38

It is crazy. In a few days I turn 38 and thus the slow crawl to the big FOUR OH begins. I look back at past year and see all the things that have happened over the year and I either smile or shake my head. Even more interesting is to realize that a few days ago marked my 20th anniversary of my High School graduation. Nothing makes you feel older than finding relics when you are moving.

However, I still maintain that you are only as old as you feel. As I write this, I do feel older than last year, of course it could be that I just finished moving out of my house and I am very sore.  I will say that my mindset is an ever evolving thing. If you would have told me last year that in one year I would have a girlfriend, sold my house, achieved my first A grade, became a writer for the Huffington Post, and go to Boston, I would have called you a liar.

Even one of those things would have been a shock. Yet, several things seem to remain in my way that I have not even solved yet. I am still in Syracuse. That is something that I will just leave on the table. I have been talking about leaving for years now. It just hasn’t happened. I have taken steps to ensure that I can go at any time, but a job eludes me. I am hoping that I am not forced to take the ultimate risk. The other thing is the book. It costs money for me to self publish. Every time I have the money, it goes to a bill or to some life event that needs to be paid for. This is another thing I would like to get done and I hope that it can be done before 39.

I am grateful for another year. Time sure does fly when you are having fun. I really wanted to take the time to enjoy my life and appreciate those who are always there for me. I have taken a notable and noticeable shift in my life when I decided that I simply cannot make anymore excuses. People have been cut from my life over the last year both willingly and unwillingly because as an adult, hard choices have to be made. I have spent less time on this blog and writing in general because I need to take care of the non creative things in my life. I also had to throw myself into school and work.

I expect my birthday to be epic. 2 years ago I spent it alone and I told myself I will never do that again. I plan on seeing some friends and family. I look forward to talking about where we have been and perhaps where we will be in the future. Where I once thought it was better to be a loner as a kid, I realize that good friends can generate happiness in so many other ways.

I am wiser because of my interactions, both good and bad. If someone asks me how old I am, I will take advice from Indiana Jones and say, It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage.