writing – Page 5 – Anthony Otero

A Difficult Question

It’s hard to believe that my novel came out a little more than 3 months ago. In my mind it has been at least a year so I’m always glad when someone takes interest in my book, Hanging Upside Down. I have noticed that there is a common question that most people ask that I find interesting, “How’s the book going?”

This has been the ultimate FAQ. I can’t remember the first person who asked me but I know that I have been asked often since then. The real question for me is how do I answer this question? Sure, I have answered it already with, “it’s going well” because what other answer is there? Even if the book sales are crap (something I will not confirm or deny) is that something that I really want to share or, better yet, is that what the person who is asking wants to hear?

Just image that conversation:

Pregunta asks, “So, how’s the book coming?”

Latinegro looks at Preggy slyly and responds, “This shit sucks, my dude. No one is buying the book. Did you buy a copy?”

Pregunta backs away slightly, “Uh see, the way my bank account is set up…”

There is a cold look that comes across the face of the Latinegro. He is hurt but hides it by rubbing the black and white hairs of his beard then asks, “So that is a no?”

“I mean, I’ve been meaning to buy it.”

“Have you? What are you waiting for?”

“The Movie.”

I mean really, there is only one way to answer a question such as this: The book is going great. Even if it isn’t I would not tell anyone any different because no one wants to tell a potential customer that sales are terrible. Its best to make someone feel like they are missing something…and to be honest they are. At the same time people know that I haven’t sold like a 1000 copies because, come on, if I had it would be all over this blog like a money shot.

I don’t fault anyone for the question I just feel it’s difficult to be really honest about. This is just another example of things I learned as a self published author. I should have added it to this list. But you what? It is all good I am happy to even have the question posed to me.

But let me ask you a difficult question. What are you waiting for?

Friendship, Novel, writing

The Book of Isabel #NaNoWriMo

I started writing my second novel a few weeks ago but it wasn’t until a few days ago that I really got into it. I knew after I was done with the first novel I was going to have to figure out what I needed to do in order to get this second one started because there was no question in my mind that book two was going to happen. I’ve already figured out the theme and the time in which all of this is taking place. I wont confuse anyone so I will just say that the book is about friendships and the strain people put on them.

The Book of Isabel provides some unique challenges for me. The time frame is actually in the present and the past, I wont say that there are flashbacks but more like two stories going on at the same time. Then there are returning character from Hanging Upside Down and having to delve deeper into them than we’ve already seen while introducing some new and crazy characters that will make shit very interesting. I also have the challenge of not making the same mistakes I did with the debut novel. (By the way, this is just a teaser cover…it wont look like this when it’s all done)

It’s not lost on me that this is National Novel Writing Month. I find it interesting that as many times as I’ve tried to write things in past Novembers, it’s only now that (being one book into the game) I know how to focus myself and write. So at the very least, I figured that now would be a good time to start this process again.

I also set a goal that by the time I hit 50, I should have at least 4 books to my name. It is ambitious goal but totally doable. So now it continues and with this book, in which, I had a hard time really getting into in the beginning because I was thinking too much about my current novel that came out last month. Why am I thinking about it too much? Because I am over it already. lol

What I mean by this is that I know in my heart, I’m not cut out for marketing. Sure, I can sell the book one on one. I can promote it on all my social media but I cannot make people buy it. So what should I do? I should write another book. This way I can just concentrate on what I can control. I will still work hard on promoting to people that I don’t know but for the most part if you follow me or even visit this page for the first time, then you know that I have a book out. To be honest, becoming an author was the first goal. Maybe one day something I write catches on but who really knows? I have stories I want to tell and will continue to do so.

There was also a thought that I do have a collection of poems that I have all set to publish. It will need some formatting and some direction (as well as editing) but that is something that is always out there for me. I’ve talked about this to a few people saying that it could be something I just drop in 2015 but I’m really not sure. The problem is that I do not consider myself a poet.

With all that said, I am proud that of what I’ve written thus far. I think I will be taking a emotional look at how men view friendship with men and women alike and what it means to be a true friend. While, Hanging Upside Down deals with love and sex, The Book of Isabel will go beyond that to deal with love and friendship. I personally did not know how to tell my friends that I loved them until after 9/11 but should it take something that drastic to tell someone how you care?

I dunno. I guess I will figure it out as I write it.

comic books, Novel, writing

My Books Will Connect

I had a conversation with someone recently and they mentioned that much of my writing in Hanging Upside Down has a comic book feel to it. There are many cliff hangers from one chapter to the next. I kinda envisioned someone reading this book on their way to work while riding some sort of mass transit so that the end of some chapters would allow people to take break. Anyway, there is a big reason why I wrote this book the way I did.

First, let’s be real, this novel was not the first story I’ve written. It is, however, the first story I finished. There are several short stories that I’ve worked on with complex characters (one of those short stories appears in the book, Chapter Twenty One) and one longer story that I had originally thought would be my first novel.

The Angel of Death was something I was toying with for a few years on and off until I scraped the project and posted what I did have on Goodreads. One of the main characters in that story is in Hanging Upside Down. It has always been my goal to write books in which the characters are interchangeable. Everything I write, at the moment, is all in the same reality. While this may not be a relatively new concept to some authors, this is some what of a big deal to me. This isn’t just about Louis Ortiz and writing several books about him even if the I’m currently writing a follow up novel. This is about the world that surrounds him.

Hanging Upside Down contains a variety of characters I can go back to. I can either use them in a brief appearance or simply have them as the protagonist if I want. To me this provides history I don’t have to make up on the spot. I will always have something to reference to or more importantly, I can go deeper into minor characters that have also appeared in any of the books. I think after book two (which is currently titled The Book of Isabel) there will be a wide variety of characters and different plot options that I will have in my arsenal.

It is, of course, easy for me to think about everything I plan to write in the grand scheme because it’s all in my head. I do think it’s a totally different thing to try to execute this plan. I believe what draws people to read book are characters and themes that are relatable but I also think that if I put in a extra layer of depth that explains how one character acts in one story by explaining it in another story is a very interesting challenge.

This is a comic book way of looking at things. Why is it that Hal Jordan does not appear in Crisis on Infinite Earths? The answer is very simple if you read what happened to Green Lantern prior to that Maxi-Series hitting the shelves. That is what I want to get into in my novel world, a sense of history that goes beyond that current story. There are a lot of names in the current novel and I guarantee that some of these names will come up again.

my life, Novel, writing

100 Copies

I look over the last few weeks and I can see how much I’ve hustled. When I started this process I wasn’t sure what I wanted that magic number to be. I never set a goal of the number of units I wanted to sell. I just wanted to publish a book. Now all I do is find myself looking at numbers and reading guides on “how to sell your novel.”

So now that my travel schedule has calmed down, I can focus on what got me here. While I need to write more, I also need to read more, and ultimately I need to support more.

I have sold 100 copies of Hanging Upside Down and I want to think that’s awesome but something tells me that I can do better. I’ve learned so much about self publishing and I admit that I’ve made a shit load of mistakes. When I’m done with the second book, I will do many of these things differently. Yet, I think that there are things I still have up my sleeve and other strategies I have yet to try.

I view this number in two ways and it really depends on the mood I’m in. On the positive side, I’ve sold 100 books! I mean there were times I thought that I would never go over 40. I know, it’s a great accomplishment to publish a book (even if typos continue to be found — don’t go there) but it’s even better when people actually read it. On the negative side, 100 copies is like nothing in the grand scheme. There are a lot of people within my circle and most of those (between friends and family) make up that number. What I’m really trying to do is step outside that circle into a larger readership.

Regardless of my mood, I’m still my own biggest critic. If anyone is going to criticize anything about the book it will not be something I have not already told myself.

So I will use this number as motivation to get more done. I have opened up most channels available to me in order to sell a book. Amazon, iBooks, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play are all channels where I have taken the time to set up accounts which has led to the book being available. I just need to get people there.

This first book is like an experiment. I see what works and what doesn’t work. The next book will be everything that this novel isn’t when it comes to mishaps. But for now, I just want to try to get to the next 100.

Did I mention I’m doing a Book Giveaway?

Novel, writing

Chapter Fourteen

In a few short hours I will be at my first New York City book reading/signing at La Casa Azul Bookstore in East Harlem. It’s interesting because I’m not really nervous. This is unlike many of the events that I work in my day job with the exception of the fact that people are coming to see me. Perhaps the lack of nerves has to do with the fact that I’ve been preparing what I’m going to read at this event.

It’s fair to say that the book is adult in nature. It’s also fair to say that I’ve really tried my best to control how the book is categorized. If you look at where the book is listed on Amazon it just says fiction but my dear friends at Apple have marked my book as Erotica. I don’t view this book as erotica at all. There are books out there in which the premise is for the characters to get down and get it in and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I would like to think that this is a story that contains sexual themes but it is certainly not porn.

Which is why I had to choose what I read very carefully because I want to show the story outside of the sexual theme. There are several chapters in the book that have no sex at all although there is extreme language in the dialogue. I combed through the novel to find just the right amount of the story I need to share that does not contain spoilers. So, what I want to do is share the excerpt of what I’m going to read for those who will not there. This is a small portion of Chapter Fourteen:

It’s about a four hour drive to New York. I prefer taking Route 17 because traffic is always lighter than using I-81 going toward Pennsylvania. It also gives me a great opportunity for some alone time. I normally set up a playlist on my iPod of random songs that range from Hip-Hop to classical music, but this time to start my drive the My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy album by Kanye West. Music relaxes me while giving me time to think.

I’m very excited to see Zenia. I think about how this whole thing started. We met six years ago while she was an undergraduate student. She was member of the Latino Students Association and I attended one of their forums called The Origins of Quisqueya. It was a brilliant discussion on the relationship between Haiti and the Dominican Republic. That was the forum where we first met when her boyfriend, at the time, introduced me. It was a brief encounter and from then on, I always seemed to run into her.

We really didn’t start talking until a year later when she was a senior. She became the president of LSA and asked me to be on a panel discussion about Afro Latino Identity. This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart so I gladly accepted. Our mutual interest in Latino Heritage Month is what sparked a friendship especially since she had broken up with her boyfriend the summer prior. She would be a frequent visitor to my office, which was not all unusual since I had many students visit me. What Raina had an issue with was how often I communicated with her via text. I can honestly say that in the beginning the relationship was strictly platonic. There was nothing inappropriate being said or done, it was just a generic friendship that was forged upon mutual interests. She would date one or two guys on and off during this time.

It took me by surprise that she applied to be a Graduate Assistant for my office. The office of Student Programs consists of several smaller departments that revolve around the overall development of students outside of the classroom. My area is Diversity Engagement, which deals with the celebratory months, multicultural student organizations and mentoring. The other three areas are Events Management, Greek Life, and Student Activities. Each area is slotted to have one Graduate Assistant and it just so happened that the position that reported to me had been vacated due to graduation.

One of the most important things that I look for in a G.A. is the ability to do the job effectively. I also needed someone who could help with picking up the slack of meeting and advising undergraduate students. The reason why I hired Zenia was because of her experience as a former student leader and her general ability in computer programming and coding. I had a goal in mind that year which was to overhaul our entire website and have a multifunctional database that would match mentors with students. My previous G.A. had already started on the preliminary designs in terms of color scheme and layout but the project became too big for him to handle. The original thought was to hire a third party company or person to complete the design work, but when Zenia came on-board she expressed a desire to do it and apply it to her Masters Program in Computer Engineering.

Zenia graduated in May and because of the website being overhauled, I was able to get special consideration for her to start in July. I felt that we needed a two month head start before classes began in order to make sure we can launch the website by September and the interactive Mentoring component in January. This is when the both of us saw each other just about everyday. Our working relationship was intense and the schedule was ambitious. Raina took notice as to how increasingly busy I was especially over the summer since that time is normally a dead period. She was already convinced that something was going on.

It wasn’t until after the launch of the website that Judy pointed out that Zenia had a crush on me. I admitted to her that I found Zenia to be attractive but I never thought anything would come of it. Then one night we were chatting casually online when we starting talking about our personal lives. We got on to the subject of past loves and sex. I found myself being very curious about her and her exploits. I never understood why she was presently single. Before you know it we were flirting with each other. We began to talk about everything.

The question that came up was: Are you happy in your marriage? As much as I wanted to say yes to this, it made me think about how much of a bad husband I already was. I had a constant problem with flirting with other women. I just couldn’t get used to the fact that the moment I got married I became interesting to other women. I felt like I spent years being ignored by most women and all of sudden I was getting attention that I wasn’t used to. Years later, I would discover that I was looking for something that my marriage wasn’t providing me. But, answering that question, are you happy in your marriage, was something that I couldn’t answer with certainty.

Why was I not happy? Was it because I was too young to get married when I did? Was it that I was just an asshole who loves women so much that I craved that extra attention? Perhaps it was the fact that I miss the attention I used to get from my mother. Maybe I was looking for something more unique and real. The problem with my faux happiness was that it was killing my marriage slowly and Zenia was shooting holes right through everything by just being the bright ray of light I may have been looking for. She had a Global Warming effect on me and I just chose to ignore it.

Our affair seemed to start with an awkward kiss. We were working late one day and she was sitting at my desk typing away. She called me over to show me some values within the mentoring database. I was looking over her shoulder and I could smell her perfume. It was an intoxicating smell that almost made me kiss her neck right then and there. As we talked, we both looked at each other and I went in for the kiss. Zenia was just about to say something as I kissed her and the whole situation seemed awkward.

I pulled away and her eyes were telling me that she was shocked. She gets up and begins to leave. “Where are you going?” I ask. She replies that she just has to go. I sit down on my chair thinking about how much of a fool I am. I can hear Raina’s voice in my head: it’s only a matter of time before your online flirting becomes reality, ten cuidado. I now wanted to fix this. I didn’t want to lose her as a graduate assistant. All of our flirting gave me an indication that perhaps it might be ok, but I couldn’t be so sure.

I went home feeling terribly guilty. Raina and I had a fight that night. I’m not sure who started it, maybe I gave an attitude about something or maybe she didn’t like the fact that when she called my office Zenia picked up the line. At the end of the night I texted her:

I’m sorry. What I did was unacceptable.

She wasn’t online either. Raina went to bed upset and I just stayed in the living room watching Sportscenter. My phone vibrates and it is Zenia.

I’m sorry I walked out. It just caught me off guard. There is something I need to do now and I was unsure about it until now. I will be in your office in the afternoon around 1pm. I already checked your calendar. You have no appointments.

I wanted to text her back, but I just knew that it might not be a good thing. I should’ve known better. Zenia was stressed about school and the viability of the project in general. Now I throw my dumb ass actions into the mix. I was mad at myself because she’s one of the smartest women I know and the fact that I’m 10 years older than her and married made it worse. I wouldn’t be surprised if she quit the next day.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed that. I have a book giveaway listed here but if you want to purchase Hanging Upside Down you head here and chose the format best for you!

Thanks for the support!

Novel, writing

It Was All A Dream…

Hanging Upside Down has a bunch of 90’s hip hop references in it. I wanted to make sure that I honored what I felt was the best time for the genre. But what makes me laugh as I was drinking Merlot the other day (yeah, being an author means I drink wine – I also had a coupon), was that song Juicy from Notorious B.I.G. came into my head as thought about actually making this book a reality. Our paths are not the same but the song talks about reaching his dream.

I think about the late nights and the editing. I think about the times when I thought that it was such a bad idea to even write a single word. There was a time when I thought that everything in this book was dog shit. Somehow I endured with the support system that I have. But I did know one thing for sure: I could do this.

Let’s assume you read the book or at least started to. By now you are wide eyed after reading chapter one. Perhaps you were really not expect things of that nature to happen so quickly or perhaps that situation itself was just surprising. Well, truth be told, chapter one is the key to the entire book. When I first started writing this, it was just a short story. The original title was called Revenge. I was going to add it to the numerous amount of short stories that I’ve written and done nothing with. But there was something in me that decided to just keep going and the story itself had evolved past the original title.

That feeling of I can do this permeated my thoughts as I got closer to 40 thousand words. I remembered about how I had thoughts of one day writing a book and how my past attempts have failed for one reason or another. I really thought with each chapter that something was going to stop me. I thought there would’ve been some sort of self induced writer’s block that would prevent me from finishing this. So, I kept writing to see where this whole thing was going to take me.

Then something happened on the way towards this dream. I could not stop writing! I was starting to think that I was writing too much. Was this story ever going to end? My fear of writing too little became a fear of writing too much. I’m not trying to be like Tolken and write epics that span several novels. I just wanted to tell one story and go from there. What was left was a 400+ page story about a guy who makes bad decisions.

Of course the first question I get is… Are you sure this is fiction? O_O <— my face

In the end, I think that I’ve come up with a product that men who have been in similar situations can relate to. I think women readers will see this as a juicy type of story (see what I did there?) that will be entertaining to say the least. At least, that is direction I’m getting from feedback I’ve received.

Answer: Yes, I’m sure that book is fiction based on things I’ve seen, heard, or done. lol

The real dream is being able to go on Amazon and see my book there. I don’t think that I will every get used to seeing it. I’m not used to book displays or people calling great attention to all of this when I’m around. I suppose I just want the book too speak for itself and that is the real dream.

my life, Novel, Syracuse University, writing

30 for 30: Books & Autographs

All of this is hard to explain. To see the table that has a card with my name next to a small stack of books would have been hard for me to fathom a year ago. Yet, to see people drop by that very table to get my signature and a copy of my work is hard to put into words. I’ve barely gotten used to the idea that I wrote a novel but seeing more than one person hold it in their hands is just awesome.

I wont lie. I have intentionally made it difficult for people to get advanced copies of the book. The fact of the matter is that as a self published author, I have to do much of the work from marketing to setting the price to creating actual invoices. I wanted to create a buzz within my circle of friends and family that would expand into other people feeling excitement about this. So I emailed people in phases with explicit instructions to not share the book link with anyone and the only favor I asked was to post a picture of the book on social media.

The results worked better than I ever thought they would. Those who did not receive any emails wondered how to get the book and when they asked me where they can purchase it, I would then send them a link with the same instructions as the previous person. Of course, if you follow me on any of my social media platforms you will know that I promote pretty regularly but not heavily. I don’t want to drown my audience with this novel either, which is why it’s better when other people do it.

Which brings me to my book signing in Syracuse this past Saturday. I ordered thirty books for this, which is the standard from I was told. I was fully prepared to come back to NYC with an extra 10-15 books that I could essentially sell out of the trunk of my car. But before I really knew it, people were buying the books that were on display that the SU Bookstore the day before the signing. But still, it was a game day and despite it being a reunion weekend for Black and Latino Alums (Coming Back Together), I thought I would still have extra books left.

Well, I have always been told that I sell myself short because all my books were sold out and I was shocked. It was definitely a highlight when I told people who asked if the book was still available and I had to break to them. Just like I can say that I’m happy to admit that I’m working on a deal with the SU Bookstore to have more copies available. Although, after while, I do feel generally bad that not everyone was able to get the book when they wanted it.

All of you have been so supportive of me and I cannot express how grateful I am. The book hits Amazon and Ebooks on October 1st. I’m happy this journey has taken me here.

Novel, writing

The Numbers Behind My Novel

I consider this upcoming week to the eve of my first book signing. It is quite a big deal in my world and to be quite honest, I don’t know what to expect. What I mean is that I don’t know how to act or what to write. You have to understand that I barely know what to say when I sign a birthday card. Anyway, this whole thing has made me think about the novel what is going on right now.

Here are some number that I find interesting:

There are 5 people who have the novel before I do. That sound’s crazy right? Well, it started like this, I wanted close friends, family, along with people who have helped me make this a reality to have an advanced copy. So when the book was finally ready to go, I sent certain people an email on how to purchase this advanced copy. So I also have to order copies for myself but I suppose I chose standard shipping because certain people have gotten it as early as Tuesday!

Only 8 days before my first ever book signing in Syracuse and 27 days until my NYC signing. I feel like a rookie. Do I bring my own pen? Should it be a sharpie? I have no idea what the standard is. One would think I would know this since I have worked enough book signings in my day. But the real question is, do I draw like a little symbol? I dunno. I suppose I should practice.

Since we are on this number, 8 is the amount of times I’ve read this book. Even though I have an editor, much of this was a team effort. I also wanted to makes sure that each read made sense and applied the appropriate changes I felt I need to do. With all the eyes looking at this, there are 2 major typos that I just discovered. They wont be in the ebook versions or any of the later versions if I can help it. You get a cookie if you find them. #rollseyes

Anyway, 36 is the number of chapters in the book which spans 412 pages. The solicitation will say 420 but that is counting the dedication and the acknowledgments. I always find it interesting that I wrote so much. This story started out as a short story that kept going and going.

Ultimately the only number that really matters is 1. This is the first book of what I hope to be many. I have been loosely working on the sequel to this book as well as a brand new idea that has come to me. I’ve been getting tons of support and I just hope that you all enjoy it!

Black Superheroes, comic books, writing

The Crisis of Comic Book Nerds

It must be hard to be a nerd these days. Look what’s happening in the ~~not~~ real world! Captain America is now Black, Thor is now a woman, Wally West is Black (one of the many version of the Flash), there are two Black Supermen flying around, a Muslim Green Lantern, and the crux of this whole thing is that damn Miles Morales, the Ultimate Spider-Man. Who said it was OK to have all this diversity in comic books?

Wait. Let me fix the first sentence. It must be hard to be a white nerd these days.

The socially awkward have a problem with the broad brush stroke of diversity that also includes feminism. These are big words that get thrown around in the comic book worlds because (surprise, surprise!) current comic book audience includes women and men of all races. So it would only make sense that Marvel and DC would make books (or at least characters) to address their changing readership.

Before I even go any further. I need to point out that I’m not addressing how well or poorly these companies actually represent people of color. I’m not going to address how horribly these companies portray women in their porn like renditions of variant covers or how they contribute to overall debate on standards of beauty when in reality most these fans boys just want to fantasize and masturbate to some form of super heroine.

This is more about the nerds who are used to the norm. They are used to the role playing games in which they imagine a world of trolls and elves in which everyone is white (thank you Peter Jackson for the reinforcement). Do you know how hard it is to find a picture of a Black woman, Ranger class? If it exists then I wouldn’t know about it. These fan boys are used to a world where the the only diverse version of the Justice League of America is when Martian Manhunter was on the team.

So why are they up in arms? Their world is crashing in around them. The “minorities” are taking over their space. They are used to the one Black friend. Do you know what I’m talking about? Let me list the one Black friend in comics and beyond: James Rhodes (Iron Man), The Falcon (Captain America), Lando Calrissian (Star Wars), Cyborg (Teen Titans/Justice League), and John Stewart (Justice League/Green Lantern). Those just from the top of my head. Please notice that Cyborg and John Stewart are rarely on the same team at the same time.

But now, we have books like Multiversity that depicts worlds of black superheros (I will not mention the plethora of independent books that have entire worlds dedicated black superheros…or maybe I will) and we have Marvel that is pushing the envelope in their cinematic universe as well as comic books. People are losing their minds in comment sections all over the internet that is reserved for them. Donald Glover is the voice of Miles Morales in the 3rd season of Ultimate Spider-Man. Just one episode and the fans boys have lost their 20 sided dice.

Why is this important to them? It is that impossible to see a diverse face in a comic? Neither comic book company has really scratched the surface. Latinos, Asians, and Native Americans are barely represented. Women are still portrayed with huge boobs and impossible outfits to fight crime. But you dare put pants on Wonder Woman? You dare make Green Lantern gay? You have the nerve to have Michael B Jordan play the Human Torch? You’ve just ruined comics forever.

I call it progress. Although real progress has already occurred.

Title image by John Jennings

Blogging, my life, Novel, writing

Dare

Writing a novel has been such a process of high’s and lows that, in a way, I would have to be a little nuts to want to do this again. Yet, that desire to continue on to another process and write until I can’t anymore has become something close to borderline obsession. Trust me when I say that I know what obsession is all about. The title and cover picture of this blog alone is based on my love for the Transformers Generation One.

Transformers: The Movie came out in 1986 and it still resonates with me because at its core there is a theme about never giving up. Sure, everything else about it is awesome from the fighting scenes to the voice actors and the amazing soundtrack. Which brings me to the title, Dare by Stan Bush. This is one of my favorite songs of the entire film. It works sequentially well with the action but the lyrics are just as powerful. Here is the chorus:

Dare, dare to believe you can survive
You hold the future in your hand
Dare, dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It’s time to take a stand
And you can win, if you dare

Understand that I was 12 years old when this movie came out. While everyone else loves The Touch (and they should because it is iconic), I loved Dare because it spoke to me and as a matter of fact, it still speaks to me as a 40 year old. I understood then as I do now that I had to take matters into my own hands if I wanted to do something in my life and as simple that may sound, we all know doing it is extremely difficult.

I talk about fear a lot on this blog because fear can ~~stop~~ delay me from doing something. There was a time when fear stopped me from doing many things but I have learned to deal with this issue, however, it has made me think twice about myself and my novel. Not to be cliche-ish but it was time to take a stand. I knew that they only way to be successful is to take risks.

I mentioned obsession and proof of this can been seen on my Google+ account. I have been watching this movie on and off for the last two weeks. It was a huge deal in ’86 because no other animated film bases on a television series was this graphic and violent. I loved it because believe it or not it helped me deal with the concept of death and how to move past it. Why was that important? My grandmother died prior to me seeing this film.

I do remember no one wanting to take me to see this movie so I had go the Whitestone Multiplex in Bronx alone and witness this awesomeness. In many ways, I remained obsessed with the movie by waiting for it to come out on VHS and then years later, DVD. I remember buying the soundtrack on CD after I graduated college. I listen to it too much even to this day. I will mention that you may not want to watch the movie with me because I know all the words and will say them verbatim. I even reference it the novel.

Yes, I am obsessed but you know what? I dared to be this way. I dared to survive all my issues. The deaths, the divorces, the move, the disappointments, the rejections and I dared to write this novel. I’m sure in a few weeks I will stop watching Transformers and move to something like Star Wars, but I still dare to be great.