Things will get Better

Uncanny X-Men 203

A few years ago I felt that I was beginning to sound like a broken record. I talked about fate many times and how everything happens for a reason. I still believe this. No matter what happens to me or no matter what dumb things I do, I know that some where down the road I will be in a better place.

I am not talking about death. I am talking about being able to deal with things that occur and moving on in a positive way. There should always be a sign somewhere in our line of sight that we see everyday that will say “things will get better.” Clearly this is a statement that can be meant for those going through rough times, but I think it serves a purpose for those going through good times. Thing will get better can represent anything from getting better grades, to getting a better job, or finding a soul mate.

We all have the capacity to get over ourselves and our own bullshit. The universe has a way of letting us know that we are not a smart as we think nor are we as dumb as we may appear. Mistakes are always supposed to be made. That is how we get through life and become better people. Regrets are for those can’t seem to forgive themselves. Not all mistakes are regrettable and not all regrets stem from mistakes. The real issue is when does regret stop you from moving forward.

I suppose a better question is, what is moving forward look like? Every 7 years our bodies regenerates itself..or simply put, it takes 7 years for our bodies to renew itself. We basically shed our skin, our cells become new and we go through a metamorphosis that last 7 years and then starts all over again. We become our personal Phoenix. But does moving on mean we have to become different people? I think that depends on the paradigm shift that happens in our personal lives. (Ironically, it is not lost on me that 7 years seems to be big thing…like 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror or even worse…it takes 7 years for bad credit to leave your report)

Yet, every bad thing we experience and how we handle it, defines us. We may think that our personal world is coming to end but what we do not see, is how good most of us have it. There are people in this world going through worse than us. Our lives of privilege can become pretty laughable when comparing it to the problems of some else, especially when we take certain things in our lives for granted.

Things will get better because more often than not, they do. Its really up to us to recognize when things are getting better. Life may have a way of throwing a monkey wrench into all your plans but life also has away of rewarding you. We may be our own worse critics and we may come down on ourselves hard but there is always an ending point when we can remake out selves and renew our sensibility.

Hopefully that will not take 7 years.

Reflection: Perception is Reality

ImageI have been (for lack of a better term) gun shy.

There has been much reflection going on in the last few weeks. I have questioned who I am and my place in this world. I have also taken myself to the brink of just quitting all of this. It comes down to one thing that was said to me along time ago, perception is reality.

When it comes down to it, this is generally my fault. Life has a way of dropping you down a few pegs when things get out of hand. But essentially I made an error in judgment a few weeks ago that effected a community of people. While I cannot take back what I did back, I can only reflect, learn, and grow from such a mistake.

I have been referred to as many things. What seems to come up the most is misogynist and elitist. I have spent most of these past few weeks thinking about this. I have consulted with those who know me. I believe that my actions were dumb and came from a place of anger and emotion. It would have been best to say nothing at all and just let things be. I truly regret that blog post but alas, sometimes apologies are not accepted.

Does that make me a misogynist? Am I an elitist? This is something that weights on me. These are not words that are to be taken lightly. Perhaps my actions from that one blog post makes it seem that way, but does that take away from who I am? Does that wipe away 4 years of work? I do not consider myself as a misogynist. But then, a racist doesn’t consider himself racist so my opinion on that matter mean very little in that grand scheme.

I understand my privilege as a man affords me access to things that are not readily accessible to women. I get that I use male pronouns, I get that I love hip hop (which can be the epitome of misogyny), and I also get and understand that I cannot speak for the plight and struggles of women.

I also know that I bear no hatred for women. I love women and everything about them. They can do things men cannot do, such as bearing children. Women also think so much differently than a man. A (heterosexual) man tends to only think from A to B, whereas a woman things from A to Z. I admire the women that I consider friends because they make me see the world differently. I am tempted to add more about this, but then I am reminded about the “one black friend” arguments that white people seem to make when being called racist.

Being called an elitist is particularly disturbing because I truly feel I am better than no one. I am someone who is always humbled by recognition. I have always felt that my work is not good enough. I strive to improve myself every day. I do not have a higher social status than anyone else. I do not believe that society should be ruled by an elite class of people.

I will admit that I have met many of my goals over the past year and perhaps there is a perception that “I got it like that”, but the reality is that no one really know what is happening behind closed doors. While it is true that I show people portions of my life that I wish them to see, I think that taking a vast look at my work and what I have written is an indication of my views on life.

I think it is time that I do not let an error of judgment define me but rather learn from my mistake so that I do not make them again.

Lessons Learned 3.0

I have done this list 2 times before in other versions of what was once a blog of mine. I decided to do this again. Every Year we should be looking back at some events in our lives to see what we learn from going into the next year. Some of this is parody and some it of is not. So here are the lessons I have learned:

Gmail is awesome… is blogging
Poetry is spontaneous, always carry a pen & paper
People do not get married to get a divorce
Micheal Jackson is irreplaceable
Driving from Florida to Syracuse is one day is possible
Virginia Highways suck…
…Pennsylvania is worse
Giving up soda is a big reason for the weight loss
Running is the most cathartic exercise
It is indeed possible to work 24 hours straight
People lie to themselves all the time
Mi Tia is every but as funny as my dad
Water is the drink from heaven
Syracuse cold toughens you up for any other NY cold there is
LATISM is a force to deal with
Forgive yourself first people, before you forgive others
Lady Gaga is for real
Muse is an awesome band
Alicia Keys…that is all.
Women are ruthless
Men are stupid
Love is complicated
Some people cant take a hint
Starbucks is $5 crack with non fat milk
The iPhone is best phone ever (hush to the BBM users)
I need a Mac
Everything happens for a reason
I miss NYC
The truth will always come out
Every story has 3 versions
Anything is possible
I need to write a book
Twitter saved my life…
Karma is a bitch