Hanging Upside Down – Page 3

Ant-Man and the Hombre Pequeño

This is not a review of Ant-Man. Let’s get that out of the way so you know that very few thing in this article contains spoilers. However, I need for you to be on the same page with me so I’m going to assume you’ve either seen it or you don’t care about things being slightly spoiled for you.

I want to go on record by saying that Ant-Man gets a B+ because it has all the elements of a typical fun loving super hero movie that you can expect from Marvel. But again, this is not a review of Ant-Man. But what do we really come to expect from a Marvel movie? A fast paced movie, humor, poorly written women characters, mid credit scenes, black side kicks, end of credit scenes, and a Stan Lee appearance. Right?

So let’s add something to the list, Latino coonery. I mean let’s be real about this. People of color have been relegated to side kick roles in all of Marvel’s films thus far. We all know who they are: Nick Fury, Iron Patriot, Falcon, and Hiemdall. None of these are black women, in fact, are there any black women in the Marvel Cinematic universe? Don’t say Storm because that is not the same “universe” we are talking about. Before you wrack your brain and say Zoe Saldana (who is Afro-Latino) understand that she is not portrayed as a woman of color in Guardians of the Galaxy but as an Alien woman which is the a big difference (just like Lupita in Star Wars, who you wont really see) because Gamora is no Amanda Waller.

So now that you know what to expect and what’s been added to the list, lets talk about Ant-Man. Scott Lang is a former criminal looking to change his ways so I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that out of his three “friends”, one is Latino and the other is T.I.. Please understand that when I saw that Michael Peña was in this movie, it was sort of big deal because I love this guy. He’s one of those actors that I feel needs more roles especially after seeing his performance in Crash. His character, Luis (which is kinda messed up since that is the name of the protagonist in my book, Hanging Upside Down – shameless plug), is supposed be the muscle of the group from what I gather. But he comes across as a hipster like gang-banger that sounds like Joey from Friends in SAP.

There is no question that he plays this role well. He is indeed funny but, I believe the dotted line between being laughed with and laughed at was crossed. I call it Latino coonery because it was just too much yapping younahwatIissayin? Luis was so just so extra in his words and verbal expressions that I cringed at certain parts. The same exact jokes could have been done without the need to make the only prominent Latino person in the film seem so ridiculous. Yes, it is a good thing that he does have a prominent speaking role and is very useful in his relegated side kick role but he is no where near Cisco from The Flash who is intelligent, witty, in addition to being funny.

What is really strange is the very few people have mentioned this about the film. I know some pretty opinionated people who gloss over this fact and that is alarming to me. I’m hoping that we’re not getting so comfortable seeing these big superhero films that we forget to be socially aware when it comes to pandering, cultural appropriations, and coonish portrayals of people of color in mainstream film.

So if you do see Ant-Man for the first or second time, take notice to what I’m saying. We should expect better from films we freely give our money to. While it is great to see Luis in this film he ends being much smaller than the hero.

my life

Fighting the Network of Distraction

Distractions play a big part in my life. They keep me from doing the things that I need to do which is why I avoid them the best way I can. This is the only way I’m ever going to finish book two.

The other night I was asked how I stay focused. I will admit, It takes practice. The thing is, I know exactly what can distract me enough to take away my focus. My goal is to write everyday so I can get into that zone. My zone is when everything clicks and it gets to the point where the only thing I’m doing is typing and words appear on the screen almost as if my mind has direct access to the page. This is when I become in touch with myself.

What’s really difficult is the events happening around me. The news, Twitter, Facebook, Netflix, family, and friends all play a role in this network of distractions. This doesn’t mean that I don’t welcome it but some distractions are worse than others. I can still continue to write in all those cases. I’ve been known to write with the television on or with company over but the quality of focus goes down.

However, they’re are times when having that television on or texting that friend does help in the process. Just because I haven’t written a blog about the 9 people murdered in a church in South Carolina doesn’t mean I’m not feeling it. Things like this just serve as a reminder to me why I must continue to do what I do. Talking to friends and fellow writers has also helped me remember certain themes in the book that I’m trying to maintain.

I really feel that I need to be writing always and I’ve trained myself to continue the process by giving myself soft and hard deadlines. My first book, Hanging Upside Down, gave me the awareness I need to write a novel but it many ways I had no clue what I was doing. Writing book two has given me the ability to train myself to write when I want to. What that means is that, when I was younger, I would write when the mood hit me but now I’m dictating that mood and making those sudden spurts of inspiration last over a longer amount of time.

The thing about distractions is that they can feed into any type of writer’s block I may have.The best way I’ve counteracted this is by reading, which is not a distraction but a part of being a writer. I wont get into any of the new Netflix shows or play video games until I’m satisfied with my process with this first draft.

Novel, writing

Story Endings = Easier Beginnings. #amwriting

Today may be my day off but I’m actually working on this book. I feel that I need an extra edge by giving myself time specifically to write. At this point, I’m only writing between times in my life where I can sit down and concentrate and believe it or not, it isn’t very often.

Someone asked me the other day if it’s easier to write a book since I’ve already done it. While I don’t remember my exact answer, with the benefit of time to think about it, I can say that it’s definitely not easier (at least, not yet). My motivation for book two is not the same as Hanging Upside Down. With my first book, I had a feeling that I needed to get the story out of me so there were nights that whole chapters were being poured out into those pages. With book two, its different because I feel more strategic. I know that I want to get this book done by the end of the year so that edits can start. Then if edits start by a particular time then I can pick a release date. I never had to really worry about these things with the first book because I was learning as I was going.

In any case, my projected day has always been 2016. I don’t know when because without the first draft being done, everything is pretty much up in the air. The one thing for sure is that I’ve kept pushing myself to get this done. A week off will go a long way to making sure that I meet my goals. Sure, it is vacation from my full time job, but in many ways I still have to work. I still need to put in the time to make this work for me.

Today I decided to do something different. I’m writing the ending of book two because I need to lay out my end point. I need to remind myself that they’re plot lines that need to be wrapped up and I also need to set myself up for book three. Just like the last time I wrote a book, I knew how it was going to end. This time around, I just decided to write it out.

The other thing that makes book two a little tougher for me is the way I’m writing it. I want the reader to have a particular experience with this book and requires me to write this story in a way that I’m not used to. In addition to that, I’ve not been writing the book linearly as you may have noticed with my writing of the ending now.

I can’t really explain why I’m writing this way. I can only say that “easier” is relative. But since every story has an ending, this should help with my beginning.

my life

41

I’ve been on a mission. I’ve been driven to prove to myself that my fourth decade of existence will be better the past three. I truly believe that life should get better the older we get. I also believe that every new goal that is set should mean more than the last.

Maybe its because I’m getting older and I view life just a little differently than I did when I was younger. In any case, I want to be able to see new sites and do things that I’ve never done before (within reason…I’m not jumping out of a plane). I would like to spend more time with people who matter to me.

I also feel that when you get to point in life, second chances to do things just seem to pop up. Dead relationships come back to life and (more often then not) old relationship come to an inevitable end. Second careers are born during this time and as I look further down the road, I truly do not know what to expect. The goal remains the same: continuous writing. From there, I will see what happens.

Right now, I’m just grateful for family and friends. I love the fact that when I go somewhere with people who know me, they tell me to keep writing. I love that.

Today, I received a great gift, a reminder to never stop what I’m doing. I ran into former colleagues from Syracuse University that I haven’t seen in a long time. We connected and bonded over current success. During the conversation it was pointed out to me that despite their busy work they found time to buy my book. These are people I haven’t seen in at least 5 years. I needed that…the universe knew I need to hear that. Despite any of my struggles, there are people out there rooting for me.

That was just as good as any gift I will get today.

my life, Novel

Its all about #booktwo

I always start out any of my life stories with “my life is never dull.” There’s nothing about this statement that a lie, which is why its hard to have time to sit down and hash out a blog post. Although, if you’ve been paying attention, I did drop my eleventh Huffington Post Article last week. All this to say that my free time, when I do have it, has been focused on my second novel.

At this point, I’m about 114 pages in and still working out all the minor details. Of course, I know how it ends so its just part of my literary journey to get there. I feel good about what I’ve written so far and I will be honest, I cannot wait to share it with people.

Just like the last time I went through this process, I’m starting to think about the next book. I’m thinking about ways to set myself up for book 3. Part of the reason for this is that it gives me the drive to keep going. I want to get to a point where all I do is just write books if I can continue to be inspired to do so. A large part of me feels that if I can continue to tell parts of stories, I will want to finish them or connect them in a later volume.

But for now, it is all about #booktwo. I’ve been really gearing myself up to do this with the right hashtag to let people know there are things that I’m doing which is related to this book. My inspiration comes from all around and there are times when an idea will hit me and I have to drop what I’m doing so I can write it down.

So what is #booktwo about? This novel is an extension of Hanging Upside Down with some of the major players from that book with in addition to some new characters. The main plot is centered around a book Louis wrote called, The Book Of Isabel that he shares with a very sick friend of his. I invite the reader to read the book along side his friend so they what she sees. However, before you think about how #booktwo is a prequel, there will be times when I will bring the reader to the present causing a shift between prequel to sequel.

I think it is a pretty bold move on my part to write a story this way but I intend on sticking with the main theme which is friendship. We all have friends that we we gain and lose. Sometimes we gain an unexpected friend and at times we lose a friend we never expected to. Life plays out in very strange ways and I plan on drawing our concepts of friendship (as well as relationships) that are difficult to handle for Louis.

Sure, I will be drawing a lot of this from personal experience but I think that the true fictional narrative will show. If you read the first book then you will see some of the same characters that you’ve come to expect and some new ones that will make you question the reason why Louis trusts anyone at all. I have some surprise that will lead into the third book.

Yes. There will be a third book in this “series.” Please understand, I never intended on this to be trilogy or even a series of books. I really was going to just drop this whole thing after #booktwo but I think that I have enough material to make a third book, which I think will be outrageous. But after that, I think I can move on to my other plans for other stories with in this “universe” that does not involve the exploits of Louis Ortiz.

I think by the time I even get to book four (which I kinda know what it will be about) I will have a myriad of characters to play with as I see fit. So with that being said, I’m back to the keyboard in hopes that #booktwo will be out sometime next year.

my life, Novel, writing

Competing with Myself

I’m not sure what it is but I’ve been feeling different lately. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve finally become comfortable with my life. Maybe I can finally see the framework of all the hard work I’ve done. Perhaps it’s a sign that I’m just getting older and all the bullshit that I wasn’t used to in my thirties I’ve, now, finally gotten accustomed to. No matter what it is, I feel that I have gotten into a positive pattern in my life that is more that just a mood.

There was a time in my life where I used to talk about why are things happening to me. I would complain about it actually. I would make these wilds accusations about how life sucks because my luck was bad. Then I realized that my bad luck has to do with lack of preparation. I also realized that I was competing with people that I know. This is not something that I openly admitted and it wasn’t something born from jealousy. It was a bit of a barometer I had in the back of my mind. Sure, bad things happen but lack of confidence and lack of true life skills combine to kick anyone’s ass if they are not prepared for it.

In my younger days I felt like I was on the defensive too much. I let things happen instead of making them happen. That was one of many lessons I learned from my divorce. Generally most men will talk about their divorce as if shit just happened without realizing that a bad marriage is like dead plant…you let it die. That was me, while I made somethings happen in my life, I was more content on watching everything else.

At some point I just got tired of that. I got tired of talking and complaining instead of just doing. I realized that by making that adjustment from letting things happen to making things happen that the bad luck I was complaining about started to change. I found myself being more prepared to deal with life. With every misfortune I parried, came many openings of opportunity that involved risk.

Now, I find myself in a Superman 3 moment where I am battling myself. The version of me that is more responsible for his actions vs the callous and less responsible me I was just a few years ago. There are things I ‘m doing to correct past mistakes and to right some wrongs. I can’t fix everything but I can try to do things better.

I’m also competing with myself creatively and professionally. I was good at my job in Syracuse so it was an adjustment to start fresh at Barnard. I’m trying to be as good as I was and, in many ways, I am better because I’m doing things I’ve never done before. But then I think about book two and how I’m going to be able to surpass myself. Hanging Upside Down is an ambitious venture for me that I’m still working on from a marketing stand point. The thing about Book two will be how different it is from my first novel. I’m trying to out do myself and it’s a bit of a challenge.

With time I’ve grown to see my duality and be comfortable with it. The only way I can be a successful as I want to be is to be better than I was. No other competition matters.

Novel, writing

Paperback Dreams

I would like to think that when one becomes a writer, there are certain goals that is held in higher regard than others. Obviously the first goals are to start and finish a book but what comes after that? I suppose getting a copy on sale would be the next logical step so in this age of digital literacy having my novel being sold on Amazon or on E-book is not that hard.

However, being that I self published Hanging Upside Down and it is indeed my first time, not everything has come easy. I’ve done most of the work myself when it comes to the selling and distribution of this book. There were bound to be missteps along the way but with every mistake came an understanding of the process which ultimately led to a greater success.

Since the book launched in October, I’ve had a series of successes like book signings, book readings, interviews, and great reviews. Through out all this, I felt that there was something missing. I didn’t feel that I was quite where I wanted to be yet.

It’s hard to explain but since the book launch anyone that wants to purchase the paperback version of my novel only has a few choices. There is Amazon, La Casa Azul Bookstore (if you live in NYC), or emailing me directly for a signed copy. The one thing that I wanted from the beginning was for Hanging Upside Down to be sold at Barnes & Noble. That is the dream.

I know that Barnes & Noble represents many things depending on who you are. During the 90’s people can blame them for putting many of the small novelty books stores out of business. Its not hard to see how a movie like You Got Mail gets it’s basic story premiss from this. I’ve come to know this store as I’ve grown more mature. It’s a place to go to and spend hours perusing their shelves or maybe perhaps have some coffee and read a magazine. In my world, this was the place to have your book sold.

As I said, with this being my first publication mistakes were made. In the rush of trying to get this book out on time, I misread some of directions when it came to publishing options. I missed one little check box and my entire dream of having Barnes and Noble sell my novel was put on hold. Of course, I had to settle for selling the novel on their e-reader called the Nook. At the very least, I could say that I was on the B&N Website.

A few weeks ago, I noticed my error after talking to a friend who just put out her cookbook. I noticed that she was already on the B&N website and I immediately knew I did something wrong. So this time I went back and corrected a mistake I made with some distribution items and guess what? A few days ago the paperback is now available on the B&N website!

But what does that mean exactly? The novel is not exactly in the stores, however, if someone were to ask for it at the desk, they can now order it and have it in the store in a few days. What makes this HUGE is that any bookstore can order my novel now. So this makes my job easier when people want to know how to purchase a copy.

I mean, let’s face it, I may not be burning up the sales charts but I am opening up more options. At the end of the day, the novel will be out there which paves the way for book two.

my life, Novel, poetry, writing

Fear of the Mic

Busy is four letter word. Its almost vulgar when I use it because it describes so many things that are going on in one word. Saying “I’m busy” can sound rude but it will always explain why I don’t call or write. Yet, after awhile I hate using this phrase because I think that eventually it becomes a cop out. However, I have been able to do a few things here and there that has made me think about my role as writer/author.

It shouldn’t be too much of a secret that I do not really consider myself a poet. I believe that history will show that I’m more of a fiction novelist. Poems were something that I wrote to get through some tough times in my life and it turns out I wrote more than a hundred of them. I go back in forth, in my head, about want to do about this. Do I publish them or just keep them where they are (which is buried in various blog sites)?

I personally don’t believe they are very good. Well, maybe a small number of poems are decent, but I am certainly no Willie Perdomo. Yet, the way I feel about this did not stop me from reciting one of my poems during a open mic night a few weeks ago (I prefer the word recite instead perform because performance poetry is above my pay grade, but I digress). I can blame it on the energy of the other true poets doing their thing that night but the real reason is that, in my heart, I need to learn to love the mic.

Sure, I can speak publicly. I’ve done it enough times to be used to it. I’ve done enough trainings with hundreds of students in a room, I’ve been a keynote speaker twice, I’ve moderated many panel discussions, and yet the intimidation of reading something I’ve written is real. Even when I did the book signing/reading at La Cas Azul Bookstore of Hanging Upside Down last year I felt so anxious. What if I fumble my words? What if I sound like a complete idiot?

This is when I know the fear has gotten a hold of me. With my poetry it is two fold considering that I don’t consider myself a poet. But, I did go out there that night and recited Blacktino. The feedback was positive and while I messed up just a little, I think I can do this again. The real problem is that its way too easy to decline an invitation or to simply claim that I’m too busy to go to open mic nights. Even if being too busy is true (and most times it is) I know that I have to get behind that mic.

It does feel good to share my creation, particular in poetic form. If you read the right poem with the right inflections, the room becomes yours. Maybe the real fear isn’t just the mic itself nor the the audience. Perhaps the real fear is the ability to let myself go on the stage. Is the fear there because I don’t know how to let go or is it because of the possibility that if I do learn to let myself go I may love it way too much.

So, is this what Rakim was talking about about when he says, to me M.C. means move the crowd? That’s a question you should ask yourself, Megatron. 🙂

music, Novel

Hanging Upside Down: The Music

Music is very prevalent in Hanging Upside Down. While it’s difficult to convey to the reader the type of musical feel you want for a novel, I would like to think that I captured the feeling of Louis through the types of music he happens to listen to as the story goes on.

I didn’t go into this the book thinking that I needed to have a soundtrack. In fact, there are parts of the book that were originally written without it. However, it was during the editing and drafting phases that I decided to add music as another layer to the story. I wanted to have something happening in the background. I’m a believer that many things are always happening in the background a story that may not seem relevant at first glance but in upon further thought makes total sense.

So here is a list of songs that appear in the book. If by some act of God there is a movie to come from this story these would be that basis of a soundtrack. Songs with the asterisk weren’t described in detail in the book but since there are scenes in the book that do have music these songs would accompany them. Also, this is the relative order the songs occur in the novel.

Award Tour – A Tribe Called Quest*
Las Cosas Pequeñas – Prince Royce*
Adicto A Tu Piel – Frankie Negrón*
Vivir Mi Vida – Marc Anthony
Hell Of A Life – Kanye West*
Beat it – Michael Jackson
No Le Pege A La Negra – El Gran Combo*
Started from the Bottom – Drake*
Partition – Beyoncé*
Twice My Age – Shabba Ranks & Krystal
You Dont Love Me (No, No, No) – Dawn Penn
Picadillo – Cal Tjader and Eddie Palmieri
El Cuarto De Tula – Buena Vista Social Club
N.Y. State Of Mind – Nas
Brand New Me – Alicia Keys*
Get Lucky – Daft Punk/Pharrell Williams

I’m smiling because these songs help tell the story. I played each one of these as I added them to this list and I must say that if this was really made available to purchase, I would be down to get it. All of them have certain meaning and while not all the songs listed appear exactly in the text, if you were to play these after reading the novel, you will see that they fit.

The one thing that makes me proud is that my intention was to show that despite what is happening in his life, I wanted the reader to know that Louis is very much a Latino who had a love for different types of music. I did think about going a little overboard to show how much of a geek he was by listening to Star Wars soundtracks but it just didn’t fit with the flow of the novel.

As I write the second novel, I have already taken into account how important music is to the characters I’m trying to portray. I would only assume from here on out everything I write with have it’s own soundtrack.

Novel, writing

The Filler

I’m stuck with a dilemma again. I wouldn’t call it writer’s block but more of writer’s indecision. This is when I’m not entirely certain where I want to go with the book I’m currently working on. I find myself creating numerous story arcs that make it hard to fill gaps between them.

The beginning is already written. I started out book two just as well as I wanted to. I also know how I’m going to end the book. Because this is a combination a prequel and sequel to Hanging Upside Down, I know exactly how I’m going to bridge the gap between stories while advancing an original plot line.

The problem becomes the middle of the book, the filler, if you will. There are so many stories to tell in this book that it’s a bit overwhelming in the way I want to tell it. While my first novel was a straight line from beginning to end, book two is more circular. I also have a definite antagonist. It’s a character that I really want people to loathe and I’m starting to realize the difficulty in writing a good villain. Sure, there are several people that could be considered villains in Hanging Upside Down, but I’m putting all my effort into creating just one.

Because of my indecisiveness, I took a new approach to this. I find myself writing the stories I want to tell in a short story format with all characters involved in the main plot. I find it particularly helpful because it allows me to get all the filler down on “paper” without getting bogged down with little details that connects it all. This will also allow me to have the story take me where I need it to. I don’t always know exactly where a story will take me until I’m writing it. This is why the beginning and ending are so easy for me because in my mind, I’m already there.

I also want to do a few things differently. I can’t sit here and say that I know the formula on writing books, but I would like to think that if it were an easy thing to do, everyone would be doing it. I don’t want to write the same way twice so I’m improving on a little things to create a better product. This will allow me to feel much more comfortable with my writing style to a point that perhaps I can find a groove and come out with books often. While, I think that works for many authors who spit out books every year, I’m not sure I’ve found my niche yet.

The challenge will be to make it all flow. I’m a person who believes that a reader values the flow of a book. That flow is the difference between lost interest and a page turner. Using the term “filler” may not sound all that appealing. It’s like watching filler episodes of The Walking Dead for example. Sure those episodes are good for character development but sometimes it can be a stretch to see how they fit in the overall story arc. No one wants to read something and think “this was just put in there to take up space.” That’s the last thing I want to do because the more pages, the more it will cost in printing.

My goal is to get this book to about 300+ pages of flowing material. Right now, I got about 50 or so workable pages. I have a lot of work ahead of me.