Judging Others

It has been a long month. I cannot begin to share how much I have had to go for each poem I posted last month. Everything I wrote was either about someone or something that has effected me over the last year. I told myself that I was not going force the writing of 30 poems unless I felt it. I was only able to come up with 21 and I am ok with that. I have shared so much of myself this passed month that is it almost difficult to go back to normal blog writing, but I feel that after a month I do have a few things to say.

I have come across some interesting things over the last month that has just struck a nerve with me. I have written about so many things since I started this blog, but I have barely touched the subject of judgmental people. This goes far beyond people who love to hate on others. This has to do with the fact that there are people in the world that feel the need to judge others on their actions. There is s distinct difference between  whether you think someone is wrong or and judging them for said actions. We can never walk in someone else’s shoes.

There is that saying, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, well the reason for that is because we are all human. I also noticed that those who judge the most are the ones who have made some of the biggest mistakes in their lives and usually refuse to acknowledge this or they just lie to themselves in general. The ability to judge someone suggests that one may feel they are better than someone else.

Often times, I will have people tell me about their problems and usually they ask me not to judge them. I almost have to laugh every time because I have said this more often than not: after everything I have done, I am in no position to judge anyone. I understand that mistakes are made. I understand that we have the tendency to follow our hearts with no regard of reason. I understand that it is so hard to let go of things. Why in the world would I judge anyone when I have made the same mistakes? It makes no sense to me, but I have seen people do this.

I have seen people judge me. I have seen people judge their friends. It is something that all of us have this capacity to do. We think that we have a higher moral code than others but who determines what that higher ground is? Do not get me wrong, I don’t pretend to be this person that likes everyone because I do not. But, I base my likes and dislikes on their character. I don’t think that we are all born to get along with everyone, but we are born with the ability to respect a person for who they are and not judge them for who we think they are.

This is a big deal to me because I know that there are people who shape their view of the world on other people’s judgments. Some people will act a certain way to avoid judgmental opinions of their friends. Others will just adjust their lives due to fear of what people may say and sure maybe they just do not want to hear what others have to say, but at the end of the day, most people care about what other’s think.

We live in society in which, if you are rich and famous, who get that fine microscope turned on you because everyone wants to know your business. We do this to each other on a smaller scale, but it is so very similar. It should not matter if someone is dating a person we like or not especially if we cannot get our own shit together. Most of us do not go to Law school and practice it in order to ware a robe that allows us to push a gavel and judge other for their crimes against society.

People judge others because they feel that if they were in the same situation they would do something different. The fact of the matter is, we would never know. If it is a matter of the heart, we can never know. We can only try to understand the hardships of that our friends and family go through. Judging people only makes you, the judge, look petty and immature and when it comes around to your turn to go through a hardship, just hope the eyes of judgmental do not fall on you.

The Assuming Eyes…

“When you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.” – Anonymous

I wondered how long I can go without having to reverting back to my thoughts. I am proud to say that i dedicated a full month to the Latinegr@s Project. Poetry is another thing. Over the last month I created a separate blog for Poetry. Not to say that I will not feature poetry here because I will. I am just featuring my thoughts in a different way via poetry and music.

There has been something on my mind for about  two weeks or so. Yesterday, I just came to the fore front. I am not really sure if it was the endless coverage of Tiger Woods or if it the occurrences in the world around me. I guess I am both amused and troubled about the hypocrisy around me.

If you divert your eyes to the top of this page, you will see my mantra. “I am a firm believer that you are never too old to change. I am not perfect and I do not expect perfection for the people I know. However I do expect people to be real.” I came up with that some time last January and I still hold true to that. I am a person that can go back and forth on issues such as fate but, I am human and we do tend to evolve.

I do not agree with the judgment of others in any fashion. So whether they judge me or they judge others, it makes no difference. Not one us have the divinity to make judgments because we are not perfect in any way. I guess what really makes me smile is that fact people who have their thoughts or opinions on situations are themselves, hypocrites.

I am one to believe that people can change once they hit rock bottom. The ability to change is all based on losing everything. We all have lessons that need to be taught to us. When someones says that people cannot change, I take offense to it personally because I have indeed changed. I have also witnessed change in others. So, it is not like I am pulling this ideology out of my ass. Of course, with that said, there are those who do not change and that is more a personal choice that some genetic excuse that people can muster.

As most of you already know, I believe in forgiveness. Not in the divine sense, but in the sense of moving on with your life. This statement alone has caused some to say that I am a hypocrite. There is one person in my life I refuse to associate myself with since my college days. It is not that I do not forgive him because ultimately the past is the past, but it is more that he does not see why he needs to be forgiven. There the thought that his theft of what was mine (he still has it) is something he doesn’t acknowledge as wrong. My lack of association with him is not just a decision that was made by me but all of his former friends.

So when bringing up the question if people can change, I still think they can but, they have to want to change. I think forgiveness plays that role in allowing yourself to forgive and be forgiven. However, repeating the same behavior over and over again leads to people never trusting you again.

The most amusing thing to me how some people can judge others and live a similar type of life. I know that people in general are assholes. We are human and we do whatever we want. Evidently, we cannot escape the ever assuming eye of others. If people want to take the mantle of being judgmental then they need to turn those assuming eyes on themselves.