Frustrations

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Before we all die I just want to say…

I haven’t been able to put a full blog post together since my last vague statement. It’s been hard to write largely because I feel a little lost. When there is too much to say it feels like it’s all babble and then key points get missed which makes it feel like I have nothing to say.

I would love to tell you that my lack of writing is a protest of some sort, like I’m taking a knee at the computer but you know what? There is a part of me that thinks that much of this shit we saw on television this weekend is just crap and I don’t even watch football. I feel like we are getting played because taking a knee is now viral thing and the message is now lost. Look, I’m all for pissing off 45 but I’m not here for making a mockery of the original message about police brutality and inequality. (I needed to get that out of the way)

Puerto Rico is suffering and it feels like no one really cares. Yea, I know people care but where is the round the clock coverage of the “Hurricane Maria Aftermath”? The media could not wait to break out all the graphics and experts for Harvey and Irma. They had people on the ground getting blown by terrifying winds. Maria walked right in and destroyed Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands and they are just now paying attention to this? Fuck outta here. But I guess colonies don’t get the media attention that might negatively impact tourism.

Where is the governmental response? Please, don’t sit there reading this and expect some last minute miracle because I gotta tell you, Puerto Rico has always been seen as the runt of the litter when it come the U.S. colonies. You can go back to the early 20th Century and comb through tons of articles in the New York Times and read how politicians viewed this island and the natives. Puerto Rico has always been a chip on the board and notch in the belt of American Imperialism. Of course, the island is in debt so perhaps had they paid Wall Street this would be different? Disaster Relief has it’s cost.

Sure, 45 is releasing funds to help with relief but after how many days? Did you know that Puerto Rico cannot receive foreign aid because of the Jones Act? This Merchant Maritime law of 1920 (aka The Jones Act) basically states that cargo from another country cannot be dropped off in Puerto Rico and has to be shipped to the mainland in order to be shipped to the island. This is the dumbest thing ever and you want to know why this happened? Puerto Rico is a territory owned and regulated by the Unites States where it forever remains a colony to exploit.

Yes, a colony as in Colonization…as in the island is free to not be free. Remember that when you see the tiny bit of coverage about Puerto Rico. Just know that at one point in time they tried to sterilize women because they felt we needed population control. All of a sudden we expect help even though there are 3 million American citizens on that island?

Ugh! I get so frustrated every time we have to remind people that Puerto Ricans are American citizens. I, now, feel that I need to take this break to remind all of you that Flint, Michigan still does not have clean drinking water. So even the reminder about the rights of certain American citizens hits deaf ears.

Puerto Ricans will get through this, I know we will.  It will be the hardest thing our people will have to face in recent history. I encourage everyone to give time, money, supplies, or all of the above. I know it’s hard because I feel helpless. Everyone has a charity or an idea and it is a bit overwhelming so you’re going to have to some research and go with the best answer (no… The American Red Cross is not that answer) you can.

The point is we need to do something. Waiting is not an option.

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The Definition of Lying

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Before we all die I just want to say…

I thought about all the craziness going on in the government and how everything these days is being called “fake news” by President Trump. I thought it would be fitting to list the all the definitions of the word, lie.

I think it’s important to point out that we all know he’s a liar. This is not a false statement. He has told untruths while weaving a web of campaign promises that he has consistently tried to uphold. What makes me laugh/cringe is that even his followers never thought he would do half the things he promised…why? Because he is a liar.

So with that said, you are entitled your opinion but not your own facts.

Lie
noun
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression;imposture:
3. an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood.
4. the charge or accusation of telling a lie:

verb (used without object), lied, lying.
5. to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive.
6. to express what is false; convey a false impression.

verb (used with object), lied, lying.

7. to bring about or affect by lying (often used reflexively):

Idioms

8. give the lie to,

  1. to accuse of lying; contradict.
  2. to prove or imply the falsity of; belie:
    His poor work gives the lie to his claims of experience.
9. lie in one’s throat /teeth, to lie grossly or maliciously

Various Synonyms

aspersion•calumniation•calumny•deceit•deception•defamation•detraction•dishonesty•
disinformation•distortion•duplicity•evasion•fable•fabrication•falsehood•fib•fiction•
forgery•fraudulence•guile•hyperbole•inaccuracy•invention•libel•mendacity•
misrepresentation•misstatement•myth•obloquy•perjury•prevarication•revilement•
slander•subterfuge•tale•treachery•treason•untruth•vilification•whopper•

lie. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved February 27, 2017 from Dictionary.com website http://www.dictionary.com/browse/lie

Why I March

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Before we all die I just want to say…

I loved the Women’s March. I loved marching in it. I loved doing this because of what it represents. I marched with my woman and I marched for her. In fact, I marched for my mother, my step mom, all my aunts, my cousins, my nieces, my god daughter, my sisters in law, my students (former and current), my co-workers, and my friends.

I feel that much of my life has been about women. I have such a profound respect for women and I learn everyday from them. I recognize my privilege through education, experience, and the numerous mistakes that I try to atone for. It is important that I take all that into account when I’m marching or protesting for a cause because I know how important women are to me.

Without getting too much into the intersectionality of Feminism, I wanted to say that the one thing that surprised the shit out of me was the Black Lives Matter chants. I was more than thrilled to hear and chant those in this march in New York City. It is important that this movement include all of us. It is important that we never forget Black women and Latinas. We cannot forget Asian women and Muslim women. All these parts of what women are make a difference in the overall ideals of women.

Note: Favorite chant of the day…
Women: My Body, My Choice!
Men: Her Body, Her Choice!

There is also room for the Transgender community as well. They also have a seat at this table and when people complain about how men want to control the inside of a woman, we need to be mindful on how we attempt to control body choices of Transgendered community.

Yet, despite how hopeful these marches were and how good it felt to participate in them, I cannot help but feel angry everyday. I cannot help but feel our hope slip away as facts get thrown out the window and replaced with “alternative facts”. Lie after lie after lie puts me in a foul mood and this is just the first week in a long four years.

How many marches are we going to have? I know this is what democracy looks like but this is not what democracy feels like.

Sigh. I do see hope in the eyes of my God daughter. I do see hope in the eyes of my girlfriend. I don’t know what I will do if and when I ever see their hope fade.

That is why I march.

 

…I just want to say

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Before we all die I just want to say…

There are so many things happening all at the same time that I hope you’ve had a chance to pop your head up and say, “wait, this is really happening.” I wont be one of those bloggers that will go into a large list of reason why we are all severely fucked, but I will not deny that life is about to get that much harder.

I’ve spend weeks since Election Day trying to figure out how I’m gonna write as many blog posts as I want to and still be some what positive (or at the very least interesting). The problem I run into is that (not so) deep down, I’m angry. Of course being angry is nothing new because there’s always been a certain level of rage that has been inside of me. I just think that I’m not emotionally prepared for these next 4-8 years.

I can argue that these next few years will be pivotal for me. I could conceivable get married again. I could conceivably have a child. Those two sentences alone just fuck me up because how long does whatever personal happiness last in a world like this?

Look, I was child toward the end of the Cold War. I used to be frightened about the possibility that a nuclear missile would rip though the New York City skyline and kill us all. As a child, I never understood the nature of that threat. I just understood that adults were assholes and that they could destroy all of us because they can. My mother used to tell me that no one was stupid enough to blow the world…

As an adult, I now understand the nature of this threat. I understand how someone could start WW3 by simply thinking their dick is bigger than everyone else. This scares the hell out of me. I don’t have the irrational fear that I once did but I have the educated fear which in many ways is much worse. I do think that there are people in power who are stupid enough to pull that button or at the very least dumb enough to provoke.

So, before we all die, I just want to say that in the course of American history there have always been several events that happen within a century that change us forever and most of them end up being bad. We may have reached that point.

I miss the Obamas already.

Happy New Year?

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2016, What the F–k.

This has probably been one of the worst years in the new Millennium. Sure we can talk about celebrity deaths because there have been quite a few of them. But yet I feel like we’ve been on a collective journey through this shit storm.

Maybe, it was the election that makes me feel this way. Perhaps it was the fact that I wrote last year that I was not looking forward to 2016  due to the fact the Black Lives still Don’t Matter. The news in general has not been good overall.

Kinda reminds me of Rouge One.

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It was a dope movie. An impossible mission to stop an impossible creation. So many deaths.

While so many of us have survived this year the question is, what will 2017 have in store for us? Even better, do I still wish everyone a Happy New Year?

I know, personally, that I have no idea what is going to happen to any of us. I want to be the hopeful person that thinks the next 4 to 8 years will be amazing, but I can’t. I can only think about how we are in serious trouble.

I will still write. I will still share my opinions. I will still support my peoples. I just wonder, what it will all be for? Yeah, it sounds like all doom and gloom but we’ve seen the rise in populism before. In fact, great stories are created with great villain with crazy ideals. This is a ride I’m not ready for but will take anyway.

So.. Happy New Year?

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(p.s. all these scenes were cut from the movie due to reshoots. Ironic somehow.)

…in their shoes?

One of the things I end up doing when I start getting back into novel writing is to write dialogue. Just random conversations to get back into the flow. Sometimes, I will mimic actual conversations and other times, I will go on long tangents just to see where it goes. If I find it very interesting and useful, it may end up in a story that I’m writing. So in that essence, I decided to really write a conversation about a person who believes the exact opposite of what the other believes.

Most times this ends up being an experiment that I play out in my head and then transfer it to the keyboard later. Once I do that, I’ll add more words to give it more depth. I consider this to be an exercise of being in the other person’s shoes. The problem really becomes the issue of trying to debate facts. I mean, how does one do that?

Here’s a scene with two guys talking. I can always add the details later but for the sake of argument it’s probably better to ask yourself where you imagine them. A bar? A strip club? In a car, driving? Later in my writing process, I tend to add other details like… he said or he continues. Also, I’ll add things they’re doing while the dialogue is happening to make the exchange seem authentic because we’re never still when we talk to people.

Anyway here we go:

FADE IN

A: I believe the Earth is round.

B: Oh fuck no, I don’t believe that shit at all.

A: How can you say that? That’s a fact.

B: Really? How is that a fact?

A: Uh, Science.

B. Oh, so you go to school to learn a bunch of shit these Liberals tell you? Have you seen the Earth for yourself? I know you ain’t never been up there personally and don’t tell me you saw pictures because any photo can be doctored.

A. Liberals didn’t create science though. They do teach science in schools so you have to give it some merit. But, back up, you actually think the Earth is flat? What about space and the moon? We did send astronauts up there.

B. See, that’s some bullshit. The moon landing was all faked. I read it somewhere. They never landed and they totally had a camera with some funny lighting effects that gave people watching it on TV the impression that they was there… and you want to know why I know the Earth is flat?

A. This should be amazing.

B. Because if the Earth was really round, airplane pilots would be trained to not fly off into “space”.

A: (puzzled) What? Are you serious? Are you air quoting space?

B. Yup, I don’t believe in “space” either.

A: What the fuck? How do you not believe in space? What do you think is up there? Heaven?

B: That’s right, I do. All I’m saying that if there were billions of fucking stars up there then it wouldn’t be so dark at night. I read all about it and it make sense. I believe what I can see.

A. Wow. I guess gravity means nothing either.

B.  I never said nothing about gravity. Let’s stick to “space” and your belief in “science”.

A: Yes, why don’t we stick to science? I happily believe in a little something we call facts.

B. That’s all bullshit though. All this science shit is a conspiracy to get us to believe that God doesn’t exist and I’ll tell you this: I hope you got your shit together because Jesus is coming real soon.

A: …and that’s a fact.

B. Hell yeah it is.

A:  …and you know this, how?

B. I read it in the Bible.

FADE OUT

Honestly, I can do this all day. This gave me some pause because I realized that I could come up with an argument on facts. Yes, religion came into it and you kinda had to expect it to go in that direction.

The point is that no matter how dumb I think the other person is, they believe what they believe. We are in a matrix moment where people believe so passionately about their own personal truth they they would die on a very steep hill for it.

So, yes, this is life right now where facts and opinions hold the same weight.

Faith is, of course different, but you can also be religious and scientific too.

Also. There really are people who believe the Earth is flat.

Remember this is all fluff anyway.

 

This is Life Right Now?

I can’t fully explain how the next 8 years will play out (yes, I said eight). I can barely get a full grasp how it will feel when January 20th rolls around. The only thing that I can compare all of this to are things I’ve seen in fictional universes.

Maybe its because things don’t feel quite right. Maybe things feel out of place or a tad bit disjointed because this can’t be right life right now, can it? Donald Trump is going to be president. I was kinda hoping we would get some sort of time traveler trying to stop this shit. Unless you consider the alternative that they actually did because Hilary won… but what does that even mean? (answer: ssǝןpɹɐbǝɹ pǝʞɔnɟ ǝɹɐ ǝʍ)

So, yes, this is real life and I can only compare it to a few things.

G.I. Joe: Worlds Without End (1985)

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On November 4th and 5th of 1985 these two episodes aired that depicted a few members of G.I. Joe traveling into an alternate universe (via transmutation device). They soon discovered that Cobra won and took over The United States (and the world). What followed was the discovery that everything had changed. The currency was different. The White House was made of gold. The Lincoln Memorial is now Cobra Commander Memorial (although he’s not dead).

This was a nightmare world where democracy died, where a lunatic and his cronies have taken over everything. Jobs don’t exist because it was replaced by slavery. I’ve always wondered how possible would it be for something like this to happen. How could a egotistical person like Cobra Commander win? How does that start? Hm.

Justice League: The Savage Time (2002)

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This story aired on November 9th of 2002 and its a time travel tale that involves WWII and Nazi Germany. The premise is more of, “what if the Nazis won?”  So how did this happen? Well, Vandal Savage managed to change the time stream. Green Lantern protected most of the Justice League from the temporal force that was unleashed (because they were in space doing what they do). When the JL returned to Earth they discovered that a tyrant had taken over everything.

Since most of the story revolved around going back in time to fix shit, the brief present was nothing short of an Orwellian depiction of how a government can be run by a tyrant. The only bright spot was Batman still existed but in “the resistance leader” sense. This is where I begin to think about how Nazis can run a modern day country. It doesn’t seem so far fetched now.

Star Wars (All of them)

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There are many things that fascinate me about Star Wars that go beyond Jedi, the religious undertones, the father/son dynamic, and the spaceships. At the end of the day, the majority of the story is about the rise of evil and xenophobia. Chancellor Palpatine, despite being a Senator, was considered an outsider of sorts when it came to the political realm of the Republic Senate. He was voted in because the people wanted change and he thus plunged the galaxy into war that lead to him ruling it with an iron fist. Aliens, in particular, were forced to the edge of a galaxy that was ultimately run by old white men.

I think the most fascinating thing is that Palpatine was a liar and the Jedi knew it. He played everyone with lies and when he was attacked he was able to play up a non existent weakness. At the end of the day, he turned a Republic into a an Empire. At one point I couldn’t even imagine what life would be like as a citizen of this galaxy until I read a great book called Bloodline by Claudia Gray which explains the birth of the First Order from the ashes of the Empire.

All it takes is a populist candidate with a group of politicians who want to turn government on it’s head.

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But you know what? This is all fiction right? This shit could never happen on a smaller scale. This could never happen to us. Right.

Fluff.

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Fluff. I feel that pure fluffy shit has been coming out of my fingers as I try to write blog posts. The world is going by so fast and sometimes I feel like I’m on the sidewalk waiting for a light to tell me when I can cross. The problem is, there is no light. There is no crosswalk, just passing cars filled with propaganda, think pieces, real shit, and cupcakes for racists. It’s almost sensory overload.

There are people who say everything I want to say much better than I would. So my life right now is about re-tweeting and liking posts on social media, which is cool, but I feel like I should do more. When I do come up with something it’s often times… fluff.

All this to say that this has been a horrible year. I know that most people will tell me that I get a pass because my aunt died which is fair to a certain extent. I just started to re-energize by completing the first chapter of my next book, but I still feel that something is off with me and my writing habits when it comes to this blog in particular.

Perhaps I need to refocus on other things but the problem with that is that even if I start something new like writing only about comic books, I will eventually get mad enough to talk about the current state of affairs. Then again, I don’t even know what that would look like outside of fluff.

Maybe it’s because the world in an enigma now. What’s up is now down. Racists have a real platform. Fake news is now real news or is real news now fake news? How does a creative person create fiction in a world where nothing seems real? This is what I struggle with because it is all fluff. Do I really want to write about shit that doesn’t matter to anyone but more specifically, me?

My next two blog posts will prove my point. I will still post them but they are crap. Just shit that I came up with because I just have nothing better to write about. But, think about this, Prince died and Trump is about to be the new POTUS. Shit doesn’t makes sense. It’s all fluff from this point out.

This is not a Think Piece

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This is not a think piece.

I’m not going to hit you with stats about this election nor the implications of a GOP controlled government and how that will effect Black and Latinx lives. I’m not going to talk about how insane 2016 has been. This is more of an emotional thing for me because so much has happened that I haven’t really written anything substantial.

First – My aunt Theresa died last week.

I’m still coming to grips with that loss. There’s a missing piece in my life and in my family that has really caused a shift that I’m trying to deal with. Here was a woman in my life that I’ve gotten close to over the last 8 years. I spent time with her and if she need anything I was there. I dedicated my last book to her because I knew that it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to cancer.

Stage three advanced pancreatic cancer. I have seen her wither away for the last three years and feel a certain way about it. I feel a certain way about how this effects my family. I will leave that there because anything else skirts the line of privacy that I’m not ready to breach. What I will say is that as much as I loved her, she was a Trump supporter. I laugh because I know she would’ve been happy with what the hell happened yesterday.

Second – Donald Trump is the President-Elect.

Wow. I never thought things could change so quickly. I feel like we were duped. All the polls were wrong. We were all wrong in thinking this was all a joke and this would never happen. We were all wrong to think that we could elect a woman president. Now, there is a feeling of sadness that is compounded with the loss of my aunt.

I am so tired of feeling sad and 2016 has been that year where too many people had died for little to no reason. 2016 has been a the year that Prince died for Christ sake.

There will be plenty of blame to go around but I will not partake in this because this is not a think piece.

I will not get into blaming the subtlety of white supremacy that allowed people to lie to pollsters about who they were voting for because this is not a think piece.

I will not go into the blatant misogyny that has allowed Trump to become president even when he has a rape trial coming up. This is not a think piece. This is an emotional piece. It is okay to cry. It is ok to kick something.

The only thing I want to do right now is get though the next few weeks. I want to get through my aunt’s memorial and I want to finally start writing again because the world is changing and I do not want to lose myself.