The Final Word on Fate?

I have a friend that will always say to me “Jesus take the wheel”. This is a general expression that she says to express that we are no longer in the driver seat in certain situations. Control becomes absolutely pointless in the face of adversity and stress (i.e. drama). We are not in control of many of things that happen in our lives. We are not in control of our future. We are not in control of thoughts of other people and (I will just throw this in for good measure) we are not in control of the system of oppression that society has on us.

This where fate comes in. I will easily preach that everything happens for a reason and everyone has a role to play in our lives. The issue becomes we do not know the grand scheme of things. So for what we do not know is left up to chance or in better terms, it is left to fate.

How did I come with this? Yes, I know that several times this year, I have stated that I do not believe in fate. That everything is about choice and our choices lead to the doors of opportunity to be open so that we can make decisions on our lives. But, more and more, in the back of my head i was hearing this question of, “what about the things we cannot control”.

Let me be honest here. I was a big believer in fate a long time ago. But due to how messed up things have become over the past several years, I began to think differently. To be even more honest, the idea of fate scares me. I feel that I have lost control of my life a long time ago and not being the one in the driver’s seat is not a comfortable feeling.

It wasn’t until I really started doing my job search that I realized that I need “Jesus to take the wheel”. While I control the things I do and where I apply, I am not in control of the outcome. I thought about this fact last night and I realized that I am going to end up exactly where I need to be in time. It hit me like a brick wall…fate. I am certainly not saying that I will land the perfect job because it was “demanded by the gods” but I will say that perhaps I have to realize I have a destiny.

The problem I truly I have with fate is when it comes to love. Relationships are hard enough as it is. I believe that while we really do not choose who we fall in love with, we do choose what to do with our feelings and that is when things get messy. What I constantly have to remind myself is that anything is possible in life. Perhaps I have to view love and relationships like a job application process. I will put in my resume in for various opportunities and wait for a reply. If I get no response then I need to move on, all in hopes that the right opportunity comes my way.

I think the above metaphor works to an extent because with jobs there is no emotion spent on one application and this because job searching is all based on chance. Sure, you can have a good resume and say all the right things in a cover letter, but one has to stand out. Much of this is not in our control thus the say, if it was meant to be…it will be.

So, is this my final word on fate? I am not sure. I would like to think it is. I may still talk about in general terms. However, I am a Gemini and I fluctuate my thoughts and opinions based on my experiences. Right now, I am just letting go of the wheel and letting fate take control.

Everything Happens For a Reason

As I prepare to run 4 miles today, something I haven’t done in more than a week, I wanted to get this entry out so that I can clear my head. One of the things that I have come to believe in, is the notion that everything happens for a reason. Everyone has their own theories on life, but this one seems to be the one that works for me.

I want to preface everything I say here by stating that as awesome as all this may sound, I have serious trouble following my own advice. Part of having a positive attitude about things requires a sense that you or I believe that down the road, everything will be ok. I do remember having this feeling earlier in my life that no matter what, things will just work out in the end because they just always did. It was this type of thought process that leads many people to think that I was carefree.

The problem becomes dealing with unforeseen issues in our lives. I know for me, the last 3-4 years of my life was just a roller coaster of things that I was just not prepared for. Yet for some reason I always felt that things will work themselves out. All this changed over the last several months. The life that I once knew has been slowly fading away and I am forced to create a new one. I am not so sure that things will always work out.

What I am sure of is that everyone in my life at this moment, serves a purpose. I am able to get motivation from people that I have either met on twitter or people that have been in my life for years. We all have a role to play. I am not talking destiny by any means. Destiny is just another form of thought that some people have on weather we are destined to do or become something. I wont say that I believe that, but I will say that there are things that happen in our lives that lead us in certain directions.

I also want to be clear in saying that I do not believe in Fate either. I think we lead our own lives and we end up where we end up based on the choices we make in life. I do not believe that you cannot just sit around shit will just happen for you. We are granted Free Will so that we can choose what happens to us. I just think that our choices are part of the fabric of life that interconnect with everything else.

I am not sure I would be where I am right now had my parents stayed together. I am not sure where I would be had I not been married. I am not sure where I would be if I didn’t have the friends I have to talk to me about my problems. What I do know is that everything happens for a reason. I may never know those reasons right now but they might be revealed in the future.