zombies – Anthony Otero

Django Unchained, Dominican Republic, racism, Slavery, zombies

Django – My Unchained Issues

I wasn’t going to do it. I wanted to just let it go away because there is no way that I would ever think I would see a day in which people are just way too complacent to care. First let me preface this to say that I did not see this movie. Django Unchained was never a movie I wanted to venture to see. I can never truly say that I would never watch a movie but I can say that I would never pay for it. Trust me, I would never pay to willingly see this movie. So, if you saw the movie and do not care about my opinion about this…then by all means, this is not the blog post for you.

Understand that there are at least a dozen ways for me to see this movie right now for free and I would not exercise that. Mind you, I love movies and I’m a big believer in paying to see movies. I am not into bootlegs or downloaded copies because nothing beats the theater experience. I need to state this because the idea of me not paying to see this movie is saying something. I am not saying that when it come on HBO that I am all over it either but many people are asking me, “what is the big deal about this movie?, why are you SO against it”

For starters I think there are 3 types of people when it comes to this flick. There are the people who saw it and loved it, the people who saw it and were truly disturbed by it, then there are the people who refuse to see it. I am in the last group. I refuse to see this because there is something not right about all of this. I felt that way when I saw the previews months ago. Fine, it is a slave movie that is fictional. Fine, it a movie made by Quentin Tarantino (who loves the n-word). But, a Christmas movie?

That is my FIRST issue and here is why. When I think about Christmas movies, I think about Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Die Hard, etc. These are movies that are fanatical and sensational. Movies that are meant to entertain or that maybe you can bring your kids to despite the parental ratings it receives. Christmas Premieres are meant to go out to a wide audience. So that means that we are going to exchange gifts in the morning and watch a fictitious slave narrative with my kids in which the N-word is said over 100 times.

Ok, that is fine, let’s just say say I am reaching with that. Let’s just say that I am being foolish. But, I think about the commercialization of slavery. We are now saying that we can make sensational movies about a very sensitive period in American History. Why does it have to be that way? I am sure Tarantino says he wanted to make a film about a Black Hero right? But, I am quite sure there will never be a movie about the first slave rebellion in the Dominican Republic in 1522. I am even more certain that they will never make a movie about Nat Turner’s Rebellion. So what are we talking about here? The Boba Fett of the Antebellum period?

Yes, there were other movies like Roots and Amistad. Neither of them were sensational and both were telling a story about true events. Here is the kicker though, just when anyone could think that this wasn’t about making money over slavery…we have the Action Figures for Django. So now everyone can play with “Slave Master Bill” and relive the glory days of Slavery. See, I compare this to the part in Fight Club when Tyler Durden renders the fat from the rich to create soap in which he sells back to the same rich people.

Many people do not have a problem with this. Most people will watch what they are told to watch and they buy what they are told to buy. Most people are ZOMBIES because all they do is consume in this world of consumerism. We tend to forget about the past and just do shit because the television said so with no regard for actual critical thought. If you think I am wrong, then let me ask you if it is too extreme to make action figures bases on Schindler’s List? I mean, can’t you imagine little boys and girl playing with Nazi dolls? I didn’t think so. They will never commercialize the the Holocaust nor with they sensationalize 9/11. Yes, they are different, but they were all tragedies that we will never forget.

I guess what really gets me is that people are defending the movie. Saying how good it was and they don’t get the big deal. There was one woman who said that the only part she didn’t care for was the fact that Samuel Jackson always seems to play roles in my movies that degrade his people (huh?). What really gets me is how people have been blasting Spike Lee for his comments about not ever seeing the movie because they think he is a hater (really?). So my question to all the Black and Latino people (yes, white people too), are you are really ok with the misrepresentation of your people as long as it is a cool movie?

There seems to be a goal in “Post Racialized” America to make it seem as if racism does not exist, but it does. You can actually buy it for $34.99 on Amazon.

50 Shades of Grey, Afro Latino, color blind, culture, Dad, grand father, Latinos, my life, racism, zombies

The Grey

It seems like everyday I’m finding another grey hair on my face. Which I suppose I am ok with since I am deciding to grow more facial hair. If I get tired of it, I can just shave. Yet, I look at it as proof that I continue to survive from year to year.

I often joke that each grey hair on my head is assigned to various people in my life both past a present that have left their stressful mark on me. However, the obvious reality is that I am getting older. I would like to think that my graying hair means that I am growing in wisdom, but I am not sure how true that is. I feel that I make enough mistakes to keep me young. Of course making mistakes is what being human is all about but, making mistakes usually means that one is out there doing new things.

For some reason when I think about the eventual salt and pepper look I will get (which will be a LONG time from now), I think about my maternal grandfather. I kind of knew, by my hair type, that I would be dealing with a greyish look. My dad has a different hair structure (I still compare him to Danny Trejo) that is very flowing and South American. Mi abuelito had hair that was more traditional with afro Latino…

{Pause}

I want to take a pause here because I am trying to not laugh…really. I mean, look at me trying to be all politically correct when it comes to the quality of the hair certain family members have. I could be really honest and just categorize it the way most people do. My father has good Latino hair that flows like Jesus and mi abueltio has pelo malo (bad hair) that flows like brillo.

{Un-Pause}

I think that I will eventually go back to the clean shaven look since there seems to less grey on my head than on my face. I’m really not that old. I’m staring at 39 in about six months and I feel like I am about 25. Truth of the matter is that being grey is not so bad. I feel like most of my life has been different shades of grey (which by the way…I hate that the book has coined this phrase).

{Pause}

Now that I think about, those are not grey hairs. They are white. Maybe, they seem grey when compared to the black hair. I find that interesting. I mean, I have been called racist by white people so I wonder if there is this psychological thing that does allow me to call a white hair white. Maybe, I am color blind in the sense and don’t want to recognize the importance of a certain color so I just call it grey. Interesting thought.

{Un-Pause}

It’s all good. I think have the wisdom to get through such trivial things like grey hairs. I am just glad that I still have my health. I just hope that I never get to a point where I consider using products to color my hair back to black. Do not get me wrong, both Clyde Frasier and Keith Hernandez are both legends but I’m not doing that little “touch of grey” thing that they have been promoting for years.

I think that when people get older they need to own up to their age and just face facts. Getting crap like botox or any anti-aging things will only end up making you look plastic. I mean, just imagine how they will look during the zombie apocalypse. No one wont be able to tell if they are alive or dead AND that is a damn shame.

I am owning up to my impending age. I think I look good. I can’t help but laugh at the fact that when I was younger two things occurred. The first was that I always cried about being the shortest and the youngest. I would always look too young or small for anything and I hated it so much, I could not wait be old (when you’re a kid being old is 19). The second was the fact that I looks so damn young and nerdy, women never looked at me.

Well, I think now I have the last laugh on both cases. 🙂

mother, my life, New York City, zombies

Everything is Connected

I will never get over saying that things happen for a reason. It has become so apparent in my life that everything is connected by something. While I refuse to think that everything in this life is predetermined by some force of fate, I do think that we are some how cosmically aligned with all the events that occur in our personal lives. I have often thought that I feel as if I am playing a form of chess with the universe.

Then there is that saying that “God gives us enough for us to handle.” This have become more of a powerful saying with every breath I take because the only thing I really do pray for is strength. There is not merit in me asking God to solve my problems. I fully understand that anything that occurs in my world will work out the way it should.

I think about the events over the last 24 months. The job interviews, the rejections, the success at work, the rebuilding of my resume, the ending of a marriage, the beginning of a new relationship, the drama, the house selling, the awards, the interviews, the acceptance of a major blog, the new apartment hunt, and the new job. All of the things I listed above have prepared me for my next major thing.

This morning, I found out that my mother has been admitted to the hospital.

This came as a major shock to me. I know that when I interviewed for jobs I talk about my desire to return to my family. I talked about the fact that my mother in not getting any younger. I knew that she had slight health issues due to diabetes but I was not ever expecting a phone call that my mother suffered from what may have been a mild heart attack.

Most of my adult life has consisted of trying to repair the relationship with my mom. Our complicated relationship stems from a divorce long ago that was damaging. Between her anger at my father and my immaturity we found ourselves at an impasse very early in my adult life. As I have gotten older and wiser I do realize that not everything is black and white. I have often equated my issues with women to the fact that my mother and I do not get along. I think after my divorce we finally talked through many things and started to heal. I never wanted to wait until it is too late.

Last night I had a very strange dream. I was with my cousins somewhere that was not New York State. I am not sure why we were there but something occurred that I had to deal with for the entire dream. We witnessed the start of the zombie apocalypse. Before you chuckle, understand that at no time did I think this was not real nor was I scared. Somehow the 3 of us escaped to a hotel that was about to board up its doors. We were able to survive for months while we watched the world slowly end.

What was interesting about this dream was that it seemed to last the entire length of my sleep. I was never stressed and we dealt with any issues that came up. What made it interesting is that the living world was fighting back. You could still watch the news as humans and zombies battled. Some of the zombies even talked on television before attacking the reporting crew. It was all very strange and then I woke up.

When I heard the news about my mother I automatically thought about this dream. Was there significance behind it? I have dreamed about zombies before but this felt very different. I looked up the meaning (which I new before but just wanted to refresh myself) and it read: To dream that you are attacked by zombies indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered. The end of the world could mean many things to people and to some, losing their parents can be exactly that.

Now as she lays in the hospital in stable condition it makes wonder about the events of the last 24 months (as well as that dream). Was this some sort of cosmic plan from the start? Was I meant to get this job at this time so I can be with family at a trying time? This is hard to dispute when I know deep inside that everything happens for a reason.

It turns out she went through a mild heart attack with no damage to the heart. While there will be more tests tomorrow, I will continue to pray that she will be more than ok.

blackest night, dreams, my life, zombies

Land of the Dead

Lately I have been having some really intense dreams. I would not call them nightmares at all, but just really intense dreams. This will sound weird but, I have been dreaming about zombies. While I cannot give any concrete details, it usually revolves around me fighting for my life. The funny thing about it is that I am not at all scared during these dreams. It is almost as if I am just going about my day.

Let me just explain that as a little kid, just about anything that had to do with horror films scared me. I would almost bet something lived in my closet. I will also tell you that being Latino and religious does not help either but, I will leave the stories about spirits for another day. There were 2 horror films that I still have not gotten over since I was a kid: The Exorcist and Dawn of the Dead. Why I chose to see these, I have no clue, but I will tell you that these things scared the holy hell out of me.

For those who do not know, Dawn of the Dead is a basic zombie movie where a group of people get trapped inside a shopping mall while a horde of undead beings are outside waiting to devour them. This movie was remade a few years ago. I actually saw the remake and it wasn’t bad. But, the original is way more horrifying.

I feel that I am not a zombie fanatic like many people are. There have been comic books made about zombies and a lot of them I have read and collected featuring superheros. So, when my dreams manifested themselves, I just figured it was because of something that I read. However, the dreams keep coming back. Same basic story different location or different day. Again, while I am not scared in these dreams there is definitely a certain amout of stress in them. I am either fighting, running, or hiding throughout the dreams.

All this makes me think about my class in college. I took a class about the collective unconscious. My old professor, Bob Gates, made us study the theories of Carl Jung. Through that class, I have learned that dreams are a way of our subconscious trying to deal with our everyday problems. We try to solve or gain answers to our problems while we sleep. One thing is for certain, if you have a dream that repeats, then your subconscious is trying to tell you something that you are not getting.

Right off the bat, I am thinking that these dreams are telling me that I need to stop fighting something or someone. I know that in my past blogs, I have said that I need to go with the flow and my mind is probably telling me I need to stick to that. The running may signify that I am running for something or someone, I may still have to figure that out. As, far as the hiding part, I feel that I do that everyday. I feel that I need to hide parts of myself that feels vulnerable. Zombies signify my problems that threaten to eat me alive. Before I sit here and say that this is because of a person and a situation, I will say that problems can be anything from work related issues, to the debt I may have. So who knows?

I did one more thing to to figure out why I am having these dreams. I went to a website called Dream Moods. I looked up what dreams about Zombies and this is what was listed:

To dream that you are attacked by zombies, indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life.

Well, that pretty much lays it right out for me! However, I am not sure I am under that much stress. But clearly something is bothering me and I will need to figure that out.