Screen shot 2014-06-12 at 8.52.01 AMI don’t feel 40. I woke this morning the same as always. There is no noticeable difference. Of course when I look in the mirror I see gray hairs on my chin. Sure, I started to grow those things about five years ago but they are sprouting up at an accelerated rare. Once I shave those bad boys off, 40 is something I don’t even closely resemble.

40 just means surviving 4 decades as I enter my 5th. It means another era where I get to define, or perhaps redefine what I am. I remember thinking as a kid about what it would feel like to even be this age. What would I be like? What would I have accomplished? Now I look at my life and see that I have so much left to do.

It almost feels like a fresh start. Being young and twenty was nice but being young also means being really stupid. There is this aura that being that young meant I knew everything which really means I knew nothing. Being thirty now seems like I was trying so hard to be this productive adult I wanted to be when I was twenty. Yet all the good times and bad times have shaped me to what I am right now.

I can already tell that that I have a sense of wisdom that comes from being 40 and not in the Shaolin Master kind of way. I find it useful that I can draw from life experience when it comes to making a decision. Having a hunch about something when you’re younger is not the same when you have experience. I’m grateful for having being able to learn and grow from my mistakes.

I wont think about any of the negative things that come with being 40 (like prostate exams) I would rather focus on future prospects like 5k runs and book signings. I anticipate this decade being bigger and better as strive for personal greatness. I still have so much to prove to myself. I still have so many goals to set and achieve.


It is crazy. In a few days I turn 38 and thus the slow crawl to the big FOUR OH begins. I look back at past year and see all the things that have happened over the year and I either smile or shake my head. Even more interesting is to realize that a few days ago marked my 20th anniversary of my High School graduation. Nothing makes you feel older than finding relics when you are moving.

However, I still maintain that you are only as old as you feel. As I write this, I do feel older than last year, of course it could be that I just finished moving out of my house and I am very sore.  I will say that my mindset is an ever evolving thing. If you would have told me last year that in one year I would have a girlfriend, sold my house, achieved my first A grade, became a writer for the Huffington Post, and go to Boston, I would have called you a liar.

Even one of those things would have been a shock. Yet, several things seem to remain in my way that I have not even solved yet. I am still in Syracuse. That is something that I will just leave on the table. I have been talking about leaving for years now. It just hasn’t happened. I have taken steps to ensure that I can go at any time, but a job eludes me. I am hoping that I am not forced to take the ultimate risk. The other thing is the book. It costs money for me to self publish. Every time I have the money, it goes to a bill or to some life event that needs to be paid for. This is another thing I would like to get done and I hope that it can be done before 39.

I am grateful for another year. Time sure does fly when you are having fun. I really wanted to take the time to enjoy my life and appreciate those who are always there for me. I have taken a notable and noticeable shift in my life when I decided that I simply cannot make anymore excuses. People have been cut from my life over the last year both willingly and unwillingly because as an adult, hard choices have to be made. I have spent less time on this blog and writing in general because I need to take care of the non creative things in my life. I also had to throw myself into school and work.

I expect my birthday to be epic. 2 years ago I spent it alone and I told myself I will never do that again. I plan on seeing some friends and family. I look forward to talking about where we have been and perhaps where we will be in the future. Where I once thought it was better to be a loner as a kid, I realize that good friends can generate happiness in so many other ways.

I am wiser because of my interactions, both good and bad. If someone asks me how old I am, I will take advice from Indiana Jones and say, It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.

The Plan

Well…I don’t normally talk about it, so I will just get it over with. Tomorrow is just another day. Even though I turning 36, I am used to it not being a very big deal.  I do have a plan on how I will spend the day. I am documenting this mainly so I can keep it all together.

I am thinking of getting up somewhat early. Depending on that, I was going to walk Rocky around the neighborhood. This is all based on weather because I think it may rain so it is possible this may not happen. I was thinking about going to I-Hop for some pancakes because they are made from crack.

The World Cup continues tomorrow. The United States takes on England at about 1pm. I am all over that. I am not into fútbol as much as the rest of the world, but I think this should be entertaining. After that, I am going to the mall. I received a gift card from Express and the means I get to buy a shirt. While I am there I will swing by the comic book store and do what I need to do…lol

I will stop by the Apple store and buy a iTunes gift card using the birthday money that my father gave me. I can buy some music and movies and be set. While I am there I am going to the movies. I want to see The Karate Kid and the A-Team. Depending on my time I may see the first and wait later for the latter.

After all that, I will make myself a nice dinner. Arroz con Maiz with Steak and maduros. I have taken the liberty of buying some wine, one cup cake, and some candles (they don’t just sell one…lol). I will light it up and drink the night away as I watch Nip/Tuck on DVD (of course I will fit the Mets game somewhere in there).

This is the plan for tomorrow. Happy Birthday to me.

P.S. I totally forgot I came back with a small bottle of Brugal from DR…oh this gets better…lol

Light at The End of The Tunnel

The school year is almost over. This is always interesting time because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but to get to that light I have to go through a shit load of work. This weekend is called Greek Unity Fest (even though there is unification of anything). Which is includes a concert, step show, and dance party. Which is all good for the students. For me, this is the last student event I have to deal with until August.

But then there is graduation. Which is just a series of long days before the summer starts. Commencement is always a bittersweet time. I get to say good boy to students that I have know for 4 years. Some which I have grown close to. While I am happy they are graduating, there is the feeling of loss at some point because I am not sure when I will see the again. I do consider one person in particular to be a little brother I never had.

Once class ends and the summer begins there is always this feeling like…ok what do I do now? While I do have plans in some parts of the summer. I have no idea what I am doing for my birthday. I have had some ideas, which will require me taking some vacation time. But, right now it is all thoughts. Nothing concrete.

I am turning 35 this year and I feel like I can do more with my life. Work takes up a lot of my time and I find that I do not have as much time for myself as I should. I am trying my best to save money for things I want to do. The thought of getting a second job has entered my mind frequently. The problem for me is that I value my time way to much to be working 2 jobs.

Regardless…I am focused to get past these last few weeks so I can start enjoying my summer….

Lessons Learned

{Originally Posted on Myspace}

As my birthday approaches, I wanted to go over the list of things I have learned over the last year or so. I was thinking about these this morning:

Skunks are bad,Very BAD!
Dont get your car towed, not fun.
Confetti at a house party is never a good idea;
Neither are she-males…at the same party.
Someone in my office has a BIG mouth.
Kanye West is the man! So is Big Daddy Kane (stop eating so much, Kane)
Text Messaging is too addicting.
The warning labels on the cans of insulation actually mean something. (Dont Ask)
Never anger Josie in the morning or at night. (Still working on that)
Never mow the lawn when it is wet.
Check if you have toilet paper on the roll…BEFORE you sit down.
Dog shit is not fertilizer.
Mice can sure squeal loud.
Comic books are an expensive habit, so is Josies love for COACH
Toronto has the cleanest trains.
Cell Phones dont work well fully submerged in water.
Then again, always check you pockets before diving in a pool.
Never wait for your mother in law to navigate traffic in Puerto Rico (Solo Salida!)
Luqillo Beach (P.R) is the best beach in the world.

That pretty much sums up my year. Paz!

Guess Who’s Back?

{Originally Posted on Xanga}

That is right…I am back. My old site was…well old. Like me. I just turned 30 on the 12th. Well I can tell you that I am now starting from scratch. If you really want to see my old site…well I guess I will give you a glimpse…later

I was having trouble with my old blogger and I got sick of it, so I am trying something new. I will, however, include an entry that I wrote that was never published because of these damn issues. So this will be my new home for now. I will still contain links to my original site for shits and giggles.

A lot has been going on with me lately. Had my folks up here from my b-day and father’s day. That went well. My job is stressing me for reason I will not get into, but it does effect my career choices from here on out…and no I am not leaving SU or my current job.
There is a new feature…You can comment on my posts…and the jury is still out on weather I like that or not. Time will tell. Anyway…here is the old post that I could not publish. I wrote this on June 3rd….

It has been awhile…and as I sit here looking at this blank screen with just the words that I type, I ponder the last 30 years of my life. If you don’t know I turn 30 on the 12th of this month. I don’t feel 30…I still feel like a kid. I mean I still watch cartoons (Justice League Rocks!), play video games, collect comics, and any other childish thing that I get kick out of. However I feel wiser and I feel a lot smarter. I have learned a lot in my tenure at Syracuse University. I realized that I learn just as much from the students I interact with as they learn from me.

Today’s post will not be the normal amusement that I usually provide because this is more of a reflection. Don’t get me wrong. There are tons of stupid shit that I witness all the time. For example my damn dogs escaped AGAIN. This time both of them were gone. Fucking Bonnie and Clyde. They end up in someone else’s yard…geez. As I get older I realize I can effect students and that I actually have people listening to what I say…and I tell ya, that is a surprise. I was the type of kid that was pulled at both ends from parents that want to kill each other in a bloody divorce. I was the type of kid that NO girls looked at. I was the type of kid that was picked on because I was small and skinny (thanks to my lovely wife for feeding me all the time…you can call me Buddha now). I was the type of kid that felt that nothing I did or will do ever matter.

Well I was wrong.

What I do…matters. White people in my industry don’t see me coming. They don’t know what to make of me. Is he black? Is he lazy? Is he a thug? No…no…and no. Latino is a new term to people. As if Sammy Sosa is the only dark Latino that ever existed. To most Americans…there are Mexicans…and Sosa. The rest of us are a different version of black. So they don’t see me coming nor do they understand “Preciosa” blaring from my office…

{Editors Note: This was my first blog on Xanga}

Birthday Bumps

{Originally Posted on Blogger}

November 1st!!! Wow, I cant really believe it. This year has gone slow for me with all this shit to do. Well I got up this morning, barely scratching my nuts, and I hear this noise. Drip. Drip. Drip. I go into that bathroom and the ceiling is leaking right into the tub!!! It is a minor leak so no big deal. My wife calls the landlord and tells him about how it is raining in the bathroom. So within 10 minutes he is at our apt. He looks at it and tells us that or upstairs neighbors never put the curtain in the shower when they use it….thus we get the after wash.

Now let me tell you about my neighbors. They are not from this country. I am thinking they are from India or somewhere in the Mesopotamian region. I know one of them from work. He is one of the computer techs. So ever since they moved in they have been mad loud. First, they kill my ceiling, walking like they are trying to kill fucking scorpions. I figured they walk hard because they are use to sand and they are now on wood floor. Second, I don’t know what the fuck kind a music they listen to…but I swear there is some belly dancing going on up there. Thirdly, one of them laughs like a gypsy. They must have a genie in a lamp.

So the other night, they were just unbelievably loud. My wife is in bed, so I rush upstairs. I though there were 5 or 6 of them up there. So I knock and the kid I know opens the door. He greets me and I am like “what the fuck are u doing?”. So he laughs and says…”have some cake!” I look around and there are only 3 of them. 3!!! all this time I am thinking they had a fucking village up there. So he tells me that it is his roommate’s birthday and they were giving him “birthday bumps”. Great, sounded like they were fucking him. Now to give you a feel for this apt..which was messy. It smelled like curry and feet! All 3 were barefoot.

To make a long story short, I had some cake and I told them to quit the shit.