latinegro

The Future

I need to use this blog as a sounding board. I know that I have talked about what my future career goals in the past and I have always said that I wanted to get a Master’s degree. When thinking about this in the past I have though about what made sense.

I first thought, years ago, that the best route for me was a Master’s in Business Administration. At the time it made sense. I wanted to pave the way for me being a VP of some college and I felt that this route would round me out as a professional. I would be able to understand the world from a business sense. I went so far as to take a graduate level Economics course. Through this class, I realized once again how much I hate the corporate world and math. It was a hard class that I took with my busy work schedule and I still passed with a hard earned B+.

I knew this was something that I did not want to do. So I had to rethink my strategy and think about what it is I really want to do. That is when I started thinking about Higher Education. I know from experience that this particular field does not have many people of color. I am one of few Latinos in any capacity in administration at Syracuse University.

There is a particular area of study that SU has that is very similar to Higher Education called Cultural Foundations of Education. I find this area to be very enlightening. I loved the two course that I took so much that I was able to get A’s in both. I opened myself to a new world in which lead me to create this blog in the first place. However, I felt like there was something was missing. I knew that there was this feeling growing inside of me that makes me not want to stay here, particular after the break up of my marriage.

I knew then, as I know now, that I am done with the Syracuse point of view on things. I know that I need to move on to other places in order to truly be rounded out. So, I have been on this job search for more than a year without any real bites. To be honest, most places are looking for a Master’s degree and I not willing to stay here and pursue that. So that leaves me with finding a job and then go to grad school part time or just cash in all my chips and go back to school full time.

During my job search, I came across a small school in Bronxville, NY called Sarah Lawrence. I have had a few people tell me how awesome this school is because they have Master’s courses in Writing. I applied for a job that I did not hear back from and I just kept this school in the back of my mind…until about 3 weeks ago when I was walking through a graduate school fair that I was working. A lady from Sarah Lawrence College was there and we started talking.

She talked about how great the school was and how I really need to think about attending an open house to see the campus. I filled out a card and took some paperwork on the school. I read it when I got home and really started to ponder if this was something that not only could I do, but is this what I really wanted. I have to admit I feel that my writing is missing something that I cannot quite put my finger on. Maybe, I needed formal training from people who have done what I aspire to do.

I put this thought on the back burner because I had a LBC Challenge to write, I had Homecoming at SU to work, and I had a speech to give. Friday, I finally get the official Sarah Lawrence packet in the mail. I opened it with such excitement. There was a letter addressed to me and all this information on how to apply. More importantly, the open house is November 11th. Ugh, it is a Thursday, which is going to be an issue. So I put it down because I figured that I will just get back to it eventually.

This weekend was when all thoughts came into my head that I just need to write down because I do not want to forget this. A Masters in Writing could mean that I can still be in Higher Education. I could teach a writing courses, perhaps at another university or college! I had even thought about how I could teach Blog Writing and have classes just on how to communicate one’s feelings and put them on a blank slate. Perhaps I could teach a course on Cultural Writing on how one can express culture through writing…

I thought about this and I had to just stop and look around. What if this is what I was meant to do? What if this what I have been looking for? It just feels so right to me. I would still do the public speaking thing, the blog writing, the poetry, and the short stories, but to totally submerge myself into writing and help students realize that this is something that they could do is just priceless.

I just need to apply. Now.

my life

On the Cusp

Someone told me that they can imagine me not writing another blog for awhile since the LBC Challenge. I have to admit she was right in the sense that I needed to take some days off from writing. Now that those days are now behind me, I have to just write some reflections.

First let me say that nothing makes a month go by slower than to count each day. When I was writing each entry of the LBC Challenge, I felt like each day was going by slower than the last. I loved writing like that every day, it showed me that I can layout subjects in advance, no matter how difficult, and still accomplish the task at hand. I really wish I had this type of motivation in college.

I really enjoyed my time in Utica, even though it was only for a few hours. I am so glad I had decided to write that speech instead of just “winging it”. The speech was supposed to for twenty minutes and I will be completely surprised if I was up there for that long. I didn’t want to drag and be boring to a bunch of college kids that ultimately just want to eat and dance.

I am glad that I injected some humor into it. The audience laughed when they needed to, which is always a good sign that they are following what is being said. I started to feel that while, I wrote this speech before hand, I was more talking to them rather than talking at them. The feeling is so very empowering when you begin to realize that people are really listening to something that you created.

Which brings me to my poetry. There was a reason why I added a poem to the ending of my speech. I wanted to see if I could do it. If i can read my poem in the way in was intended to be heard. I wanted to absolutely be sure that if I go down this road of public speaking, I need to be confident in all facets of my writing. Once I was done, a wave of confidence came over me as I walked back to my seat. I knew then that I could go on the road with my own creations and spit them out, because after all, they are my poems and I cannot worry if people will think they are good or not.

I think about the type of month that I have had up to this point. Several things have happened that has challenged me, my thought process, and my faith. First, my mother sent me a letter with a prayer card and a religious medal. I thought about how crazy it was to get it especially before my blog post on religion. No, she didn’t not know about my blog or anything I write, so I was just taken back by this. I wont even mention the amount of dreams I have had during this past month that has made me think about the journey that I am currently on.

Then there is the fact that I feel that I have been hustling so much to get extra money to get myself in a good position to make the move I want to make. However, every time I get to that place where I feel so very comfortable…something breaks. The furnace broke in the beginning of the month and the refrigerator broke last week. These are the things that frustrate me because it does not help in my goal to get ahead. However, I am getting a third roommate. So this will indeed help my cause. (yes, I got both things fixed)

I haven’t even mentioned that I still wrote this challenge during the busiest time of my life with SU Homecoming being so busy. In fact, I had been working since 8:30am the day of the speech. I had to run home after a reception at 4:30pm, take the quickest shower of my life, shave, iron my shirt, get dressed, leave the house, get gas, and then get cash before I can finally hit the road. The event was at 7pm. I was on the road by 5:45pm and the drive was an hour. Talk about cutting it close…lol

I am motivated. I am really getting tired of being here. I need to break out. I actually took the time to talk to someone from Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, NY. They were up here for a graduate school fair last month. I am thinking about a Masters Degree in Writing. I have also had an offer from a good friend to be my agent so he can help me get more speaking gigs. I just need a head shot and write a Bio.

I am on the cusp of living my dream. I just need to get there.

Latino Heritage Month, speech, Utica

Utica Speech: Small Impacts

(My Utica speech from earlier tonight)

Wow! Thank you so much. I have to admit I am a little nervous right now. This is the first time I am really speaking in front of a crowd like this and getting paid for it! I want to that Anthony De La Rosa for contacting me and making this happen. I would also like to thank the Latin American Student Union for bringing me here.

What I want to talk about tonight, is small and meaningful impacts that we make in life and particularly when it comes to Latino Heritage Month.

First I want to say that I met Anthony last May during a event at Syracuse University. You see, I fill many roles over at SU, but my main role an event planner, so anything major that happens within the student center, chances are that either I know about it or I have had a part in planning it. I also serve as an adviser for two Latino student organizations. One is called La LUCHA, which is an undergraduate organization (much like the Latin Student Union) that tries to empower and educate student on issues involving the Latino community. The other organization is Lambda Sigma Upsilon Latino Fraternity Incorporated.

Anthony is a member of LSU and we met at a fashion show/concert (featuring Fabolous) that was co-sponsored by them and another student organization. One of my former students that I am very close with named Melissa (we call her Meli), introduced me to him at this event. At the time, the whole immigration in Arizona issue regarding senate bill 1070 was just beginning to bubble over and I felt that I really wanted to do something that would make a small but meaningful impact.

Which brings me to what I do when I am not working. I am a blogger/poet/activist. I do not claim to be an expert in either of these three and I use them sparingly. I created the current incarnation of my blog in 2009 called, Inside My Head, as a way to release my creative energies. Any writer will tell you that they feel lost if they do not write and there was a period in my life where writing became non existent.

During my thought process of what the blog could possibly be about, I thought about some of the masters courses that I took at SU that had an impact on me. These course focused on the modern education system and how people of color operated within a system that included institutional racism, segregation, and socio economic issues. So in taking these course I ran into an area of study that I really wanted to focus on and that was Afro Latinos. I found this to be a subject very hard to research because there are simply not many people who write about it. In fact, I think I can count one one hand the amount of people that have published educational literature on Afro Latinos.

So I started thinking that if I wanted to make my impact on the world, it needs to it start here. I chose a suitable name that I came across while researching a paper. Latinegro, one word. Not to be confused with Latin-Negro. I am not sure about the rest of you, but when it comes to choosing a screen name, I want it to be unique. I don’t want to have some ambiguous name with numbers at the end of it and may or may not signify something. I don’t want to be called something like blacktino_2010.

Anyway, my blog is about me, of course, and the experiences I have encountered in my life. I very much aspire to be a novelist and I am actually working on one currently. More importantly, I wanted people to be aware of the plight of the afro-latino in this world. We are not just baseball players. I am certainly no Robinson Canoe nor am I Jose Reyes. I wanted to make an impact with my words. I want to educate people that latinos come in different shades despite that fact that we are invisible in place like Univison.

Getting back to how I met Anthony. I wanted to take a picture of Me and Meli with a sign that said. “Do I look Illegal?” I had seen other people on Facebook and Twitter do this. I wasn’t trying to start a revolution, I just wanted to make a small statement, to make a small impact on how people saw the immigration issue. Just because Mexicans in Arizona were going through this did not mean it did not effect Puerto Ricans or Dominicans in New York. I was going to post this on my blog and talk about Racism and Latinos. Previously, I wrote a letter to Arizona on my blog protesting this whole ridiculousness. So what ends up happening is that Meli Anthony and another LSU member Josh all get in front of a camera and we take several pictures. I thought is was great. I was going to post it and be all proud of myself. Needless to say, I am still waiting for those pictures. (Josh? -_-) However, I did take one of myself that I ultimately posted.

But, something happened after that. Josh went back to his campus at Morrisville. Anthony went back to this campus and on facebook about a week later…I start seeing all these videos and of people from these different campuses taking these photos! It turned out the Josh and Anthony decided to do something about it! I was in awe because I could not even get my own students to do this! I could not beleive I made an impact with two people that I did not know very well. (but we are facebook friends and I follow them on twitter too..)

That was my point. I made a small impact that turned out to be something bigger than me. Now, again, I am not going to sit here and take credit for the whole idea that is not mine. I am just glad I made people think because after I saw what they did…I posted their video on my facebook and on my tumblr…just to get exposure. Guess what happened? Other people within my scope of facebook friends were posting these types of pics on their profile. Impact. This is the type of impact we need to make for Latino Heritage Month every year. Most people may not notice it all that much but it does make a difference to those who do notice.

This year I made my impact when I sent out a challenge to all bloggers on September 14th. A Latino Blog Challenge. 30 Days. 30 Topics. To celebrate Latino Heritage Month…and yes I do say Latino Heritage Month not Hispanic Heritage Month. We do not live in Spain. We are Latinos in America.

Once again I am trying to make a small impact just on my readers and it turns into this thing where 5-6 fellow bloggers joined in on this challenge. Some of which I never met or know until now. They took my challenge and during the height of it, were posting right along side of me. So anyone can read what each one of us had to say about each given topic.For the sake of time I will not list all 30 topics but here were some that made things very interesting.

Day 1 – What I love most about being Latino
Day 3 – Favorite Spanish food (which is Maduros…are they on tonight’s menu?)
Day 6 – A Poem (original or quoted)
Day 8 – Latino Racism
Day 12 – Do I speak Spanish? (uhh…no)
Day 13 – Afro Latinos you see everyday
Day 16 – What I know about indigenous cultures (i.e.Tainos)
Day 20 – Latino Stereotypes I wish I could change
Day 23 – Hispanic or Latino..What do you prefer?
Day 24 – Should Puerto Rico be a State?

Now, those were the top ten that I enjoyed writing the most. The funny thing is that at the end of the 30 Day Latino Blog Challenge, I learned that Latino Heritage month was indeed 31 days. (whomp whomp). What still gets to me the most, is that I feel Latino Heritage Month received attention outside of academia. While not everyone finished…I think that attempt was made which satisfied me and ultimately justified my reasoning for creating this blog challenge to begin with, but let’s face it, It is REALLY hard to write for 30 days straight.

So, What does this mean to you? Very simple. Be sure to set your goals in life on what you want to do. Being Latino is simply not good enough. When you try to make an a small meaningful impact in whatever you are passionate about…you will witness how that impact becomes like a snow ball rolled from on top of a mountain that gets larger with momentum as it reaches its ultimate point of impact.

I would like to leave you all tonight with a poem that I wrote on Day 6. I call it:
Negro Mestizo

Yo soy Latino
related to Taino
bred from parents
whose blood line
runs deep
of ancestry
Negro Mestizo
Inca. African. Spanish. Taino.
a combination
of cultures
ingrained in history
a conglomeration
of pride
a beacon into the past
rolled into a man.

A representative
A superlative
without explanation
cultura optimo
taking the best
parts of four
dividing it by two
and passing it down
Afro Latino
Negro Mestizo
Latin Negro
a product of my people
with all parts equal

My Name is Anthony Otero…latinegro you can find me on twitter and on blogspot. Thank you!

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 30 – What I learned in the last 30 days

I am very excited that the challenge is over and I made it. I know that I wasn’t always on time, but I was able to get all 30 days done. I did not think that it would be as hard as it turned out to be. When I came up with the topics it was all from the top of my head. I really thought it would be cool to write everyday about the topics that had to with Latino culture.

What ended it up happening was each topic became harder than the last. I was good until about day 13 and then I hit a wall. I do not see many Afro Latinos every day and that bothered me. I also had to re word some of that blog post because I realized that I was making it seem that I was the only Afro Latino in Syracuse and that wasn’t what I was trying to convey.

Since that day, this challenge began to get harder to write with the different topics. When I first started this blog I thought to myself that there was no way that I would be able to write about being Latino everyday. This challenged proved me wrong. There are topics that I touched upon that I am sure I could have created a whole other blog post from. I also learned that I need to do more research on Ecuador.

I also realized two things halfway through this process. The first was that I should have considered Columbus Day as a post. I would have loved to go in on that subject. While I did touch upon it during day 16, I should have aligned my posts with the actually days of the month. Which brings me to the second thing I realized…there are 31 days in this month! I had to shake my head when I realized that, but I think a 31 day blog challenge just does not sound as sexy…lol

Well during this time..I was asked to speak at Utica College this Saturday 10/6. I am very honored to be doing this and I plan on talking about this very challenge. I am still in the middle of writing it and I plan on posting what I say as a blog post this weekend. I am hoping to also get this speech recorded, so I can do a podcast if I can.

I want to thank all those who contributed to this challenge and all those who followed me through this. I did receive a lot of compliments and words of encouragement. I am not sure if I will do this again, but I am grateful for the experience…

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 29 – Latino Politics: What affects you?

One thing I do not like to get into is politics. The best candidate does not always win and the worst candidate does not always lose. What really gets me about what we consider to be democracy is that the issues that have the most lobbyists are the ones that seems to be handled better. One would think that in this day and age that a law such as SB 1070 in Arizona would never be passed, but because of the federal government’s lack of policy on immigration, we are stuck in a situation of mistrust and racial profiling in one of the states of the union.

Unfortunately, there are so many issues to deal with that is hard to focus on any one thing outside of immigration. Many Latinos have become successful enough that they may not see the same issues as the rest of do. However, there was a point in the past where Latinos were very much into political movements within this country.

When I spoke about the Latino Identity over the last few weeks, I purposely neglected to mention that the term Latino is also a political identity that many sub origins identify with. Chicanos may be used more by those Mexican Americans who refuse to be racialized by the vast majority. They deal with many issues of assimilation and immigration. Militant Puerto Ricans choose to use their origin as a political identity when dealing with issues of colonization of Puerto Rico by the United States. Political organizations like the Young Lords popped up in New York City in the late 1960’s during same time as the Black Power movement.

It is shame that no one seems to be shutting down college campus anymore because these issues are just as important now as they ever were. I will just talk about Syracuse and how this community cannot seem to come together over basic issues such as education, healthcare, and unemployment.

I remember being in a meeting that was called by the Spanish Action League (La Liga) that had members of Governor Patterson’s administration to talk about what they can do to help Latinos in Syracuse. This was when he first came into power and needed support to get some legislation across. What I witnessed we various Latino leaders all at the same table talk about issues that each sector had. Education was an issue because there were not enough ESL classes for adults and children seem to be forced to be the caretakers at times thus sparking minimal school attendance. Healthcare was an issue because Spanish speaking families did not want to go to hospitals that did not have translators (La Liga does train and provide them) or doctors that spoke Spanish. Employment was an issue because there is not enough work to go around and most Latinos that move here from other countries cannot see to correctly adjust the different ways of job searching.

I am sitting there listening to this and I asked all of them bluntly…”Why do you not all realize that all these issues are connected? You are all fighting for a piece of a pie and not helping each other because you all feel that your one issue is more important than the rest. If we could get more funding to educate people then they will be able to get a job with benefits that will then allow them to have healthcare. The problem is cyclical”

You know what I got when I said this? A blank stare. This is why I do not do politics and why people are not ready for me.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 28 – Family Ancestry

One of the things that had sparked this whole idea of this challenge has been thought of me looking into my family tree. During one of my trips to NYC, my aunt had brought this idea that perhaps I should look into our ancestry and see what I find. I think we all reach a certain point in our lives in which we should stop and look at where we are in this world.

Mi tia, from my dad’s side, had informed me that there are several family members who live in NYC and in Puerto Rico I have never met before. These would be family members related to my late abuela. She rolled out names that I have never heard before and yet she hasn’t heard from these same family members in years. Then she pulled out an old picture of a man that kind of looked like me. It turns out to be my great grandfather.

When comparing the picture of my dad and my great grandfather, I could not help but look at the resemblance and just be in awe. This grandfather was from the paternal side of the family, which I even know less about. I came to the conclusion that at some point soon I need to start this quest to learn about my own personal past. I can spew out knowledge about different countries and talk about Tainos, but I have no clue about where my family has been. This quest is becoming more important to me since I am really not sure I will ever have kids of my own.

My mother’s side of the family has already started a tree of sorts. I did happen to glance at it during the holiday season last year. Many of my aunts tell stories of my grandparents and their lives in Brooklyn from a long time ago along the family they came with. However, there is no official record that I can see that ties all this together. So, I can only imagine the type of road map to the past I can create with all the people in my past that connect.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 27 – Favorite Latino Author

I dedicate this blog to the only Pulitzer Prize winner I have ever met, Juno Diaz. I have written a blog about him before and what still amazes me about him is that he has left a mark on me as a writer. I was not fortunate enough to take his class when he did teach at Syracuse University and I feel that if perhaps that had happened, I would have made a literary connection then sooner.

He has written two novels, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao and Drown. Both books are absolutely fabulous in imagery and how he was able to take life of Latinos and put it on paper. His words are flawless and I read them as if he and I were having a conversation. What I like is that he started off as a short story writer and then moved on to novels.

Juno Diaz won the Pulitzer Prize for his second novel, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. It is because of this book that we brought him to Syracuse University in 2008. It was a really big thing because here we are trying to bringing up someone big for Latino Heritage Month and because he taught here, he was willing to come and speak with very few problems.

He spoke in front of a packed house in the new Newhouse 3 building. In fact, he was insistent that he did not speak, he wanted to have a discussion on the book. Juno read 2 passages from the book and he had me floored. The fact that one of his passages was describing a sexual act within the book in front of an audience filled with students and faculty, and he read it it like it was Shakespeare, showed me that I should no longer care what people think about me and what I write. It was indeed a magical moment for me.

Juno Diaz has set the bar for me; he is where I want to be. He will be my inspiration to take my talent to the next level while keeping it real. Having dinner with that man proved to me that success can continue to keep a person humble. Juno talks like he writes which makes his literary work so masterful.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 26 – Favorite Latino Actor or Actress

I am not sure why I had trouble with this topic. Maybe because I did not want to speak about people I have already spoken about. I picked Eva Mendes because I feel that she is becoming a bigger name in Hollywood. I think that her body of work is indicative of where she going within the movie industry.

Yes, she is gorgeous and that gives her an edge in a society that is very much sex craved. Most of the industry is always looking for that Latina with sex appeal and she certainly has that. However, what I have come to really like about Eva Mendes is that she has personality. I appreciate that she can be sexy and goofy at the same time. She seems to have great comedic timing.

She started her film career in 1998, but I did not notice her until 2001 with her role in Training Day, which was a great movie that landed Denzel Washington his Oscar Award. However, her starring role in the movie Hitch, opposite Will smith, is what really brought her to the forefront. This Florida born, Cuban actress, also appeared in movies like Ghost Rider and The Spirit.

I think that she is on the short list of Latina actresses that have made an impact, but have not really landed that one big role that defines them. I am hoping that she will be the one to do this.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 25 – Post a Picture of Familia

First, I need to say that it took me longer than I want to find a picture with anyone within my family. I spend a lot of time speaking about my dad on this blog and on Twitter, but I never speak much about my brother nor my nephew. This picture was taken in May of 2007 at my nephew’s first communion. I will first say that you will have trouble finding a better picture of three good looking males this side of the Bronx!

My brother currently lives in the Bronx with his son and wife. I go visit them as often as I can when I am in New York City. As a matter of fact, last time I was down there was for my nephew’s birthday in July. We went to Six Flags: Great Adventure and we had a blast. This is the other part of the family that I seems to not talk about so much on this blog. There was a time I was going to dedicate an entry to my brother, but it just never came to fruition.

The significance of this picture is that there are many differences between my brother and I and I feel that my nephew (and godson) is the one thing that brings us together. Do not get me wrong, I do not have a bad relationship with mi hermano, we just look at life differently. He is seven years older than me and while I always looked up to him, there as always a sense that he was too old for me to really connect with him in my youth.

My nephew is currently 10 years old and I remember how small he was when I saw him for the first time. He has gotten so big that is takes me by surprise every time I see him. He is definitely one of the biggest reasons for me to return to NYC. I miss him very much and I am not willing to miss out on him growing up anymore. This picture serves as a reminder that I still have work to do.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 24 – Should Puerto Rico Be A State?

This is a debate that I am on the fence about. There are so many ways to look at this issue. Puerto Rico and statehood is something that I am not sure I will see in my lifetime but the question is why not? This idea that Puerto Rico should a state, or remain a commonwealth, or be independent can create a long debate amongst Puerto Ricans both native and American born.

I think that people focus on the fact that taxes will have to be paid by residents of the island,which is considered bad thing to many people since that is something they may not want to do. Of course this may mean that the standard of living cost will rise as well. The interest rate for the United States is much higher then that of Puerto Rico and somehow that gap will become a big problem. So economics play a great role in this debate.

However, I think the fact that Statehood would allow Puerto Rico representation within Congress and the Senate is a bigger deal to me. While someone currently sits in Congress as the Resident Commissioner, that person has no vote. Sure, this elected official can serve on committees and do the things that other members of the House or Representatives can do, this person cannot cast a ballot for any issues that may effect Puerto Rico. Being a state would afford Puerto Rico with the same rights and leverage as any other state within the union.

On the other hand, the big issue of English being the official language of the United States can be a deal breaker. The United States has no official language and many politicians are looking to change that. If that does happen and Puerto Rico gained statehood, they would have to abide by this. Clearly this is an issue to many people who are native to the island. Of course, we can argue semantics and say that the commonwealth status allows for so much tourism into Puerto Rico from the US that most places do speak English.

Currently, Puerto Rico has the best of both worlds. They can have an international team in any sport during world play. They can have their own entrance into the Miss Universe Pageant (which is a big deal). Those two things alone help with the sense of pride for island residents. The best part for them is that they get the benefits of being a US citizen without having to pay taxes.

There has been a call for Puerto Rico Independence over the years because if you think about it, they have been under some kind of rule since the time of Columbus (whether it is Spain or the US). This is something that I am not so sure about. While I completely understand the point of letting Puerto Rico be free in this world, I would hate it if it became a poor island that was run by corrupt politicians.

My view on this is that commonwealth status may be best for all parties involved. But, what do I know, I do not live there. Perhaps if I did, I could come up different perspective. Hmm…that is not a bad idea either.