Tag: COVID-19

my life

The New Normal

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Source: EpicTop10.com via Flickr

This is the new normal. I feel like I’m watching the world from inside a box and everything outside of it is on fire. I don’t want to think about the doom and gloom of it all but for the second time in my life, I’m witnessing a paradigm shift as its happening. I remember what life was like before 9/11 and it was a different world. Once this whole thing is over, we will say that we remember the pre-COVID-19 world.

Honestly, this is almost equivalent to Thanos snapping his fingers. We cannot get back to the time before and fix this. We will look back and hopefully see what it was that got us here. Sure, we can go into the political nature of our government being ill-equipped but this seems like something more. Our world is in crisis and has been for some time. As humans, we have abused resources and taken advantage of the environment.

I’m not an environmentalist in any way so I won’t get into Climate Change even though I believe in the science. I also won’t get into the biblical implications of what might be happening right now but I will say that God probably did not intend for the Garden of Eden to abused by Adam. What I do believe is that we are a part of a larger universe filled with heavenly bodies called planets. Those bodies, like everything else, live and die. Even stars, much like our Sun, are born and will eventually die.

Our Earth is a heavenly body that is alive and we have abused her quite like a virus. Like most organisms that get sick, their bodies create defenses that cure the virus. Look, I know that I have quite the active imagination but it is not far fetched for me to believe that humans are a virus to this planet and she will defend herself accordingly.

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This is not me saying that we deserve this. I am sure that there are enough God-fearing folks around reciting Revelations 6:7-8 or Ezekiel 38:22. What I do believe is that humans do not care enough about each other to realize that we can all be taken out by the same things. It doesn’t matter how rich you are or how much political clout you have. However, what matters are the actions of those who can make a difference and we are seeing systems fail due to political loyalty. What good is that loyalty up against the coronavirus?

I’m also not a medical expert and I cannot say that I know the origins of all viruses. I know that they attack the human body and if we are lucky enough, over time, we gain some immunity to it. This whole ordeal is terrible and is only getting worse but I would love to think that in a post-COVID-19 world that we are kinder and more cognizant of how we treat each other and the environment. I know better but that is my hope.

my life

My Anxiety is Real

I will be honest and say that I wasn’t really sure if I was ever going to post another blog on this platform. It has been such a long time and a part of me felt that the history of this blog and everything that I wrote about just came to its natural conclusion in 2018. But now we are here in the midst of a Global Pandemic and the only thing I can do is write.

This isn’t a Random Thoughts Thursday post that I do on Facebook.  I just need to get my thoughts together because I am scared. I don’t want to get sick and I don’t want anyone I know to get sick. While I am extremely lucky not to be living in New York City anymore, living in New Jersey only postpones the type of things we are seeing on television. Don’t get me wrong, I am staying at home and I am doing the social distancing thing but what I cannot stop doing is feeding my anxiety.

There was a period of about 8 or 9 days in which I never left the apartment at all. I worked from home, I did some podcasts, binged shows, played with my cats, did Zoom calls, and spent a lot of a great time with my fiancée. All this time, still washing my hands and watching the numbers on the news go up and up. Every morning I get up and thank God that I do not have any symptoms.

When I have gone outside, I have been super careful. We did a run last Thursday because I have to be honest, she is baking all the time and I need to run all this chocolate off. We made sure to pick a route where no one else used. We live in Harrison, New Jersey,  which is a small township right outside of Newark so it seemed easy to avoid people.  Of course, there weren’t that many people outside so it was fine. The following day was so beautiful that we decided to walk to the liquor store (it’s an essential business). I bought a case fo Stella and that was my working out on Friday. The next day we ordered take out from a local place because we have to help the community during this rough time. It rained all day so there was really no one around. It was easy to grab the food and go. Today, I had to throw out the garbage and recycling and my angst kicked in so much. A fourth straight day out of the apartment and while I can say it was no more than 15 minutes. I thought to myself, I really trust no one. I passed by a guy in the hall and I thought about him being asymptomatic and now I got the Rona.

Let me just back up for a second. I am 45 years old that suffers from migraines if I do not hydrate enough. We have a Peloton bike to keep us fit. I am more of a runner so while the bike is great, I would rather be running. Here is the thing, I have been so busy at work even before the stay at home order that I wasn’t exercising as much as I should be. So now, I try my best to do that on the bike. Why am I telling you this? Because I am sore all the time now which is funny because my mind automatically thinks that perhaps I am fatigued so I must have the Rona.

Furthermore, when we come in from the outside we go into full decontamination mode. Hands are washed. Phones, keys, and credit cards that were used are all wiped down with Clorox wipes. Clothes are thrown into the hamper for laundry that was done today. Always. Washing. Hands.

So why am I so fucking shook? I am not one of these heroes in the hospitals that are seeing this up close. I am not a doctor, nurse, or paramedic who charges into this pandemic because they have to. I am just a guy who does not want to get sick then passes it on to the love of life who has asthma because some jerk is out here not taking any of this shit seriously.

This is our reality and just hope that once again tomorrow morning I will wake up thanking God because I may not have the Rona i.e. COVID-19 (the coronavirus).