have been known to over analyze. During this 28 day stretch, I have not over analyzed a thing. I have let things come to me. I have also trimmed the things and the people who have been a distraction to my goals. Unfortunately, I have also been very quiet with family and friends which has led to false impressions on my intentions and for that I sincerely apologize. I believe everyone needs a break from their lives and from themselves.
I have kept to myself for the same reason that I stopped writing on this blog, I wanted to stop talking about things…and actually do the things I said I would do. I do love the people in my life who have been there for me. I am not snubbing them or disregarding them in any fashion. I just needed to time to get my head straight. I need time to see the me for the individual that I am. How can I expect anyone to love me if I am not willing to see myself for who I am? How can I expect a bunch of strangers hire me if I cannot show them how dynamic I can be? How can I expect to gain and retain the respect of people I work with if I cannot consistently be creative and innovative?
28 days later… I realize that living in the moment is more important than living for the moment.
My silence is now broken.