The Joneses

{Originally Posted on Blogger}

One more day and I am out of the hole in the wall I live in. Just in time too. I guess all the four legged (or more) have decided to move in before my lease is up. The other day I lost a duel with a mouse. The little fucker ran right by me as I am playing a game. So, I made it my mission to catch Mickey. Of course, this little shit was too fast for me. Rocky was no help. It darted right by him and this dog has the nerve to look at me after the fact like “did you see that?” So what did I learn? I learned that mice can jump. I corned the bastard in between some books…so I started pushing that in…the thing jumped out!!! I was so pissed!

Anyway, thank god I don’t have do deal with this shit anymore. I told Mr. Furley to patch that hole under the sink when I first moved in, but you know how he is. I even wont go into the spider situation. “Go Webs!” If you think that is bad. I received in AOL 7.0 cd in the mail saying “We want you back”. God…that cd was so hard to shred!

Speaking of shit that is unreal. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends seem to do everything you do? Or better yet, they try to “one up” you. Well, than your not alone! Lets see…(not that I am counting) when I got a dog….They got a dog. When I got a new computer…They got a new computer. When I said I was getting a PlayStation….”YOOOO, Guess what I got!!!!” (Josie, don’t They have a GameCube too?). So when we decide we are getting married at City Hall…guess what They are doing in a few weeks? BITERS TO MY STYLE HERE’S A CONTRIBUTION!!!

On a final note, I went to Friendly’s (again) and a fugly-ass (so ugly she is going to hell) lady sat in the booth behind me. This behemoth coughed up a fucking lung! That disgusts me so much. You want to eat at fine dining establishment and some fucking troll is hacking all over the place. That is how a brother can catch cooties.