I Love it When a Plan Comes Together

Please cue up the 1980’s theme song to the A-Team. I have to tell you that I should treat my life as if it were an event. This way I can plan far ahead and situate all the details in such a way that when it comes down to it, all the pieces come together flawlessly.

Yesterday, the next stage in my plan to conquer my life has been set in motion. My 2nd roommate has arrived and is all moved in. I have already been paid and life is so good right now. I have been trying to get my life back on track financially and it has taken me longer than I has hoped. But, as I have come to learn this summer, things happen when they need to.

The best part about all this to me is the simple fact that both roommates are young adults. Which means they are young enough not to think that life sucks thus they are not stuck in this house and yet old enough to have a job which makes them appreciate a roof over their heads. I believe this works in my favor because I do not have to worry about things in terms of inconsiderate behavior, especially considering that they are both friends. Although, I need to be careful because I am such a night owl that I make wake both of them up with me just fumbling around.

Let me not forget that both of my roommates are like brainac level smart. Which is great when it comes to computer issues and nerdy conversations (which I am ALL about). One thing I did not need is having people that are not interesting live with me. I seemed to get all kinds of people when I posted on Craigslist.  So, I am glad for the choices I made.

The plan is coming together. Phase one was to get the roommates in. Phase two is get this divorce final (damn New York State takes their time). Phase three is to get out of Syracuse and back to my hometown of New York City, which means either getting a job or going to grad school full time. Phase four is to get published (and this looks like this may happen sooner than expected).

Of course even the best laid plans do not always come to fruition which is why things seem to take longer for me. I equate it to writing and rewriting drafts. The first one doesn’t seem to come out well thus the second draft comes out better than the first. While I will admit that I may be in my first phase, this is just a small part of a larger plan to get my life to where I want it. In the beginning of the year, I was in a different mind state all together and with patience I am where I am now.

This is why I say that I do not regret my past. I have made choices for the good and the bad and no matter how things may have happened…I am who I am because it. To regret the past would be like regretting who I am as of this moment and I simple will not do that. So I keep my head pointing north and plan for the future.

P.S. I still live in the moment….

A Matter of Perspective.

I was talking to a friend today about how good my roommate situation is right now. What I am amazed about is how much he likes the room and the house. I did work hard enough to make the room and the house look decent enough for any man to move in, so it wasn’t like he was moving into a disaster area. He just seems to be pretty content since he moved in and I hope to continue that.

The thing with me is that when I see this house, I see all the things that is wrong with it. I see every last thing that needs to be touched up or fixed. I could run down a list of things that I know I need to get done once I have enough money to do it. So, it is quite a surprise to me that I can get someone to look at this place and like it. Not to mention that I would have a second roommate coming in September.

Yet, it is all a matter of perspective. My roommate loved the fact that he woke up to sun this morning. He has plenty of windows and gets a great cross breeze. What he also told me his last apt was in a basement so the windows are a change he has wanted for a long time. Let me not forget that he has a dog. A Labrador, so the fact that I have a big backyard is something that he loves so that his dog can run around. These are things that I did not think about.

It is very much reflects my thoughts on what I believe to be valuable. I have been so used to this place that I failed to really see it’s beauty. I do notice that this house is something that other people would like to live in given the chance. Of course I am asking for the right price, but to think about this house as something of value again made me smile.

This is yet another thing that brings me back to my current thought process. I am worth more that what I am getting right now. I have been working hard at not looking at my life at the way I looked at my house. There are things that a perfectly fine with my life that I do appreciate, however, do I really stop to notice how beautiful I am? How beautiful my life is? How beautiful life is in general? Of course not because, like everyone else, I am so engrossed with the toughness of life that I fail to stop and smell the roses.

Life is all a matter of perspective. A man’s trash could be another man’s treasure. So I will leave you with this quote:

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”
– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Roommates At Last!

I had the idea of getting a roommate to help me with the bills last year. What I do not understand is why it took me so long to finally get one. Clearly, I am not complaining, but I am amazed how everything happens when it needs to happen. I wont get into the whole fate argument, but I do believe things happen for a reason.

As of yesterday, I have my first official roommate. Yes, I had a buddy live with me earlier in the year, but I always knew that was going to be temporary. Here I have a legit person who signed a lease AND paid the security deposit as well the rent for the month. I feel this is a major win for me here. I have goals that I have set out for myself and I am trying to scratch them off the list one by one.

It gets better. It turns out that by next month I will have a second roommate! This is another big win for me. I set out to rent two rooms all along, I just had trouble renting one. My current roommate’s friend just so happen to be looking for another place as well. So it looks like I was able to catch 2 fish with one bait. I am very pleased with this stage of my life. I feel that I now can accomplish the other goals that I have set for myself.

I am really starting to think positively about how things are going in my life. I consider my struggles to be like the pain I feel when I started running. It was so hard to keep at it, but I had to pace myself at a rate that I knew I can maintain a certain amount of consistency. Once I really got into it and used to it…I started losing the weight. This is a great metaphor for my life right now. I need to be consistent and steady and my goals will eventually be met.

Being discouraged is only counter productive because as I mentioned before, my life does not suck. I just have a rough patch based on my own circumstances. As I get accomplish each goal and get out of my rut, I get stronger and more confident. Life is so much easier when you know what you want.

Right now, I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good Things Come…

Maybe it’s the books that I am reading or the music I have been listening to, but I am getting a definite feeling that good things are about to come.

Let’s start with the books. I am on my third book in a week and a half by the same author, Paulo Coelho. Clearly, I read The Alchemist and the other day I finished The Devil and Ms. Prym. Right now, I am reading Eleven Minutes and it seems to be another great read just like the other two novels. Reading these books make me realize so much about myself and the things around me. While The Alchemist made me realize to never stop dreaming, The Devil and Ms. Prym has made me understand the good people can be tempted to make bad choices, but that does not make them bad people.

Eleven Minutes is about love. One friend told me that this book made her believe in love again. I will say that I need to believe in that again. I know what I saw in the Dominican Republic and I am not entirely sure that is possible for someone like me, but it will be nice to have faith that it can.

There have been many omens that I have been following over the last week and because I have followed them, I am about a day or so away from finally having a roommate. I tossed around the idea of selling the house but in the end, my heart told me I need to really give this one more try. I put up one final ad and I got 2 decent people whom I met and it seems to this point that by July 1, I will have two people living with me.

The meeting with one of them went so well that he was wondering if I would be willing to rent out the 3rd room that I was just using for storage. This is something that I cannot ignore. I may have to take him up on that offer for a possible 3rd roommate by August.

Look, I am hustling. I am trying to get my work done at the job while maintaining a job search. Speaking of which I got what looks like a promising email so I will keep my fingers crossed on that. I made some minor changes to my resume that I feel quite good about. I will not lose my resolve and will continue doing what I must. This does not mean that I am not following through with Plan B of school full time. I have met with some people that have helped me in this process as well. Names were dropped and now I am on my networking flow.

Speaking of books. I started an outline for a book I would like to write in the future. It needs so much work but as I was doing it I began to realize that this is something that can actually be possible. I have a very good friend pushing to get this done and that is what I need. I have written so many blog posts to this point that I know that I can write a book. I just need to put my mind to it. This is a long term goal that I will see to the end.

I had a dream the other day about a hot steaming iron in my room. So like I normally do, I looked it up on dreammoods.com and came up with what might be the reason for this:

To see red, hot iron in your dream, represents action. Perhaps the dream is telling you to “strike while the iron is hot”. You need to take advantage of certain opportunities while it is still available.

I think this just says it all to me. I need to keep going. I need to not let anything stop me in my quest to better myself. I know for a fact that I am my worst own enemy. When I feel down or get emotional, I tend to stop and analyze everything around me. This is just a waste of time. I wont do it…not this time.

As far as music goes, I have picked several albums. Drake, Eminem, The Roots, and Marc Anthony. So far I am very much inspired by Eminem’s Recovery Album. He speaks about going to hell and coming back in just about every facet of his life. I feel like I have been on a similar journey.

An Issue of Contentment.

As I go through this process of sorting out the messes in my life, I want people to understand a few things about me. I think that in someway I may come across as depressed or saddened or that I feel helpless. That is  not the case. I am just frustrated with obstacles in front of me. I consider my life to be this complex puzzle in which I cannot find the boarders to put the pieces all together.

I know I do not have a bad life. I have a job and a roof over my head. That is more than a lot of people can say these days. So my issues pale in comparison to someone else who may be dealing with a disease or have child that is suffering in any kind of way. I get that I have many things to be thankful for.

On that same token, I know that my actions have gotten me where I am. For better or worse, I am right where I am because of decisions that I have made. Everything happens for a reason and when I am meant to leave, then I will leave. I cannot force it as much as I want to. However, I can do everything in my power to give me a chance to do better things.

The issue for me is contentment. I was speaking to a friend and she made a remark about how her goal in life at this moment is to be content with herself and then suggested that it should be that way with me. This is an amazing point. I need to get to the point where I can be at the very least…content with my life and where it is. This is easier said that done when you set goals for yourself and those goals are not being met. However, I do know that many successful people have failed an enormous amount of times before they achieved greatness.

Failure is a part of life and I am not afraid of it…I am just frustrated about it because in the end, I hate to lose. I have decided that I am going to save every rejection letter I get from employers as fodder for my motivation. I am better than what I put on paper and I am certainly as good as anyone out in the field and I intent on proving that. It will be my journey to simply get better.

I am leaning toward finding roommates again. The simple truth is the the fiscal year for the schools up here starts in July. So do most of the leases. I can catch the rush of people looking for a room to live in between July and August. I realize that I cannot give up. My problems are something I can deal with I just need to not take them on all at once.

I am very fortunate that I am where I am. I just need to prove to myself that I can get  where I need to go.

Adventures in Roommating

I had decided many moons ago that in order to survive the end of my marriage I would need to have a roommate or two. They would help me pay for the bills so that I can stay afloat. The thought after me leaving Syracuse was to rent out my room and thus I would have 3 tenants and keep the property a little longer until I can fully assess what I want to do with it.

So, I figure that I would just put up an ad on Craigslist and then another on Orangehousing. I figured that there is always someone who is always looking to move and I am not a bad roommate at all. I have a 4 bedroom house with everything you need. I just debated the asking price. I personally didn’t think that asking for $600 per month with everything included was going to be a big deal. But, I found out quickly that  in Syracuse…that is too expensive.

Fine. I start lowering the asking price. It started with this one chick  (white girl 1 or WG1 for short) who said she needed a place to stay. I knew her from another person and I figured she would be good. We had this discussion in February and I thought we were all set. To be honest, I made certain concessions in order to allow her to stay.  I gave WG1 the lease for her to look over before she signed it and we agreed upon a date for her move. WG1 never moved in. It was like she fell of the face of the planet! I left a few messages. I even reamed her out on the last one. But hey…she is young and dumb so it is what it is. (Trust me I was tight)

It was time to go back to the drawing board. I needed to clean up a little and rework my ad.

April comes around and I am really feeling the pinch of my bills and I finally get the damn ad out. I start getting massive amount of hits and emails. At the same time, a buddy of mine starts having issues at home and needs a place to stay. I only have two rooms available so I figured I am good. I hold off on my replies to people because I am waiting for my friend to move in. I am a good guy. I try to help people in need, but then he tells me that he is not sure he will be able to move in.  Still feeling confident I start my replies to these people.

Amazingly I got replies from people who had cats. I have nothing against them, but Rocky might. Then there were a few people who wanted me to hold the room until August. That was a definitive no. So, in weeding out responses, I was able to select my top 2 prospects.  A guy (the Italian) that is about my age, maybe a little older and a young woman (WG2) who just got out of college. I invited them over to view the rooms. Things seem pretty cool. They met each other and we all talked about expectations. WG2 was to be the first to move in that very weekend. The Italian wanted to wait until he got paid.

The weekend comes…nothing. No moving in. No e-mail. No text. No phone call. Somehow I am not surprised. This would be woman number 2 that flaked on me. I am starting to think it is me. Maybe I am too brown. Maybe I have pervert written on my head somewhere. So I am thinking…ok, at least I have one roommate that might be moving in. The next day, my friend tells me that everything changed and if I still had a room he could use it. FINALLY! I am getting paid! So he moves in and all I need for the Italian to move in.

This is where people made fun of me because it would be a bachelor pad. 3 grown men living together? Sounds plausible, but I am not trying to mess up this house further. So we are getting closer to the end of April and the Italian comes to me and says he is thinking about moving somewhere else (mind you…he has already paid his security deposit). The issue is that I have no furniture for him and this other place comes with furniture. So he will NOT be moving in. I just throw my hand up. I mean is it really that hard to find a roommate? I am not asking for all that much!

A friend of mine suggested that I re-do the ad to make it sounds personable. So I did that. To this day I still have nothing. I will have to re-double my efforts when I return from Santo Domingo.