latinegro

LBC Day 3 – Favorite Food

I had a conversation the other day with a fellow blogger and she stated to me that she thought my favorite food was Chuleta (Pork Chops) and I laughed because that so for from the truth. She had good reasoning too because if you follow me on Twitter you will know that when I get into my cooking sprees, I usually have chuleta with arroz con maiz (rice with corn). But, the one thing that I just love that seems to go with any Latino meal is Platano Maduros (sweet plantains).

Lord help me if maduros were ever to leave this world I do not know if i can find the same pleasure in life. Food means that much to me because I really feel it is the essence of our culture. I also feel that cooking is the one thing that I can do correctly. My dad taught me a lot of fundamentals of cooking and I figure that if I cannot speak the language the right way then perhaps I can get the food correct and pass that to any children I may have.

The reason I love maduros so much is the sweet taste and the rugged texture. The savory flavor is a welcome addition to any meal. With that said, there are meals that are bases around maduros that I have not mastered. There is a dish called pastalone or piñon. These dishes are to die for. I know as a kid someone made this and I am not sure who, but, my ex-wife’s grandmother made this one day and I have not been the same since. I would compare this to a lasagna or a meat pie if you can imagine that. My ex wife has made a low fat version of this using turkey which is just as good.

I am not exactly sure when I fell in love with maduros because I know that I rarely had them when I was a kid. However, when I was living with my dad during my high school years, he used to make them frequently enough. My step mother would yell at me because I would eat so many of them and leave her with very little or nothing at all! (I am literally laughing as I write this…)

There was one thing that my dad used to do with maduros that would just make my entire night was that he would bake them. He would would wait until the platanos were ripe enough and peel them. Then he would take a knife a cut a slit right down the middle and add cheese….wow. I do not know what kind of cheese though and I know it wasn’t sliced cheese either. I may have to ask him when I am done writing this what cheese he used. Anyway, I think that is when I fell in love with platanos maduros.

I make them as often as I can and now after writing this I am hungry…

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 2 – What Latin American Country I Would Love To Go To.

It is not like I have traveled as much as I would like to. I feel as I have gotten older, the need to go and see other places in the world seems to grow. It would also makes sense to do it now while I still can. I have considered myself to be just Puerto Rican for such a long time because my mother’s side of the family seemed to dominate the amount of time spent around me. So, it was easy to forget or ignore the part of my family that is from Ecuador.

My dad is half Ecuadorian and since my grandfather is not viewed in a positive light, there haven’t many opportunities for me to celebrate that side of my heritage. So it really wasn’t until my father started dating my step mother that I really began to see anything to do with Ecuador. My step mother is Ecuadorian and I have learned so much from her about this country. I have heard the music and at first I was like…”what the hell is this?” But, as I kept hearing it, it began to grow on me. Of course, she only played it when she was cleaning but that is not the point. The food…well, I love food and she makes this ceviche that would make crack seem like a small piece of chocolate.

I will admit that I had no desire to go there when I was a teenager but as I have grown older, I have felt a slight pull to Ecuador. I am very curious about that part of my ancestry and would love to see where this leads. The last time I was in NYC to visit my aunt, she pulled out this picture of my great grandfather and he looked so much like my dad! So this lead to a very long and deep discussion on a possible family tree. But, I feel, in order for me to start that, I need to plan a trip to Ecuador.

I have a few friends who are from Ecuador and they tell me that is a gorgeous place. The only problem for me is that I do not even know where to start. My step mother hasn’t been there in quite a while (other wise I would have to sneak on the plane with her) so I need to figure out where the best place is to visit.

Of course, I could start with Quito (the capital), but something tells me that I will get so lost in the shuffle. I should probably mention that I need to go with someone. No way am I going to Ecuador alone! Let me not mention that my Spanish is purely for food, medical, and bathrooms. Needless to say I will need to make sure that I can navigate this place with someone.

I have seen pictures and I heard stories from people who have been and I hoping that I get the same feeling I get when I went to Puerto Rico, which was a feeling that I belonged. Clearly, I am an American, but I felt so different because it was like everyone was close to my complexion so it felt great to me! So, I am not sure what to expect in Ecuador but I am hoping that this will be like a second homecoming.

30 Day Challenge, Latino Heritage Month

LBC Day 1 – What I Love Most About Being Latino

I had to think about this one for awhile. There are so many things that I love about being Latino. I can go into things like culture, or food, or music but that, to me, just does not cover all of it exactly. My assessment about life has always been based on feeling. My overall feeling about being Latino is that we all seem to embody our culture and our lifestyle and I love it.

The funny thing is that when I was living in the Bronx as a kid, the people in the neighborhood were mostly Puerto Rican. So in many cases, the sense of being unique is lost because everyone is sort of doing the same thing. It was no big deal to listen to salsa all day and all night on a Saturday while the adults drink beer as the food was cooking. It was normal to me to have rice and beans every day. So when I left that element to go to college, I began to see the richness of my culture and realized that I have the ability to embody my culture.

It is a pride thing. We know that our culture is rich. We know that our people look good. And we know this so well that you can feel it when we dance. You can taste it in the love we put in our foods we cook. You hear it with every roll of the r when we speak our language. We embody our culture.

I love the fact that I can walk through the Schine Student Center at Syracuse University and see Latino student in the Atrium where there are information tables on their various organizations. Everything is all social and when someone plays salsa, merengue, or bachata then we all get to really see the culture come alive! I noticed that all the students I know embody their culture in such obvious ways. I makes me feel that I am still in the Bronx at a block party.

So when I talk about the embodying nature that each one of us has it is like the sum of the whole. Latinos come in different shades and from different countries and yet we are a part of this mass of people called “Hispanic”. I think that because we are are so definable by language and yet so undefinable by appearance that out culture manages to live through us.

Latino Heritage Month

The 30 Day Latino Blog Challenge

The 30 Day Latino Blog Challenge. 30 days, 30 blogs, 1 message to celebrate Latino Heritage Month. I challenge myself and any Latino blogger to write everyday for the next 30 days. The rules are simple. The blog must be at least 2 paragraphs on the selected topic, although there are 2 entries for poetry. The blog can be written in anyway chosen.

Latino/Hispanic Heritage Month is from September 15 – October 15. So this challenge will begin tomorrow. I am a strict person with my writing so I will be writing everyday until this is over. I will also say that the 2 poems will appear on my Poetry Page. Good Luck to all who try this, if not…happy reading.

Day 1 – What I love most about being Latino
Day 2 – What Latin American Country/Island I would love to go to.
Day 3 – Favorite Spanish food
Day 4 – What Latino Blog I recommend
Day 5 – A story about growing up Latino
Day 6 – A Poem (original or quoted)
Day 7 – Post a picture about your culture and explain its significance
Day 8 – Latino Racism
Day 9 – Talk about Music related to your culture
Day 10 – Talk about a Latino Musician in pop music

Day 11 – Latinos in the Media
Day 12 – Do I speak Spanish?
Day 13 – Afro Latinos you see everyday
Day 14 – Favorite Latino Musician
Day 15 – Latinos in Movies
Day 16 – What Do I know about indigenous culture (i.e.Tainos)
Day 17 – Why I love Latinas (or Latino Men)
Day 18 – Latino Art
Day 19 – Religion
Day 20 – Latino Stereotypes I wish I could change

Day 21 – What Latin American Country/Island I have been to.
Day 22 – Do you consider yourself more Latino than American?
Day 23 – Hispanic or Latino..What do you prefer?
Day 24 – Should Puerto Rico be a State?
Day 25 – Post a picture about your familia and explain its significance
Day 26 – Favorite Latino Actor or Actress
Day 27 – Favorite Latino Author
Day 28 – Family Ancestry
Day 29 – Latino Politics – What affects you?
Day 30 – What I learned in the last 30 days..

Latino Heritage Month, The Printed Blog, writing

Some Ground Rules..

On the eve of Latino Heritage Month I wanted to lay out how things will go on this blog. With my recent partnership with the Printed Blog, I need to tell you that this big ass button on the right —————-> indicates that if you really like what I have written, then please place your vote for me. What this does is give me a chance to be featured in print. I have viewed this publication and I think this is a great thing to be a part of and I am really honored to be a part of it.

The next thing that I need to talk about is that I am working on a 30 Day Latino Blog Challenge. I am still developing it and will unveil it tomorrow. This is a challenge to me and to anyone out there who wants to really try to raise the bar higher when it comes to Latino Heritage Month. One of the things I really love to do is challenge myself so I am coming up with 30 topics.

This is not as easy as it seems. I honestly thought I was going to just coast through this. But I have spent about a week on this so far and I have to say that this should be very interesting for me because some of these things I do not normally talk about. But, I am all about personal exploration and cultural awareness. I plan on challenging myself creatively and intellectually.

When it comes down to it, I know that other blogs will highlight the obvious and same people and topics. I want to go a little broader and deeper. Quite frankly, I want to get personal, since that is what I am all about because my writing is personal. I take the time to share with all of you how I feel and how I live my life. So I owe it to myself to step out of my box.

9/11, reflections, religion

9/11 Reflections on Xenophobia

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Today is has been all about reflection. I debated about writing about this day. I have already done it several times and, of course, I will never forget. But, the one thing I do not want to do is talk about this day over and over every year. I think we need to focus on lessons learned so that hopefully this will not happen again. However, on the 9th anniversary of 9/11, I feel that we are increasingly surrounded by ignorance.

There is so much animosity over this Mosque at ground zero. The people who are crying foul about this whole thing believe that it is disrespectful to what has happened and that quite possibly there is some ulterior motive in the long run. Of all of this just fans the flames of the man, Reverend Terry Jones, who originally wanted to burn the Qur’an because “Islam is a evil”.

This becomes a case where people do not know their history. So let’s set the record straight on a lot of things. I am, by definition, a Catholic and I have been recovering for some time now. But, I do know a few things about Christianity when it comes to violence and killing under the name of Jesus. I could use several examples on this. We can talk about how settlers of the United States felt that the indigenous people were too savage and either need Jesus or needed to die. Perhaps we can talk about slavery and how many of the slave owners used religion to oppress slaves in order to get rid of their heathen beliefs brought from Africa. However, I think the best example is the Jewish Holocaust under the hands of Nazi Germany. After all, Hitler was a devout Christian who was simply was killing Jews under the name of God (He used to also sanction the burning of books…hello Reverend).

Do the action of many people in the history of the world who used Jesus to kill others mean the Christianity and all its forms are evil? Clearly not so much. What people also do not seem to understand that Qur’an is like the next installment of the Torah and the Gospel. Muslims believe that everything in the first two testaments with the exception that Mohammed is their messiah. So if you think about it, we all believe in the same God.

Now, I will not lie and say that seeing a Arab on a plane does not scare me a little because it has. I was on a flight to California a few years ago and an guy whom I thought could have been Arab (he could have been Indian too) was sitting next to me. I remembered feeling shamed that I was hoping that he was not going to do anything that may result in my death. It sounds so messed up but we all see the images on TV and they do have an effect on the psyche.

It is those types of images that scared people after the attack of Pearl Harbor on December 7th 1941. The xenophobia was at an all time high that many Japanese Americans were detained in internment camps. This type of fear and hatred is still possible in this country and the fact that Islamic Americans cannot even build a mosque near ground zero is a bad sign.

It is my hope that 9/11 does not stand for a day when we become more divided on issues of Religion because there were Islamic Americans who died in those buildings that day as well. Our movement to a global society gets hindered when people simply do not understand each other.

African Americans, Afro Latino, Latino Heritage Month

Is She Really Black?/De verdad es morena?

The issue of skin color has become so personal to me. It isnt just a indication of beauty. I am attracted to a diverse pool of women and I know I am attracted to one type of woman over another. However, I feel the measure of a woman always comes down to attitude and personality. When it comes to skin tone, I believe it is all connected to ancestry.

Keeping that in mind, I read this article on Clutch. I will need you to read this before you can go past this particular paragraph. I have written about skin color in the past before and I feel that this will be the perfect prelude to Latino Heritage Month that starts next week.

Let’s look at the issue here. There seems to a growing need for actresses (and actors too,most likely) of color to choose if they are Black or Latino as if there was some notion that they cannot be both. I am fully aware of my color when I look into the mirror. If I were to get stopped by the cops they are not going to have a debate on whether I am Black or Latino. They will see me for the color I am. The shame in all this is that people in this country (and Latin America too) refuse to see how homogeneous we are all slowly becoming. The more we seem to merge into one color the more that there is a call for distinctiveness.

I am always amazed by the amount of ignorance that is in our culture. Now, let me me identify “our culture.” For the purpose of this argument I will just assume that Latino and Black are one in both the same considering that in most places, like New York City, we all go to the same schools and live in the same neighborhoods. Couple that with the fact that both Latinos and Black come in all shades. I would like think that my readers are all familiar with the “one drop rule“.

Both share many things in common and one of those is a dislike for darker complexions. I wont sugar coat this because it is true. If someone is too dark there are jokes about how hard it would be to see such a person with the lights on…and this is both cultures I am talking about here. I will just mention that my cousins called me “tarbaby” as a kid. So, how can I ignore my skin color?

On the same notion, How can any Black person seriously ask about Zoe Saldana, “Is she even Black?” Really? This type of ignorance is why I have tried my best to talk about Afro Latinos. This not about if I choose to call myself to be Black or Latino. It is about knowing your history. It is knowing about why there are dark people who speak better Spanish than any light skinned Puerto Rican you know. It is about realizing that slaves replaced the Taíno Indians as the workforce because they were slaughtered by the Spaniards, who then mated with the salve thus the birth of Afro Latinos. So do we really need to choose?

But, often times we are left to read very little about Afro Latinos and their place in the world. One would think that Afro Latinos are only suited for Baseball. I do not see anyone asking David Ortiz to choose if he is Black or Latino. At the end of the article the question was asked: In a so-called “post-racial America,” why are we still caught up in the often insignificant nuances of Blackness? Very simple answer…self hate.

We see the what America considers beautiful. The skinny Meghan Fox or Lady Gaga (just using these women as examples) grace the covers of magazines and young girls of any color want to look like them. The images we see of beauty tell many women that being light skinned is the best. It is perfect to have the complexion of a Christina Aguilera and the ass of Jennifer Lopez. Beauty and the definition of it has all been based on a color scale. Some people do not buy into it, but a lot of people don’t.

Self hate also breeds haters. Let’s be real, there are some real haters in this world that will think that Afro-Latinas are trying to replace African American women on this scale. It is bad enough that Black women have to deal with white women and light skinned Latinas in the competition for Black men…how do you think they will feel about Afro Latinas? Truth be told…Afro Latinas suffer from the same issues that African American women have. The pendulum of what is considered beauty in this society hardly swings their way.

I know I have made this mostly about women, but I have often said that I have had problems considering myself as a good looking man based on my dark complexion and no matter how much a women would tell me how cute I am… I simply had trouble believing it.

This it a subject that maybe tiresome to bring up and talk about but, people need to be aware that Afro Latinos should not have to make a choice between two cultures when we simply exist in both.

cooking. single life, my dad, My Goal, my life

Independently Single

When I started on the venture of living alone, I was not sure exactly what to expect. It was with a heavy heart and a almost naive sense that I thought that being single again and living alone would be hard. But, I realize as I head to my ninth year living in Syracuse that it is all mental.

The thing is I had lived alone before and it wasn’t all that hard. But, I was like 25 and I really didn’t know any better. I was living in a basement apartment in the soundview section of The Bronx and thought that it was the greatest point in my life. I had a job and I lived alone. I could come and go as I please and had no one to answer to. The funny thing is I barely remember what I did for food everyday before I started dating. I think I had take out many many nights. Quite simply, I didn’t care. I had like two bills: rent (which was all inclusive) and cable. That was it!

Fast forward a decade and things are so much different. Juggling finances can make anyone crazy with the mortgage, car note, cable/internet, insurance, credit cards and anyone else that I happen to owe money to. I had so much fear that I would not be able to deal with just life in general. I remember sitting in my office, alone, on the verge of tears thinking “how am I going to get out of this?” I thought life cannot be all this hard. Of course it wasn’t. When people say that we all need to take things one day at a time, that is so very true. That is why I feel like this year is going by slower than years past. I have had more time to think and contemplate life.

The funny thing is that being a single man is actually not all that hard. Once I figured myself out and all the things I like and do not like about myself, everything fell into place. It allowed me to set the goals that have gotten me to this point. What I am grateful for is all the things my dad taught me when I was in high school. He was also a single man living in a house and trying to get by. While it may not have seemed that I was not paying attention to him and all the things he did or cooked, I was taking everything in while have that nonchalant teenage attitude.

My dad was the one that taught me how to live life independently. He told me that I should never assume that I would be with any one woman for the rest of my life. How could I argue with that at the time? He was divorcing my mother who was his second wife. So there were lessons on how to clean clothes and cook for myself. He is a Navy man so everything had it’s place and unfortunately I never picked up his neatness.

It was my stepmother (whom my dad was dating by the time I graduated high school) that supplied me with the “women’s touch”on things. Again, it may have seemed that I may not have been paying attention but I was. Nuances like ironing a certain way and shopping for clothes that made sense was something I got from her. Sure this was a long time ago, but when I was in my twenties, I thought I knew everything I could know about life and myself.

While I discovered, after the break up of my first love, that my dad had been right about women and life in general, it isn’t until now that I am able to really fully understand everything. I am fully self sufficient. I do not need a woman to do anything for me. I always felt bad for guys in college who couldn’t do their own laundry. I always wondered how crippling it must be if they were to lose whatever appeal they had that allowed girls to wash their clothes for them.

I can cook anything I set my mind to…which my dad told me that once I start cooking for women that I will never truly be alone (he is so right about that). I laugh because he always had an issue with the way I clean and I will tell you that I hated to do it. Now, I have two roommates and it is all I do. The funny thing is, I do not mind this. I want things in my house cleaned the way I want it to be cleaned. I was just cleaning the stove today before I made some chuletas (pork chops…don’t judge) and I smiled thinking that at one time you could not pay me enough to do this.

Now, as I set my sights to the complete my final goal of getting out of Syracuse, I find that being a single man is not hard at all. I just need to enjoy my independence.

divorce, inception, love, my life, no regrets

Regret vs. Remorse

Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone! – Saito (Inception)

In my last post, I mentioned that I do not have any regret in my life. That is because everything that has happened has happened for a reason. I do not live in the past in order to find solace or answers because my life is what it is. I know that my experience have shaped me into who I am right now. The question that I got yesterday was…do I feel remorseful for all that has gone wrong? Well, yes I do. But, there is a difference between remorse and regret.

If I regretted anything then that would make it very hard to live for the moment and plan goals for the future the way I do. Remorse is more of feeling bad due to a sense of loss. Trust me, I lost a lot. I have lost a marriage and a certain way of life. That itself was so hard to deal with for such a long time but, all things get better with time. It is my opinion that regretting the end of my marriage would mean regretting getting being married.

I am a culmination of my experiences. A total of my decisions made and not made. I cannot think about “what ifs” because there is no point. Of course, there is the fantasizing of what could have been, but many times that may hinder life in the moment. Perhaps it is better to just believe there are millions of parallel earths where anything that could have happened does happen. Which means that the reality that we live in right now is the one we need to deal with.

I do not want to live a life of regret. That would just not be the way to go. We all have peaks and valleys in our experiences. A life without issues would frankly be boring. There is nothing to learn if we did not have stress to overcome. It is ok to remorseful for a loss of a love, a loss of a job, or a loss of a dog (I still think about Rusty and I still, to this day, cry just a little bit…). But regret? Where does that get me?

I love the fact that I have had the experience I have had. I have been in love so many times and have had my heart broken many times. I have lived through the horror of 9/11 first hand. I have survived rolling my car and totaling it. I have seen the beauty of a glorious sunset in places that are not in this country. I have pulled people from a car wreck. I have let people cry in my arms and I have cried in others. How can I regret living a life that allows me to express my emotion through writing?

I am not saying I do not have a heavy heart. I love hard. I just could never love right. I am trying to use every last bit of experience to do things the right way. So, I can love my family the right way, so I can love Rocky the right way, so I can love the next woman the right way, and maybe…just maybe..if I get lucky enough, I can love a child the right way.

See, I cannot regret my past. Everything and everyone has played a critical role in my life to get me where I am today. So that I can love myself and have the courage to go out and get what I want from life. So I do feel remorse for what was, but I cannot let that feeling own me because then that would lead to regret for what could have been.

I am not saying that I need to forget the past but I refuse to let it own me.

“I miss you more than I can bear, but we had our time together. I have to let you go.” – Cobb (Inception)

goals, my life, roommates

I Love it When a Plan Comes Together

Please cue up the 1980’s theme song to the A-Team. I have to tell you that I should treat my life as if it were an event. This way I can plan far ahead and situate all the details in such a way that when it comes down to it, all the pieces come together flawlessly.

Yesterday, the next stage in my plan to conquer my life has been set in motion. My 2nd roommate has arrived and is all moved in. I have already been paid and life is so good right now. I have been trying to get my life back on track financially and it has taken me longer than I has hoped. But, as I have come to learn this summer, things happen when they need to.

The best part about all this to me is the simple fact that both roommates are young adults. Which means they are young enough not to think that life sucks thus they are not stuck in this house and yet old enough to have a job which makes them appreciate a roof over their heads. I believe this works in my favor because I do not have to worry about things in terms of inconsiderate behavior, especially considering that they are both friends. Although, I need to be careful because I am such a night owl that I make wake both of them up with me just fumbling around.

Let me not forget that both of my roommates are like brainac level smart. Which is great when it comes to computer issues and nerdy conversations (which I am ALL about). One thing I did not need is having people that are not interesting live with me. I seemed to get all kinds of people when I posted on Craigslist. So, I am glad for the choices I made.

The plan is coming together. Phase one was to get the roommates in. Phase two is get this divorce final (damn New York State takes their time). Phase three is to get out of Syracuse and back to my hometown of New York City, which means either getting a job or going to grad school full time. Phase four is to get published (and this looks like this may happen sooner than expected).

Of course even the best laid plans do not always come to fruition which is why things seem to take longer for me. I equate it to writing and rewriting drafts. The first one doesn’t seem to come out well thus the second draft comes out better than the first. While I will admit that I may be in my first phase, this is just a small part of a larger plan to get my life to where I want it. In the beginning of the year, I was in a different mind state all together and with patience I am where I am now.

This is why I say that I do not regret my past. I have made choices for the good and the bad and no matter how things may have happened…I am who I am because it. To regret the past would be like regretting who I am as of this moment and I simple will not do that. So I keep my head pointing north and plan for the future.

P.S. I still live in the moment….