I Never Thought

The pain is still there
a dull sense of emptiness
ever so slight
one could think I didn’t miss you
or the light
I saw in your eyes.
There were two of you
one I buried long ago
the other I left
in a life I had to let go.

I can still hear drops
of tears hitting plastic
one of you were wrapped in
I can still feel my pounding heart
when I got a call,
the second one is with his brother.

I never thought
some of my best friends
would be 4 legged.
I never thought
I would miss you this much.

I see your light in others,
When I walk down the street
and I see you running to me
I blink away the tears
and see you
on the leash of another.

They say that animals have
no souls
but I’ve see your souls and your spirits
in open eyed dreams
of a time lost

I miss my friends
The ones who never hurt me
The ones I can never replace

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Poem #21 Dead End

It has been said
so many times
this is a dead end
no going back
there is no future
no reason to
walk that path
that has been
worn out by
steps already
been stepped
trampled memories
and crushed spirits
filled with judgmental strides
weighed down by fearful prides
that road has been
crossed over and over again
why build yet another bridge
only to see that “progress” burns
we take our turns
lighting each fire
and adding gas to it
it is over
it is so much over
that we come back for more
and reminisce about the
clouds of smoke
we created and
we think we can take
those ashes and save them
just to remind each other
who burned what bridge
who trampled on what road
and in the process
we build yet another path
with another outcome
that we refuse to believe exists
because in the end
we know that this road
has to lead to another dead end
a dead end is the only outcome
possible because this path
is not paved perfectly
there are too many exits
and not enough lanes
there are two speeds:
fast and stop
and the judgmental police
are always watching
waiting to render a
opinionated ticket for
something they have no clue
so we take the next exit
and destroy any trace
of this path because
it was simply not in the plan
and besides its over
even though we do
kinda need to
reach the other side
of this huge hole we
just created with all the
other roads and paths
we left devastated
it would only make sense
to help each other
get out of the hole
this one last time
because it is over…
right?

Poem #20 Block

I stare at the
blank piece of paper
the thin blue lines
that separate
spaces where words
should be
I stare cluelessly
not knowing what to say
because haven’t I
said everything
that need to be heard?
have I not given
this page
everything I possibly can?
I would write in
blood if I had to
just to let it all out
instead I am forced
to write this poem
with the only thing
that I can possibly
have left
my tears
the only ink
that I can produce
that will allow me
to break this block
that holds me
this block
that controls me
this block
that remolds me
so I need to
unblock me
I need to let myself flow
and stop letting
fear block my
dreams that are
more attainable
than what I first thought
and stop being caught
up in trying to fill
the spaces in between
the thin blue lines
that make up my
empty paper heart
that yearns to filled
with more than nerves
to be filled
with more than words
and I cannot help that
every time I use this
pen to unblock
i feel better than I did
the minute previous
so just leave me this
feeling…
that maybe on day
i can remove me
from the block
so I can fill that space
with something more
than words 

Poem #19 Runaway Island

my dear friend
take my hand
I found a place
were we can go far
away from
the crap
that I know you
go through
far away from
the drama
that is our lives
an island that
will allow us
to just get away
from the judgmental looks
the superficial friends
and the games
people play
I call it runaway island
fictitious maybe
but this place is
located on the
side of the world
that crosses between the
I dont give a fuck latitude
and leave me alone longitude
we are all welcome
when people play
with our hearts
and our heads
when we just need
to get away
from the tweets
the facebook profiles
the text messages
because we can never
truly put up global filters
to mute someone for
x amount of days
or unfollow the obnoxious
judgments of people who
think they know us
this is a place that exists
beyond a recession
that is free admission
you never have to worry
about what people say
where we can get over
any heart break
and find acceptance
within the confines
of ourselves
thus returning to
the real world better
admission is not given
to those who lie
to themselves
until they admit
their mistakes
and accept their fate
because karma
comes for them first
and makes them
as judgmental
as the others we
run from

Poem #18 Interstate Woman


I see you from afar
and I say damn
why cant you live closer
the things i would do
I wont mention
but you have my attention
I can tell
that you have that
ability to make me
forget the past
and keep me
focused
on the present
I am not used to
your style
because I was not
sure a woman
like you existed
I can get twisted
in your essence
of being
pure womanhood
is more of a verb
because you make
me want to take
action
i look at your zip code
and wonder how many
hours would it take
on the interstate
just to be where you are
how much gas in the car
do i have
if i left right now
i may have to see
because you have
never met
someone like me
I would take that ride
just to spend
the day in your presence
match that sexy voice
to that beautiful persona
match them both
to form that
ideal woman that
we all talk about
but never see
and all I want
is one full day
i would not be remiss
to drive down
just for a kiss

Poem #17 Upgrade


I am zero for four
and while I have
more hits than Mrs
it seems like
letting go is
harder than manning up
but I take the losses
because in the law
of averages
the wins should balance out
and when too many
losses occur
one has to upgrade
the roster
clean the slate
start over
do better than
the past
because
the past
was not working
no more games
being played
it is time for an upgrade
Playing hole to hole
was never the goal
just wasted swings
since the game
was never to par
just a handicapped
system where the rules
changed day to day
with no chance to win
only to play it out
to the bitter end
it is time to upgrade
to step up the game
balance the rules
make things fair
get a chance to win
on an upgraded
course where
things are better
than before
and it is never
about the score
who wins
who loses
and who gets upgraded

Poem #16 Can You Share Them with Me?


Thinking about your lips
full and soft
welcoming
with each smile
I think about
your style
and how I can be
a part of them
will you share
them with me
will you allow me
to touch that
part of your
sensory cortex
that gives you
that reflex
to want to put
your lips on mine
and if I can just be real
i am totally capable
to treat your labial
to all the sensations
it can handle
because this is an art
and I am the artist
kissing you would
make my month
but I will make your year
redefine the meaning
of erogenous
because the simple thought
of this intimacy
will make make
your dreams wet
and all it would
all start with a
simple kiss
to make your bliss
that indication
of where this
could lead
all you need to do
is follow
a simple kiss
a tug of the lower lip
is all that i think about
when I see you
smile
can you share them
with me?

Poem #15 My Friend

someday we all die
we may ask why
we my still try
but in the end
we will still be friends
I will always be there
because I care
you make it easy
to love what we have
a true bond
I dont have to
turn around
because I know
you are there
you have my back
no matter my tears
no matter my fears
you have turned
them into smiles
you have fought
that fight with me
and not for me
and in turn
i have help you
with your battles
took the scrapes
the cuts
the bruises
with you
if you had a cross
i would help
bare it
I would carry it
for you
and with you
I would sacrifice
my mind and body
to make sure
that you were ok
you are my friend
which means
more to me
than I can tell you
so I would rather
just be there
when you are sad
and help you
rejoice when you
are happy

Poem #14 That Moment



There is that moment
that seems to last
forever
that pause
before connection
and the realization
that there is no
going back
thoughts racing
that turn
completely blank
when a set of eyes
meet
hers and mine
in unison
two soft lips meet
and fireworks
are set off
the first kiss
is the difference
between
romance and disaster
tongues dance
as if trying to
discover where one
begins and the
other ends
an erotic dance
of who can
pull way first
who can embrace first
who can love first
who can let go first
who can lose control
first
kisses are never
duplicated 

Poem #13 Heart Shaped Box

If I were to give you
a heart shaped box
what would you expect
to find?
would you think about
chocolate nuggets
with caramel
or cherries
in the center
or cookies perhaps
that you could
carefully pick out
one by one
but what if I gave you
that box
and what you found
was everything
that was me
my love
my pain
my fragile ego
my talent
my tears
my fears
and my mistakes
would you still want it? 
would you unwrap
each morsel
individually to see
why I am so sensitive
why I push away
any woman
if they get too close
why I am so fucking rude
why I am so damn sarcastic
does that same box
seem heavier?
would you take
a damaged box
with all the
contents smashed
or melted
broken pieces
with crumbs everywhere
or would you
prefer that same box
gift wrapped
with a nice red ribbon
around it so that
you never know
that my heart shaped box
was damaged
until it was too late…