Tid Bit Tuesday

Air McNair

I remember when I was in college. There were 2 black quarterbacks that were making serious moves on the football field. One was Donvan McNabb, and the other was Steve “Air” McNair. He was just that good. ESPN could not get enough of showing this kid throwing touchdown passes down the field. You could tell that he was a master of this craft.

I am sadden by his death. 36 years old??? That is just crazy to me. I feel that all these celebrity deaths are turning every blog I read (including this one) into a larger discussion about death and mortality. This is definitely to reflect on our positions in life. I am quite sure things will get better.

R.I.P Steve…

MJ Tribute

Work got in the way. Maybe that is just an excuse. I could be out there right looking at this. I decided to stand back and not do it. I am hoping that CNN replays this. Just looking at all the Twitter updates suggest that this memorial if far better than any thing BET can conjure up. I am just not ready to say good bye yet. I still have so many songs in my head.

I have already started my quest in getting all the songs I need to get to create my ultimate Michael Jackson play list. I noticed that the older the song, the more powerful the song is. I am just still amazed how relevant his songs are in my life. I truly understand when people have said that MJ provided the soundtrack for their lives. I think that he is still providing the soundtrack for mine.

I still maintain that the songs he left for his kids will all be smash hits. They will pay for their education. We will all benefit from hearing him on the radio again. CNN is replaying the trubute at 7pm…


My trip to Florida is almost upon me. I cannot wait to hit the road. People think that I am crazy for driving down there, but I am ok with that. I love to drive so, I will not worry about it. Driving really puts me at ease and it makes me not think about much of anything. I am also an expert at making play lists, so I will have plenty of music to entertain me. If all else fails, then I have satellite radio.

This will be the first time I will have seen my father since May. So, I will get to have great food because the man can cook. I do intend to keep up this blog both on the road and in Florida. Disney is in my future, so I hope I get to have some fun there. I will just say that the plan is for me to relax. I do have the following week off as well, but I will spending that time at home.

One more thing. My father has a killer Salsa music collection. I fully intend on copying as many CDs as possible…

My Soundtrack (Michael’s Edition)

I was going to write about how unmotivated I was, but then a Michael Jackson song came on and I had to groove to it. I began to think about how I skipped yesterday’s blog. I try not to skip days on this blog, but sometimes I have nothing to say. Don’t get me wrong, I can be busy too. I have written a poem that is not quite ready for this blog yet. I consider it to be too real. At the same time, I am contemplating the next blog for Monday. So I have a lot of things rolling around in this head of mine.

Anyway, with that being said, I wanted to build upon something I did last week: My soundtrack. It is so hard to pick a top 10 or a top 20 of anything these days. With Micheal Jackson, it that much harder. Most of his songs are just so damn good. They can make you groove, or make you think about the world, or just make you cry. I still maintain he has the best songs about love, which makes it so hard to list to at times.

So I decided that I will list the top 20 Micheal Jackson songs on my iTunes that I listen to the most. This will include all songs through out his career:

  1. Blame it on the Boogie – The Jacksons
  2. Off The Wall – Michael Jackson
  3. P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing) – Michael Jackson
  4. Dancing Machine – Jackson 5
  5. Walk Right Now – The Jacksons
  6. Rock With You – Michael Jackson
  7. Billy Jean – Michael Jackson
  8. Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
  9. Human Nature – Michael Jackson
  10. Butterflies – Michael Jackson
  11. Working Day & Night – Michael Jackson
  12. Thriller – Michael Jackson
  13. Can You Feel It? – The Jacksons
  14. Remember The Time – Michael Jackson
  15. Beat It – Michael Jackson
  16. Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson
  17. Wanna Be Starting Something – Michael Jackson
  18. Who’s Loving You – Jackson 5
  19. Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground) – The Jacksons
  20. Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson

Ask me again next week and I will tell you that the order of these songs will change. Right Now, as I was compiling this list, I was listening to “Ben”. I do not have all his songs, but I am working on it.

Let me know what songs you feel should make this Top 20.

Tid Bit Tuesday

Laptop Issues

My laptop is now giving me issues. Of course it will. This is a perfect way to end a horrible month. I thought I fixed this issue before when I was in New York City, but it seems that I will have to take other measures. I am not really too worried about it. I am just more annoyed than anything else.

When my laptop has issues I normally have to find other ways to entertain myself. I realize that I am a bit of a gadget junkie, but I tend to read a lot when I am online. Then there is this blog that I love to write. The most important thing to me, however, is my music. I am always playing music from my laptop. Yes, while I could play it through my iPhone, I have more variety on my computer.

I know I will end fixing it, but it does make me think about how life would be without one for a while. I think may need some time to “unplug”. I need to get back to reading. I have decided to dedicate at least one hour a day to reading. I will see how that goes. I have a lot of books that I can catch up on.

MJ on the Mind

As I had stated on Friday, I am still shocked and saddened by Michael Jackson’s death. I find myself listening to his music more now then ever. I used to listen to his music as it was, but now I have some songs stuck in my head. I have told myself that I will just play as much of his music as possible until I get tired of hearing the same rotation. Of course I am not even close.

I am also not interested in any of the drama that will come out about his estate and who is getting what money. It doesn’t matter anymore. I am more interested in why he hated his image so much. What makes a man who has everything change his appearance? Did he encounter such racism as a kid that he hated what he saw in the mirror? Maybe one day we will find out.

Blog Awards?

I am not the type of person to toot my own horn. I have stated numerous of times that I write for myself. However, I saw a fellow blogger had nominated himself for the Black Weblog Awards and I was just curious as to how one would go about doing this. So I did some research and in the end, I nominated this blog for some awards.

I will say that I have no expectations on winning. I am doing this because, as some people have put it: “if you don’t toot your own horn, no one will do it for you”. I think that ever so slowly I am getting a following and appreciate that and all the well wishes that I am getting. I think it would be cool just to say I was in the running. If you want vote for me you can click here. You can choose any of the 4 categories or all of them. Up to you. I will have the link on the right column until voting is over. Thanks again for all the support.


It has been a very long month. I cannot seem to focus on anything. I have tried to come up with a decent blog today, but it is just not happening. I also did not want to skip today either. I need to write in order to express myself. I know I am at a crossroads in my life and I am finding it difficult to take that next step.

This goes beyond moving on and letting go. This has to do with stability, that is so hard to come by in this recession. I am really starting to see how all this stuff is starting to effect me. Gas is getting too expensive again and that is making it hard to just make trips to New York City. Of course, once I get there, it would be hard not to spend money. I find myself shopping at the dollar store (which, I should have been doing all along). Things are just so tight lately that I feel constricted.

Personally, I am dealing with so many things. The loss of a marriage. The loss of a good friend. The loss of Michael Jackson. It seems like this month has been a total loss for me. I wont mention becoming 35 and the fact that the New York Mets cant seem to get a win when I need it the most. This also seems like the month that everyone is dying in, so that is never good. I am trying to find the little the things that can keep me going.

There are things I am looking forward to. I am going to Florida in 2 weeks. This will be a treat for me and I hope to have fun with my parents. I will definitely blog about them and the heated pool (my father doesn’t like the water to be too cold…yet I sweat in the damn water). I have my grad school classes to look forward to. I will also say that I miss my students. They tend to give me more energy than I give them credit for.

The point is…I need June to be over..

Michael Jackson – In My Own Words

“Life aint so bad at all, If you live it off the wall” – Michael Jackson, Off The Wall

I am stunned. I am still in shock. I cannot believe this man is dead. My own reaction surprises me when it comes to the death of Michael Jackson. I guess I was one of the many people who took for granted that he would always be around to entertain us. Amazing how it is all about us. What about him?

I grew up in the 80’s and as I look back at that time, Hip Hop was just beginning and Disco was ending. Ronald Reagan was in office and the era of greed was being born. The Cold War was in effect and I remember having nightmares that we would have a Nuclear War with the Soviet Union. I was a skinny kid that felt he was ugly and struggled to find his place in a Catholic School he hated going to. There was one person that made that go away: Michael Jackson.

He was a larger than life icon that I identified with. He was cool and had such a swagger in his music videos. I wanted to be him, even if only for a few minutes. His music made everyone stop and dance. I remember my aunt having the Thriller Album. See with vinyl, the covers are huge! It was him laying down and when you folded out the cover would see him laying next to a Tiger! I was so amazed by that.

I connected with him because they would play the Jackson 5 cartoon in syndication. So, you could see adventures about them and listen to their old music. I was young enough to believe the music was all the same anyway. But, seeing him as a kid gave me a sense that I could be like him. I mean think about it…How many black cartoons were on TV besides Fat Albert?

Which beings me to my next point. He dominated POP music! He was a black man first and he dominated the industry. I remember staying up late to watch Friday Night Videos and New York Hot Tracks (I did not have cable at that time) to watch Beat it or Billy Jean. You have to imagine the impact of this black man on the black and latino youth. He was it. The problems in the Bronx would seem to fade when his music was on the radio.

I know…he had problems in the 90’s. I feel I need to say something about this. This man was the kindest man in the world in part because he never grew up. He never had a childhood and endured an abusive father. The pressure of being in the music industry is only enhanced because he lacked self esteem. He got lighter and lighter to gain acceptance that he felt he needed. He hated his nose because he felt he was ugly. We will never know what made him hate his image but I can say that he had a mind of a child and children is what he connected with the most.

Most people have passed judgement on a man we have no idea about. He was misunderstood. We do not know what happens behind closed doors. There was a trial and he was acquitted, but the court of public opinion will always rule. So, everyday he died a little inside. I am sure all he wanted was to have his childhood back. More people came forward with accusations and he paid them because he did not want deal with a trial. Why? Because trial or not. He was guilty in the eyes of the media.

I feel that he knew he was going to die soon. It just makes sense to me. He made music only for his children to hear (funny how no one mentions child molestation of his own kids right?) when he is dead. Who does that? He declined the Jackson’s Reunion Tour. Sure, he had a tour in the works, but I think he just knew…

It forces me to think about my own mortality. Yes, every death does. But this one hurt the most. Right now, it just makes me think about my entire life. When I hear his songs I tear up because some of it just hits home. Particularly his songs about love.

It is over now. He is dead…coincidentally, of a heart that could not take it anymore…a broken heart. He died a lonely man. That is punishment enough for anyone who thinks he committed a crime. It is over. Let the man rest in peace.

I will miss you Mike, your music will live in me forever.