latinegro

Titles are Everything

I’m at a point in my life where titles are important. In my mind, there is a difference between being called a blogger and being called an author. There is a certain amount of literary prestige that comes with the latter title. That might because writing books is one of the oldest professions in the history of man and it continues to be something special.

I’ve been fending off the notion that I’m an author until the novel comes out because I never wanted to be considered something that I haven’t earned yet. However, with each hurdle that have past in the process of self publishing, I realize that the title author is something that I’ve already achieved. I gained this title the moment I registered the finished novel with the an ISBN. This golden number can now open the doors of self publishing. It has allowed me to upload the manuscript on createspace and work on the interior of the book.

This means that I’m no longer concerned with wording as much as I may be concerned about the size of the font. I already know the paperback size which is just a part of the larger realization that all of this is actually happening. I have doubted myself for months thinking about how much I have talked about this novel with very little results to show because I couldn’t give anyone a specific date that the book was coming out. Sure, I did have hope that this book would’ve been out by now but the process has taken much longer than I’ve anticipated.

WIthout a cover, it’s hard to predict a date but that did not stop me from applying to the Goodreads Author program. This is a site that I joined a few years ago as an avid reader. When the book club I was in existed, the books were tracked by Goodreads. I have a record of just about every book I have read and that helps me realize the range of books I’ve digested. At some point last year, I realized that some of my fellow bloggers are in the author program and I promised myself that when I get the chance, I will be a part of this.

The reason why I wanted this so bad is because the program would allow me to combine all my writing projects. I would be able to add my blog and have the novel displayed all on the same page. There may be in option for any future articles from the Huffington Post. More importantly, it gives me place where I can finally say, officially, that I have a book coming out with a projected date of October 1st (this could change to an earlier date).

It’s hard to explain how much doing this means to me. We’re not just talking a page that highlights the book. We are talking about me being in the same author program with folks like Junot Diaz and Toni Morrison (who are LEGENDS). This has also forced me to come up with a synopsis of the book which I really didn’t have before. So when I forget how to answer that question of…”what’s the book about?” I can look up what I wrote. lol

For the first time I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not going to say that I’ve arrived but I will say that I’m in the general area. Thanks again for all the support.

goals, maturity, men, money, my life

Getting it Together

Being an adult is hard. I’m thinking about this as someone types the exact same thing to me. It’s a general feeling that I’ve had for the past week. This probably has everything to do with the fact that I am now 40. I have all these preconceived notions of what 40 should be and I can say for sure that I am not there.

I have been evaluating my life to figure out exactly where I am. As a person who has lied to himself on several occasions during my 30’s, self evaluation has become critical to my ever growing development as a person and as a man. It’s not easy to really admit one’s faults but I’ve come to realize that is a young person’s game. At my current age I should have my shit together and its sad to say that I don’t.

I guess you can say that I’ve been “Faking the Funk” when it come to certain portions of my life. I think life can be divided into sections like work, love, family, and financial (to name a few). For the most part, the majority of my life is good and I can’t complain about much. I’m so fortunate to have people that care about me. I’m grateful for my friends, family, and a wonderful job. Yet the financial part of my life is in shambles.

This has nothing to do with whether or not I get paid enough. This has everything to do with a problem I have of ignoring my issues. I can’t even explain why I do it. I will only guess that there is a fear of numbers. I feel like I owe money to the world and it can be a little intimidating. Which is why, at 40, I’m starting to feel that I need to get my shit together. I need to stop pretending that these bills will magically go away because they wont. In short, I need to start acting like a grown up.

blog Maybe I had a little bit of Peter Pan syndrome where I would just fly around shit and just enjoy the things I wanted to do while ignoring the fact that the real world exists. I cannot do that anymore and for many men, that is the crux of the problem. We ignore shit thinking that perhaps things will go away. For many guys, it’s a doctor they avoid and for me it’s my finances (dentists are a close second…smh – don’t worry I have an appointment tomorrow). But, I realize I cannot do this anymore. Forty year olds are supposed to have all this figured out right?

Even if they don’t, I need to get my shit together. I sat down last week in a panic mode trying to figure out how to improve this part of my life because I know I can get out of this mess I created for myself. In order to do this, I need to improve all aspects of my life as well. I created some reminders that go off everyday on my phone such as, creating and checking my daily to-do lists, create an additional budget plan for debt management, going to bed early, and being on time. These are just small things that will lead to larger goal management since, clearly, what I was doing before was not working so I have to try new things. It is very easy for me to NOT do something and it gets easier to be complacent as I get older. So it is all about being intentional to do things outside of my comfort zone.

The sad part about this is that I know that I’m not the easiest person to deal with. I can be defensive and dismissive when people who care try to tell me about my bullshit, but in the end they are absolutely correct. I do need to get my shit together and it has to happen now. I have to start thinking about life as an older man and that requires the type of planning I wasn’t willing to do when I was in my thirties.

my life, Novel, writing

Countdown

How long has it been since I started this? I think I started on this novel in March of last year. I finished the first draft last September and the second draft in December. Major editing begin in January of this year and before we knew it, the third draft was completed by May. Along the way, there were test readers who helped critique the book. Now, I have a final manuscript that I still tweak here and there. But the real countdown has begun the moment I purchased a set of ISBNs on my birthday.

I considered it a birthday gift to myself because the time for lingering is over. I have worked very hard on all of this and I have this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to get all of this done before the end of the summer. I wrote about the need for me to get ISBNs back in 2011. I knew three years ago that I need to get these and I put it off for various reasons. They are not cheap and technically, I’m buying something that I cannot touch as of yet. Since my financial situation was different three years ago, I put it off.

Of course, it should not be a surprise that the price went up. What was once a $250 investment for 10 ISBNs became $295. Maybe not that much of a difference but it’s still $45 dollars I could’ve saved had I not put it off for so long. But you know what? I just ran with it. So what makes me ultimately laugh is the fact that I think I’m done. I figure that I would have this crucial final piece so when the cover is done I’m all set. Right? No, I still have to buy bar codes for the books. lol (clearly, I just found out they are not the same thing) So, it will be stuff like that that I need to look out for. I’m already aware that I will have to figure out font type and size of pages. Hopefully, that these will be the final hurdles.

This is a learning process and the bar codes will not hold me up. They are $25 each and I will deal with that as it comes. More importantly, I think we may have found someone to design the cover. I’ve seen his work and he may be the right match for what I’m looking for. I just need to have a little more patience because I am so ready to do this. To pass the time I may go over the book one more time but to be honest, I’m ready to get this done, NOW.

So, the countdown has began on June 12. I’m giving myself to September 1st to get this done. I will not be happy if I cannot deliver.

birthday, my life

40

I don’t feel 40. I woke this morning the same as always. There is no noticeable difference. Of course when I look in the mirror I see gray hairs on my chin. Sure, I started to grow those things about five years ago but they are sprouting up at an accelerated rare. Once I shave those bad boys off, 40 is something I don’t even closely resemble.

40 just means surviving 4 decades as I enter my 5th. It means another era where I get to define, or perhaps redefine what I am. I remember thinking as a kid about what it would feel like to even be this age. What would I be like? What would I have accomplished? Now I look at my life and see that I have so much left to do.

It almost feels like a fresh start. Being young and twenty was nice but being young also means being really stupid. There is this aura that being that young meant I knew everything which really means I knew nothing. Being thirty now seems like I was trying so hard to be this productive adult I wanted to be when I was twenty. Yet all the good times and bad times have shaped me to what I am right now.

I can already tell that that I have a sense of wisdom that comes from being 40 and not in the Shaolin Master kind of way. I find it useful that I can draw from life experience when it comes to making a decision. Having a hunch about something when you’re younger is not the same when you have experience. I’m grateful for having being able to learn and grow from my mistakes.

I wont think about any of the negative things that come with being 40 (like prostate exams) I would rather focus on future prospects like 5k runs and book signings. I anticipate this decade being bigger and better as strive for personal greatness. I still have so much to prove to myself. I still have so many goals to set and achieve.

my life

40 Things About Me Before I Turn Forty

I’m twirling my iced coffee today thinking about what I’m going to write tomorrow when I thought about the fact that I barely post any more and when I do it is about the novel. So I figured I should do something fun. Here are some things about me that I should just rehash about myself before the big 40 tomorrow. Don’t worry this a straight list with no gifs… I’m not Buzzfeed. lol

I talk to myself when no one is around.
I have never broken a bone. *knocks on wooden desk*
First job at 14 was at Pathmark in Inwood
I’ve done online dating before it was scientific.
I still read comic books
When I was 9, I forgot my gym shorts and paraded out the locker room in my Robin Underoos. (long story, it worked though)
Freshman year in college I wrote and made song called “Ant-Man.” (it was the worst rap song in the history of all songs….ever)
I was highlighted in the Syracuse Post Standard as an up and coming young Latino.
I’ve written more than 100 poems
I lost a part of my soul on the ride Kingda Ka.
I spent 12 years in Catholic School.
The first concert I ever worked was Everclear in 2001. (No clue who they are)
I still play Dungeons and Dragons.
I can cook pretty well and getting better at it.
I’ve contemplated suicide in High School.
I posted 6 chapters of an old project on Goodreads
My old blog is still active.
The Exorcist is the scariest movie I have ever seen. I refuse to watch it again. lol
I’ve met many artists backstage including, Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, Common, The Roots, Childish Gambino, ASAP Rocky, Immortal Technique, & Frankie Negron.
The first movie I saw alone was Transformers: The Movie (1986)
I was 17 when I dated my first girlfriend.
I’ve written over 60 letters of recommendation
I’ve been pepper sprayed before (another long story, damn college dance parties).
I’ve rolled my car in a accident.
I’ve written 8 articles for the Huffington Post
My first concert was Wu-Tang Clan.
I’ve broken bread with Junot Diaz, Eduardo Bonilla-Silva, Willie Perdomo, Miguel Melendez, Michele Carlo and Piri Thomas (RIP).
I was an expert in Street Fighter II and Tekken 2 (come at me bro).
I’m way too competitive and, yes, sore loser has been used to describe me.
I wrote a 5 minute play called “Call your Mother” when I was in college.
I’ve seen the Pacific Ocean (as New Yorker, that is a big deal).
I’ve been married (and divorced).
My longest drought was 3 years (figure it out).
I was in attendance for the 6 Overtime game at MSG.
I sing and dance while I’m cooking (until my girlfriend walks in and then I stop lol)
One time I got so mad playing Mario Kart with friends that I throw in Oreo cookie against the wall just to see how it would explode on impact (I have issues).
I ran my first 5k this past April.
I was on Wall St during 9/11
My parents divorce went to the NY Supreme Court (I just found this out. lol)
I wrote a novel.

I could have kept going. It was fun and interesting to think about all those things. It makes me think about where I have been and where I can go. Tomorrow will be interesting.

comic books, my life, Novel, writing

Building a Better Book

I can see where it has taken people years to finish a book. I’ve heard stories about how it has taken ten plus years to finish a book. I figured out why that is. Building a better book is all about perfection in the eyes of the writer.

As I have combed through pages upon pages of this novel, I have found new things to either tweak or even add if the story called for more detail. This is why drafts get numbered. The current manuscript is the fourth of its kind. It’s fully edited and complete from my stand point (for the moment). But now it’s time for more feedback and cover designs.

First, I think I need to say that I have a publicist. Before you tell me how fancy you think I am, she’s family. Which brings me to my editor, she’s one of my oldest friends. It’s this type of network that has made me just focus on the writing and less on everything else. The role of the publicist is to help me promote the book as well as get the things I need to make this book happen. She is the one getting me new test readers. These two women have invested time into this novel and has made me believe in the book as much as I’ve made them a believer in me.

Their efforts have helped me make this book better and that is important. There have been many potholes in this journey. Many moments of self doubt when I wanted to just quit this whole process. Let me be real, this novel is rated R. It’s an adult oriented book that discusses many issues and sex is a very prevalent theme. This has made me think twice about if what I’m writing is necessary, is this a narrative that I really want to put out there?

I struggle with that question knowing the book’s content so when I got my first negative review, it hit home. Granted, I knew that not everyone is going to like the book but in her feedback, this lady mentions that Black and Latinos need to do better with their stories. I’ve heard something similar to this in the past with other authors. People wondering why sex has to be so prevalent, aren’t we sexualized enough as it is? Perhaps we are but that doesn’t mean we have to ignore the importance of sex and physical interactions in life. Sex is not in the story just to be in the story, it serves a purpose. Which brings me back to my publicist that had originally pointed out that I will need to figure who my audience is.

Yet, there is something that has been really calling me lately in terms of the book cover. First, understand the the title of the novel is Hanging Upside Down and there are several things one can do with that. However that are things that I’m NOT willing to do, which is anything has to do with a noose. There are too many images out there already that have negative connotations for people of color. So instead, I’m thinking about the real possibility of making the cover have of a comic-booky (yes, I know) feel. Reason being is that I think in a parallel universe I’m a comic book writer and I really want to honor the things that made me want to write in the first place.

I’ve also come to notice that the way I write comes from reading so many comic books. There are cliff hangers, flashbacks, and of course, a villain. I realize that this may be the case in many novels as it is but I like think that this is where my style has come from. So with that being said, when I saw the photo at the top of this blog, I already knew what I wanted. The background is this, I stopped collecting comic books when I went to college because I could not afford it. So when this series came out in 2007, it reeled me back into collecting again. I love the presence of a strong woman and I can tell you that this picture does resemble a part in the novel.

Building a better book may take perfection in my eyes but it also takes teamwork and I realize that my problem was that I thought I could do this alone. I thought that I can get this book out as fast as possible with no issues but I learned quickly that it is better to trust those who trust me.

divorce, my life, Novel, writing

Genre? What Genre?

As I enter the last stages of the edits times infinity, I look at what needs to do be done next and something seems to be escaping me. I keep hearing the same things come up. The questions of “who is my audience” and “what is your genre?” My first reaction to this is that my audience are readers and my genre is fiction. I’ve simplified it in my mind because I would like to think that any adult can pick this up and read it.

But then I had to take time to critically analyze the self publishing and traditional publishing industries and came to the conclusion that there are a lot more questions that I need to ask and answer. Right now, the question is when the fuck and I going to be done with this? But I have to force myself to be patient otherwise any sense of rush will show on the pages. My second question is how do I categorize this book? Those who have read the unedited version have told me that women would be the intended audience. I would also like to think a certain portion of men would read it too…divorced men.

The premise of the novel is not only centered around men and the bad decisions they make but how they deal with it. Divorce, sex, friendships, racism, and family are all there in the novel. I would just assume that that divorced men would have a bit more of an interest in this because of the content. However, I know that the way the book is written, my audience will probably veer toward women. There is a certain “novela” feel that the book has that should be attractive to those who read such things.

However, there are plenty of references to Hip Hop and other music genres that not only define me but define my generation. While, I don’t bombard the reader with musical references too much, they are there. There is much to be said about how music is a part of someone’s life. There is no way I can write a first person narrative and not include some elements of that. Those elements were not there as much during the first two drafts but considering how draft three has just been completed, the musical elements have been added to provide yet another layer to the reader’s experience.

That is why it is so hard for me to come up with a genre. There are so many layers. Is there a sub genre of divorce? I suppose there is if I can type it into Goodreads and it gives me a list. The problem is that I don’t want to stick to those types of stories in the future. I suppose the novel could be a romantic story in some real way. However, I do slap people in the face with the realities of how men can be. Can there be a reality genre in fiction? In any case, I think I should look toward my beta readers to determine what a genre should look like.

But let me also take this a step further, this whole genre thing has been another way research “the competition.” I say that in quotes because it has been suggested that I see what is out there in terms of similar titles and book covers. I consider a book cover to be very important. Some people will at least read the opening chapter just because of the cover.

The one thing that is working in my favor is the title has not been used and fiction books about divorce from the man’s side are not common. Add the fact that the protagonist is Latino makes it just about rare. So hopefully I can carve a little nitch for myself in this area.

I’m so ready for this book to come out.

color blind, disney, my life, Race/Ethnicity

Pink is Oppressive

Yeah, I know. This isn’t pink, but I will get to that.

I recently spent some time in Disney. While I’m not one to fall for the theme of the Magic Kingdom, which is dreams do come true, I did have a great time. The numerous amounts of things to do kept me busy pretty much all day. Rides, shopping, food, parades, and fireworks pretty much defined my days. However, the woman and I were not going to fall for the subliminal messages of it all.

Pink is oppressive became a battle cry of sorts that the woman made sure she said whenever there were too many images on what Disney thought little girls should aspire to be. I started to really think about all the images that have been fed to us. I always try to make a point of recognizing an absence.

Let’s not get into the fact that Walt Disney World is a business and the sole purpose of that business it get as much money as possible from its costumers. If you go to any of their theme parks understanding this, you should have a pretty good time. I need to preface all of this by saying (again) that we had a great time at Disney. We had a game plan and a budget that we followed (not to mention we walked the length of the park about three times which makes for a great workout).

With all that being said, I did have a problem with much of the imagery when it comes to women. Granted, we are not talking about Game of Thrones here but we are taking about a belief that dreams can come true but first don a princess dress and wait for your Prince (Joffery) to arrive. I thought about that when it came time for me to buy something for my god-daughter. Do I really want her to be a princess that wears pink? No, I would rather she be a warrior, a Wonder Woman. Actually, I would rather she be Michonne, but more importantly, I would want her to be able to make that choice without the subliminals.

It was my woman who really pointed out a set of dolls that were all Disney princess and the one that looked the saddest was Pocahontas. It was almost as I if she was saying to the world that she didn’t belong in such a place with her lack of crown and her brown skin. Which now brings me to my next point and biggest gripe.

Downtown Disney is an amazing area that has a plethora of places to eat and shop. Admission is free so if its a pretty nice place to get your Disney on without having to pay $100 a ticket. So within this sea of capitalism is a place that sort of put a light in my eyes, The Lego Store. Legos are one of those things that take me back to my youth. While I was not a talented builder, they were a staple of my childhood. So, as an adult, I’ve had to fight the urge to buy The Sith Interceptor or the Millennium Falcon because while it would look really cool, where the hell would I put it, much less have time to build it?

Anyway, so we go into this grand store and there are Legos everywhere. Box sets of just about everything from Avengers to Lord of the Rings on the shelves. There are massive Lego statues of Buzz Lightyear with Woody and The Hulk. Of course, the place is swarming with kids. Just when I was getting the point that I was thinking how much I would bring my non-existent children to this place, I see this kiosk where you can build your own little Lego person. The nerd in me is thinking this is greatest thing ever (next to building your own droid). There is only one problem, all the Lego people are white.

Each little cubby hole in this kiosk is filled with parts: heads (with different facial expressions), toros, legs or dresses, hats or helmets, weapons, etc. So if you want to build a firefighter, police officer, or a combination of the two you have the tools. There were gender specific parts so you can match them up and switch things around but yet I am pulling way because I know I cannot build my “replica”. In my mind, it wont be me. Of course the little kids around me don’t care. The black kid next to me is having fun and so are the Latino kids on the other side of the kiosk and I suppose in many ways people will say that it’s not big deal.

This is our Lego replicas. Something is off…

Well, that’s wrong. It is a HUGE deal. First, I don’t want to hear the argument that Lego “skins” are generic and represent everyone because they don’t. If they did then Nick Fury from the Avengers would not be brown. Is it that hard to add brown faces to the kiosk? Disney gets visitors from around the world, is it that difficult to be diverse? Of course not but there is a sense that I got much like the “pink is oppressive” feeling my girlfriend had. I really thought about buying a Star Wars box with Mace Windu so I can have the brown parts I want. The thing is, too many companies are trying to sell a homogenized product which is much more disturbing than just being color blind. You almost get this assimilation is futile feeling these days because despite everything that happens there is only one color that matters and that is green.

Money is the only thing that matters and it’s the only thing that separates us once you get past the oppression of racism because beyond that is an invisible wall of classism with a strong undercurrent of patriarchy…and THAT is what Disney maybe be truly about.

NBA Basketball, racism

Clipping Oblivious Racism

One thing you should know about me is that I like to point out some things when it comes to race and discrimination. I often like to talk about how there is this belief that racism doesn’t really exist and the varying degrees in which people view race and oppression. The last few days we’ve been witnesses to the shit show that is The L.A. Clippers ownership. No one is surprised by this which is, in itself, a horrible thing to admit. Yet, The Clippers’ players did what so many of us who have worked for someone who is racist wished, they protested.

Here is the issue that I have with all this (besides the obvious), the anti-racists and all the other people that think racism is a thing of the past have someone to point to. Everyone is always ready to talk about the obvious racism instead of the oblivious racism. Donald Sterling has become the villain that we all can rally against and have discussions about, which is good but this is the chance to really talk about the racist people (and the policies) we don’t see at the work place.

Interestingly enough this comes at a time when the Supreme Court has ruled that Affirmative Action is now in the hands of the states. People like Justice Roberts think that people can just stop being racist. Perhaps there is an on and off switch that I’m not aware of but if this incident with Donald Sterling has taught us anything, institutional racism starts at the top. I’m sure that are many of business executives in high levels of business that feel the same way and even if there are many that do not share these sentiments, I betting that very few would fight against this thought process.

x1zxepjjeto5hjc2fvet So I applaud The Clippers for their protest and the NBA players in general for showing a sense of unity. My fear is that this will be pushed under the rug eventually. This may all blow over because not enough of the right people are saying anything. Where are the other owners? They can express their “discontent” privately but we need to hear them publicly. Their silence only proves my point and I’m not talking about the silence about the latest racist remarks via TMZ either. There has been an ongoing issue with Donald Sterling and the way he has treated black employees and tenants of his buildings. No one has said a thing and in fact, the NAACP has given him awards (Best Plantation Owner).

The old boy network protects their own. He may get admonished and take a public relations beating but guess what? If he does sells the team, it will be for BILLIONS of dollars and he will still win in terms of monetary equity. So while we may point to this man as the enemy and deem him to be the worst of all racists today, it’s really just a blip on his radar. This is why institutional racism is so much more dangerous than the obvious forms because men like him in the long run lose nothing.

I wish I had an easy answer but racism in all its forms is indeed a complicated issue. Now is the time to figure out what side you’re on because people are taking notes. One thing is for sure, there is no place for racism is this society, but are are we willing to fight it in every form or only when it rears it head via a celebrity?

5K, ACUI, Barnard College, my life, Novel

Two Goals Down. #acui14

I made a list of goals (as I do at the end of every year) that I’ve been working on. I’ve been fortunate enough to complete two of these goals during my trip to Florida. Yeah, the place where I know I would never live, but my father does live near Orlando so trips to this state have to happen. What made it even better for me was that the ACUI Conference I was scheduled to attend basically made my travel plans much easier.

So just like that the first goal was already done. I wanted to visit my dad and step mother because it had been almost 5 years since I’ve been there and that is just totally unacceptable. Sure, I’ve seen them in NYC and even in the Dominican Republic, but I knew early on last year when I heard about this conference location that I was going to make it my business to visit family.

However, the other goal was for me to run a 5k at some point this year. In my head, I wanted to do this before I hit 40 in June. I circled April 9th on the calendar because I knew that the ACUI Fund Run would be that opportunity. The thing is, I know myself. I know that it wouldn’t take much for me to back out which is why I told no one that I was running this race. I signed up for this race last year in St. Louis but I backed out because sleep was my friend.

So, I knew in December I was going to try to do this. I did the best I could, in this cold ass winter that we had, to run and prepare. Of course, what discouraged me is that I would have to get up at like 5:30am on the day of the race so I can be up and ready to register at 6am. Despite the several beers I had the night previous and going to bed around 3am, I managed to get my ass up to run this race. How did I do it? Let me tell you a little story about that.

When you go to a conference, you should be personally challenged. You should be able to meet new people and rekindle old and existing professional relationships. I was on a panel the first day of the conference called Men of Color: Retention in the Profession. It was in that session that a fellow colleague sitting on the panel with me, Hayden Greene said, “You need to be a participant in the environment in which you want to thrive.” Those were very powerful words for me at the time because if there was any doubt on whether I needed to give myself to every part of this conference, it was gone at that moment. The 5k wasn’t just about me it was about being a part of something larger and like most conferences, these activities are there to help you get to your desired position in life.

So at any point if I felt socially inept, I thought about that one quote and when that alarm went off at 5:30am, I got up without hitting the snooze. I dragged myself down there with my Barnard sweatshirt prepared to run my legs off. The amazing thing about all of this was that there were so many people that were up that morning ready to do the struggle along with me through this course. Luckly, when the race began, I was able to latch on to a friend that I met two years ago in Boston and we pushed each other because after the first mile, I was ready to go back to bed.

So less than 40 minutes later (39:27 to be exact, because you know I just had to time myself), I managed to cross the finish line. No one there, except my buddy Jaime, knew how much of an accomplishment this was for me. That 5k represents all the things that I said I would do that I finally did. It made me think about this novel and how of a long road it’s been. It made me think about all the goals I have yet to accomplish. I can and will finish what I set out to do. It may just take me longer than I thought.