Talk About Awkward…

I keep forgetting that not everyone knows about Josie and I splitting up. One of the things about working at Syracuse University is that you meet so many people. Between students, staff, faculty, and guests we may run into, I would say that her and I know many people. So I know that on any given day someone will come up to me and ask “How is the wife?”

It kinda bugs me out in a very amusing way. The only way that people would know is if they read this blog. I have told certain individuals personally and so has Josie. So, I am not exactly sure who knows. Not that it is a big deal. So when the question is asked, I simply tell whomever that she is fine. To be real, I do not want to always talk about it.

I think what will be awkward is when colleagues begin to find out. I can only imagine the questions. The funny thing is that Josie and I can still work together and get things done for the students because we are professional and we know why we are here. I think it will be awkward for everyone else.

The other thing I find awkward, and maybe it is just me, I feel like everyone I know who is single is getting married! It is just weird. I certainly do not want to be the bearer of bad news, particularly for those who are about to get married. It is sort of like when I hear about people I know who die. It makes me think about my own mortality. The same thing holds true for people getting married. No one wants to think about what could happen if things don’t work out.

The good thing is that when you are engaged there is the belief that you will be together forever. Which is good. So the news that they here should not distract them. Which is why I found to heard to tell my brother, since he is getting married next year.

What I have encountered, that is not cool at all, is other people feeling the need to tell my business. I have mixed feelings about this because I know people will talk, but if I tell you that I am getting a divorce and not many people know, wouldn’t that click in your head to not tell anyone? I recognize that if I tell a friend that is married he/she will tell his/her wife. I get that. But that person need to tell his spouse to shut the fuck up!

How annoying is it to tell someone who already knows and that person was not told by her or I? Of course this incident happened before I mentioned my situation on this blog last week. It makes me want to re-evaluate those I call friends.

Friends. How many of us have them?

I think I have spent most of my life trying to figure out the definition of Friendship. As a kid, I always seem to call everyone (who didn’t pick on me), my friends. My father would tell me that true friends are there when you need them. I looked up to my dad so much as a kid because I thought he was one of those cool fathers who could slick back is hair and adjust his mustache and he would always look good. He had this aura about him that seem to attract so many people. At, times I thought her had literally a hundred friends. But, in his wisdom, he would tell me that all those people were not his friends. They were associates that only liked him because he had a good job and he was always willing to help someone.

This was always proven to me when my dad used to get into a jam, only few people would help him get out of it. He would look at me at tell me, “Now those are true friends”. Over there years we seems to have the same friends be there for him over and over to the point that when he retired, they all moved to same place in Deltona,Florida.

Now, if you have ever been to Deltona, you will know that it is a very fast growing community. Located about an hour from both Orlando and Tampa Bay. I call in “the little Bronx” because all the old school Puerto Ricans from the Bronx now seem to reside there. I am amazed about all the people he knows there. Every time I go down for a visit, I get introduced to another old “associate: that he used to run with. The conversations would go something like this…

Papi: Anthony, you remember Felix right? He used to live on Story Avenue by the firehouse
Me: uh….no…
Felix: Hey! Papa, remember me? I remember you when you this small!
Me: uh…no..
Papi: He used to take care you when you were little…Remember Carmen, his wife?
Me: uh…no…
Felix: Yeah man, I ran with your father back in the day on Eagle ave….

Repeat that about a hundred times and you will get my drift. Substitute Felix with Willie, or Oscar,or any Spanish name you can think of. Then substitute Carmen, with Lisa, Olga, or Jackie. When he moved, I thought I would be rid of these people. But I digress…

I am stuck in this notion of friendship because I am not sure I have a definition that suits me. Sure, I have friends. Some that disappoint me, some that I disappoint, some I actually love, and others that I hate to love. There also those that I have spoken to in a long time and when you finally have a conversation it is almost like a single day has not passed. But how does one judge a friend? There is no measure sometimes.

I cannot go by how I treat my friends, because I would drive myself nuts. Bad enough I am a Gemini who gets bored easily, which means that I may seclude myself until something excites me. But, I when I am your friend, then I am your friend for life. I may forget your birthday, but if you need something I am there. There will always be a point when I think about via a memory or a glance at your Facebook status (which, by the way, facebook is like crack sometimes).

So what do I ask in return? I am not that picky actually because I don’t expect much. I just expect my friends to be real. I have come to realize that this one thing is hard for some people to do! If you can’t hang out then that is cool, just say so. But the one thing that yanks my chain, is when people say they will do something and they don’t do it. I am not talking about offering to pay dinner or anything like that. I am just saying that I don’t like flakes in my cereal…lol


{Originally Posted on Blogger}

Changes…That is what I wish to focus on today. Changes. These days everything seems to be changing. The world seems to be darker in so many ways. The Tsunami Disaster is so unreal. It changes the way we think of things. Before this, we all thought that 9/11 was the greatest tragedy that our generation witnessed. This event has changed the way we view the world.

Changes…Even my job is going through changes. It is interesting to see how people react to change. It seems the older one gets the more they hate change. I have a couple of people who don’t want their cheese to be moved. Yet, when change happens, they will be left in the dust. Time will have passed them by. I can tell you my boss is a better person that I am because corporate training tells me to get rid of the resistance to change.

Changes…Even my team, The New York METS are going through huge changes. By signing the this year’s biggest free agent Carlos Beltran. I have not been this excited about this teams since they signed Mike Piazza sooo many years ago. I am even considering going down to NY to see a few games. That would be a BIG changes since I don’t go down there anymore.

Changes…I know that I may have risen a few eyebrows to my comment about Scott Peterson. I don’t think he should die. Think he should rot in Jail for what he did. So If I were the judge, I would sentence to him to life with no possibility of parole. Not only that…He should be assigned to GEN POP in a Maximum Security Prison where he will room with a big black buck named Mr. Zero.

Changes…So I was told today by a good friend that he cant hang out with me and my wife anymore because his wife doesn’t like us. Now there is no love lost there that is for damn sure. I was civil to her because that is my good friend’s wife, but lately she has felt the need to treat my wife like shit. There is only one person who can treat Josie like shit and that is me (kisses hun). So naturally the dumb bitch can rot for all I care. One day he will wake up and kick her lop-sided ass out the house.

New Year….New Shit….Peace out.