FU Pods 3: The Return of the I-Pod (and more)

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

Ok, So for the last time, I go to the APPLE store and get my new I-POD. So as I am waiting, I see something so fantastic! Another black person walks into the store! I was so hype. I wont mention the white girl he came in with, but I was happy. Well, despite it all I did get another I-Pod that I now call, Vol. 3. My warranty is until January and I will be so careful with it because apparently there was a dent. I dont remember dropping, but ok. The Tech was being extremely nice to me so I wont bad mouth APPLE, at least today. My wife, however still vows so shove her old White Pod up the CEOs ass (sideways).

I am glad that is over with. One thing that bothers me (and I dont know if anyone goes through this) is when people think you are invisible. First let me just make a statement: Although not everything is about race, I cannot help but think that most things are. With that being said, we are at Friendlys the other day. It has been mad hot and we were in the mood for some ice cream. So, Josie, Nessa, and I get seated, look through the menu, and just wait. Rule of thumb, if you are not even spoken to after 5 minutes of being seated, that is way too long. So, 15 minutes later, I ask the hostess if was any intention of us getting a waitress. She looks over to this blond woman and was likeyou gonna take care of them? So she replies to her (like we cant hear her) How many of my tables you gonna seat?

So, a minute later this chick comes to our table and was like sorry folks, I did not see you there. Riiiight. She only passed us like 4 times. Now in situations like this I look at my wife. The look on her face was priceless (if you know her, you know what I am talking about). She does not have a good poker face. I can be cordial because I dont want my food to have the special sauce. Now to top it off, she brings my wife the wrong order (strike 2 if you are counting). Bringing the wrong order is not that big of a deal in the large scheme of things, but it does show she was not paying attention.

Ok, so the ice cream was good. Flat out killed it. She brings the check. I tell my wife that I will go up and take care of the check, since she was still eating because of the slip up our waitress made. If you know anything about Friendly’s, you would know that your waitress or a manager has to take the payment. So I am standing at the register and this guy is like, Ashley has to take this, let me see where she is. This guy just rang up his customer and they are about to leave when she gets to the register. I am standing there giving her the money and the check and she looks at the guy who called her like, what do you need me to do, should I get the door? W T F???

This is the exercise portion of this blog. I want you to stop reading this. Go to my profile and look at the pictures of me. DO I LOOK FUCKING INVISABLE? Who does that? So this is the second time you did not see me? I did not know that Helen Keller was working for Friendlys. You want to know what else this chick did not see? Her tip.

The Joneses

{Originally Posted on Blogger}

One more day and I am out of the hole in the wall I live in. Just in time too. I guess all the four legged (or more) have decided to move in before my lease is up. The other day I lost a duel with a mouse. The little fucker ran right by me as I am playing a game. So, I made it my mission to catch Mickey. Of course, this little shit was too fast for me. Rocky was no help. It darted right by him and this dog has the nerve to look at me after the fact like “did you see that?” So what did I learn? I learned that mice can jump. I corned the bastard in between some books…so I started pushing that in…the thing jumped out!!! I was so pissed!

Anyway, thank god I don’t have do deal with this shit anymore. I told Mr. Furley to patch that hole under the sink when I first moved in, but you know how he is. I even wont go into the spider situation. “Go Webs!” If you think that is bad. I received in AOL 7.0 cd in the mail saying “We want you back”. God…that cd was so hard to shred!

Speaking of shit that is unreal. Have you ever been in a situation where your friends seem to do everything you do? Or better yet, they try to “one up” you. Well, than your not alone! Lets see…(not that I am counting) when I got a dog….They got a dog. When I got a new computer…They got a new computer. When I said I was getting a PlayStation….”YOOOO, Guess what I got!!!!” (Josie, don’t They have a GameCube too?). So when we decide we are getting married at City Hall…guess what They are doing in a few weeks? BITERS TO MY STYLE HERE’S A CONTRIBUTION!!!
Congrats though..lol

On a final note, I went to Friendly’s (again) and a fugly-ass (so ugly she is going to hell) lady sat in the booth behind me. This behemoth coughed up a fucking lung! That disgusts me so much. You want to eat at fine dining establishment and some fucking troll is hacking all over the place. That is how a brother can catch cooties.