goals – Page 2 – Anthony Otero

..and I Ran, I Ran so Far Away…

My legs hurt. They need to hurt because I put this off for far too long. Monday I finally ran again and it was one of the hardest things I have done in a while. At this point, Ice skating was easier. I made running a specific goal that I had to accomplish and keep doing in 2012. I am not entirely sure how I stopped but I am pretty sure it involved an excuse.

It is amazing how much in rhythm I have to be in order to run the way I want to. I didn’t have head phones so I had to buy some. Normally, I would go home and find some or I would just skip that day because I needed the music to focus on. But, the rhythm I am talking about is far more than just the music. Just getting on the treadmill felt foreign to me as if I had never done it before. The only thing that I did remember was what my favorite treadmill was and how to program it, although I ended up doing that wrong as well.

It felt good to get that first quarter mile down, but then the pain started. It was right then that I knew how far I had fallen from my own grace. I had been in a little bit of denial with how out of shape I was and my body confirmed it for me. The rest of the run was a battle of will power and agony. I would be lying if I said I ran the entire 2.5 miles, but I never stopped moving until the time was done. It turned out that I programmed more time that usual but I was not going to stop because that.

If you ever run on a treadmill you will know that when you run for the first time in a long time that your body still feels like it is moving even after you stop. So getting off the treadmill without looking like you are still running at 5.5 speed is a challenge when your quad muscles are aching. My intention was not to limp off the machine, but I would not be surprised if that was exactly what it looked like. I walked slowly on purpose and going down a set of stairs to get to the locker room is no fun at all.

I ran but I paid the price for stopping in the first place. My legs still hurt when I played racquetball yesterday but the workout is not the same and it did not affect my mobility until I caught a cramp in my calf. This is yet another sign of me losing that stamina and physical prowess that I once had. More importantly I lost that rhythm that I had to get through my regimen. It took me awhile to even get into the games I was playing.

I almost dread running tomorrow. I will do it because I possess the motivation and the drive. I will do it because I want to get that rhythm back in everything I do in my life. More importantly, I will do it because despite the pain, I have run out of excuses.

goals, my life

Investing in Myself

I made a list of 30 things that I need to do within the next 30 days. I want to start 2012 correctly. I am back in Syracuse contemplating the future I have been shaping in my head over the last few weeks. Some things on the list are simple and others are complicated to say the least. The things that I’m concerned about have a little bit of fear behind them. But, I need to overcome that fear in order to do the one thing I have been thinking about, which is investing in myself.

Let’s think about how that sounds. Investing suggests money being put into something in order to make that something better. Investing also requires time to develop that something with the money that has been put behind it. I have been spending money on things that I do not want or need and its now time to think about me and what I need. I’m not saying that I am going to buy big ticket items either, this means that I’m tired of barely making it from paycheck to paycheck. I spoke about risks last week and part of investing in myself takes risks that I am fully willing to take.

I do plan on paying the bills that have helped me live paycheck to paycheck. I just plan on being smarter about things. I work hard and barely get what I want so now it is time to change things up. They say that insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting the different results, well I got news for you, I am not insane. There is nothing crazy about taking risks in order to be successful.

As I write this, I can cross off 2 things I have already done and I hope to cross off 5 more by the end of the day. Interestingly enough, most of the things on this list do not require me to spend money. It is just little things that will help my quality of life this year. I plan on getting rid of many things in my possession. I want to clear away the things that are unused and unwanted. I am not a hoarder per say but I’ve been so used to living that stagnant life that I have not recognized when its time to let go. However, letting go of things is just the tip of the iceberg. There are things that I just do not care about that I haven’t gotten rid of because I just don’t care about them.

The irony is that I need to care about those things I do not care about for the sake of time and space. While there may be things that I don’t do because of fear, there are things I do not do because I could care less, which is just as bad. When you don’t care about something it shows. We tend to put in the time for the things we care about the most. This does not mean that we do not care fully about the things we tend to neglect it just means that our focus is on something else.

Which is another problem I have in terms of focus. I lose focus very easily because I tend to get bored. My mind is always racing to the next thing and I lose focus on the present. I am not sure how I intend on fixing this but, this is the very reason why I make lists. I need that constant reminder that I need to come back down to Earth to do do the things I need to do. I know it sounds like a bit of procrastination and for the most part it is, but when I care to do something I do it quickly.

This all plays a part in the investing into myself. I need to take the time to care about the little things. I can have the fancy dreams and the goals but all of those have a foundation of the small details. Truth be told, I got tired of talking all that shit last year that it is time to take action for this year. I am motivated by the fact that I want to stop being afraid of success. I want to stop making the “I was going through a divorce” excuse and just do it.

goals, money, my life

If I had $250 Million…

Yesterday was a very interesting day in sports with Albert Pujols signing a huge deal with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. For those who know anything about baseball or just sports in general know that Pujols is the best player in Baseball right now. In fact, I think he may go down as one of the top 10 players ever. With this being the case, of course he has the ability to get top value for his talents thus signing a 10 year, $254 Million deal. That is about $25 Million dollars a year!

But, it makes me wonder what I would do with all that money. This amount is just about unfathomable to me because it is so ridiculous. I am sure there are is a certain lifestyle that one would automatically live with that kind of money, but I gotta say that being debt free would be amazing. My first checks would be to pay off the car, the house, and that damn Salle Mae. I would take care of all and any debt that I currently have because I cannot stand bills.

Before people start any thoughts toward judgement, one must walk in the shoes of people who have been divorced. It is damn difficult to live a life in which two incomes were needed to live the life they had. It is not like any bill collector has a divorce option. It is not like they will reduced payments or take into consideration that there is a hardship. So being debt free is something that is would be far more liberating than having the money to do just about anything.

The next thing I would do is pay off mortgages and/or student loans for those whom I love. Various friends and family would not have that burden. My nephew would get a free education from this moment on. This would be my way of paying back the people who have always supported me. Life is so much easier when you do not have to worry about paying off things that you own.

I would start my own publishing company. I feel that books and reading are so important in this life. It would be an upstart company for those who want to be published but do not want to self publish. This would be my full time “job”. I would travel the world not only to see things I never seen before but to also gain inspiration for future writing endeavors of mine. I would also go back to school worry free of tuition and the time constraints of employment.

It would also be great if I could create scholarship for students who apply themselves academically but also are involved in their campus communities. There is much to be said for student leaders on campuses across America. I am not so sure they get recognized for the hard work they do to put on programs and workshops. Leadership skills should be rewarded to those who demonstrate how to be a leader. I would start that scholarship at Syracuse University.

I would invest my money in projects of fellow alums that need someone to believe in them. I would also invest monies in the market so that I cant continue maintaining that large amount of money in order do things I want to do. I would give money back to communities that need building. I am not out right saying I would be a landlord but I think fixing up houses and buildings in dilapidated neighborhoods helps build confidence within any community.

No, I would not live in a mansion. I do not desire to do that. I don’t even think I would live in a house, although I would own land. I would like to live in a place that is suitable for me and a possible small family in NYC. I would own one car that would probably be expensive but that would be my personal gift to myself. While I would have nice things, I doubt that I would spend crazy amounts of money on articles of clothing or unnecessary things.

Having all the money opens up so many things for me and for the people I care for. It would be nice if my children could have an education free of student loans and not because I work for a university. Clearly I am writing this as a broke 37 year old man so I would hope that money would not define me. But the things is, I just don’t know. Money has a way of change people as well as circumstances. Just like that saying goes.. “absolute power corrupts absolutely“

What I do know is that I know what is to survive on less than a 100 dollars between pay checks. I am mature enough to understand that even though I cannot take the money with me when I die, I can leave a legacy…

…and leaving a legacy is much easier when you have $250 million in your pocket.

goals, my life

Goals for 2012

It may be early December, but I don’t think it is early enough to start talking about goals for 2012. I feel that I need to get a leg up on the next year. This year has been filled with many surprises and disappointments that I am just going to look at the next year to continue my on going journey back to New York City. I have come up with five goals I need to complete in addition to sub goals that should help me. Besides, do I really what to create a set of New Year’s resolutions? I think I would rather set goals. A resolution is an expression of an intent. A goal is an objective that you can plan for, which is why I want I think about this now as opposed to 3 weeks from now.

Getting a job in NYC is my first goal. This is not a new thing. I have been trying to do this for two years now. The interviews themselves are hard to come by when you compare it to the number of applications that I submit. It seems that looking for employment is almost a full time job. I have been at this for about two years and I have only gotten interviews from five institutions.

Which brings me to my sub goal, getting more interviews. The odds will work in my favor if I can increase the amount of opportunities that I get. I am still trying to figure out if being in Syracuse is a reason why I am getting overlooked in the first place, which is why I am going to get some additional help. Employment counseling is my primary focus for the moment. I need someone to evaluate me and my skills in a interview as well as looking at my resume to tell me where I may be going wrong.

When it comes down to it, I need to Publish this book. I have already named it, My Twisted Life Through Lines of Poetry. I have already written all the subsequent poems that will be in it, I just need to buy the ISBNs required to publish. $250 is a lot of money to me and I was about to pull the trigger about a week ago but, this is the holiday season and I know that I will be in NYC for at least two weeks and I am really not trying to come up short with any kind of money. I am looking to make this purchase at the end of the year to start the designing of this publication. I may have just found the cover photo too (see above).

Getting all this done will require me to do more Performances and Get More Speaking Gigs. Let’s be real here, I need to get off my ass and put in the work. However, I believe in my heart of hearts that I need to get the publication going off the ground before I go out there and tell people that I have a book coming out. It will sound superficial and ridiculous if I don’t. The only person who can market me at the moment is me. I am making the personal commitment that this is one thing that needs to be done.

I need to Take Care of Myself. Over the last year in a half I have fallen off this routine that I have had. I finally admitted to myself that I have let my own personal health go. I am not saying that I have been getting sick because that is not the case. I think I have been in good health, but I know where I was in 2009. I need to get back on the health kick. Sure, I stopped drinking soda and replaced it with water in my diet, but with lack of exercise is noticeable to me. I wont even get into the fact that I need to see the dentist more as well get a check up. One requires money I don’t currently have.

However, I think Running Again will put me back on track and make me feel great about life in general. I did buy a pair of running shoes to replace the old ones that I literally ran to the ground. I am not sure what it was about this year that made me fall off my running game, but I am not going to let that happen next year. After all the holiday mess at the end of this month, I am going to change my diet to something that is worthy of a runner. I will say this, I gave up Splenda last month and I think that is a fabulous start.

I have not spoken about this in a very long time but, I need to Get another Roommate. At the beginning of this year, I had 3 roommates and things were good. One decided to leave due to issues with the other two. It was a fluke to even have the the 3rd roommate anyway given the condition of that room. It needs some work done on it. I need to spackle and paint the walls and one window needs to be replaced.

Sure, the room is livable right now if someone really wanted it. It is not in terrible shape but, a fresh coat of paint and a new window will go a long way. What am I waiting for? Right now I do not have a window replacement budget. I can but the window from Lowes because I have already researched that, it is not too expensive but who is going to install it? Exactly….I need money for that.

Lastly, I think this may go without saying, but I think I need to Be a Better Man. I think in many ways I fail to live up to my own standards of what I think a man should be. A man should be able to deal with all the issues that I have listed above./ I have many of these issues due to self doubt or poor decision making in the past. So, I am looking at things now in order to just be a better person, but being a better man means being a role model and a leader amongst other men. I am not sure I do as well as I could with this.

I also want to Be a Better Boyfriend. This is not to say I am a bad boyfriend right now but, I feel that my past relationships have ended in part because I was not mature enough deal with what life was throwing at me. I think that I could have done things better and handled myself better. I want to be more than I was before because I am not longer afraid of holding back for whatever reason. I think that my relationship with my mother haa gotten better and the fact that I want to move back to NYC to be with family makes me more compassionate and understanding. In short, I want to experience a romance that I have denied myself for far too long.

I would encourage you all to think about goals rather than resolutions. I am tired of making resolutions I cannot meet because I didn’t have a plan. I would much rather plan out a goal so I can prove to myself that life gets better as I get older.

goals, love, my life, New York City

Love and Balance.

Yes. I know… It has been a long time. Work has been incredibly busy over last few weeks and it has been difficult to get a moment to write. Now that I am currently in New York City for Thanksgiving, I think that I now have the gumption to write whatever comes to mind. This is a bit of a free write because I need to get back to it. I need to get back on the writing tip because it can be so easy to get off that ride.

I have to say that I have my groove back. I have finally got my love life in a place where I want it to be and it is fantastic! When I started this blog in 2009, I was not sure where I would be. I was looking at failed marriage and began to believe that being in a good relationship was something that I may never achieve, but when the world is looked upon negatively, the thought of anything good does not surface.

I finally had the privilege to post my relationship status on Facebook and while that sounds kind of cheesy it is actually a big step. The start of a new relationship is always a big deal after the ending of an old one, especially if that end was a divorce. It makes the process of moving on and living a life of happiness complete. Not everyone moves on to another relationship after a marriage because it is not as easy as one would think. There is the battle to get over oneself. We all have issues and the thought of sharing those with someone else can be almost unbearable for some.

As for me. I feel like an adult. I know that sounds weird coming from a 37 year old man, but I have been surviving what I once considered a mess of a life. There are parts of my life that I still need to rectify but those take time based on financial issues. Yet, I survive because I watched my dad survive. I learned from him how to deal with life when it gives you lemons. I am very close to my goals and any forward movement toward them feels like a battle won.

What has really makes me feel good is the support that I get from friends and colleagues. They see the passion I have to move back to NYC and the love I have for the woman in my life. All the dues that I have paid to the universe in the form of both good and bad karma has seemed to make me very fortunate. I find myself developing my personal relationship with God. I pray from strength when I need it because I know that I need to achieve my hearts desire, I do not expect it handed to me. I pray for strength because I am tired of living in fear. I am tired of being afraid of failing. So I battle through it all because I am determined to make it.

Then there are the people that who do not support me. Those who look like the could be a friend but really criticize me when I am not around. I know they exist and I also have a general idea who they are. I want to thank them because their comments and negative provides the rest of the fuel that I need to motivate myself. I have not been one to subscribe to the notion that I have haters, but all adults who strive for the best have them. I still do not pretend to be a perfect man and I will continue to make mistakes but the negativity makes it easier to give less than a f*ck about what people think.

I will strive to finish what I start. I want to live in harmony with my various worlds in sync. I want my professional life to be as good as my love life and my family life to be just as good as my social life. I am looking for balance and I think I have completed that first step.

goals, my life, November Media Group, Utica

I am Official!

I wrote this as I sipped on some red wine and thought about my goals last Friday…

I know that I have spent a good amount of time talking about my application to Sarah Lawrence and expressing how badly I want to get in. However, I have other projects that I have in the works that will great benefit me whether or not I get into graduate school or not.

It started with my speaking engagement at Utica last year. I very much enjoyed speaking in front of an audience. It is something that I feel shaped much of my decision to go to grad school. The only problem I had with the entire process was with the contract. There was nothing wrong with it per say, but I know that things can get muddy if a contract is not up to par. So before I signed it, I had it looked over by a good friend of mine who just happens to be a talent agent.

He looked it over and told that the contract was legit, of course because it was from a college. I just wanted to make sure there was nothing there that I had to be concerned with. He then looked at me and told me that he could get me more money. During that time it was not about the money for me. I just wanted this experience to see if this was something I could do. Earlier that semester I had went to a lecture by Eduardo Bonilla-Silva and seeing what he does made me think that public speaking was something that I could do.

As expected, I loved the gig. I still think about it as a fond memory. Utica will always stick out in my mind as the first time I was able to do something on my own. However, a problem had arisen and I didn’t get paid in a timely manner and it worried me a bit. It was never a point that I thought I would not be paid, it was more that I do not want to imagine going through the lack of payment again. Sure I eventually got paid, but I knew that if I wanted to do this again, I need to do something different.

I ended up connecting with the November Media Group through that same friend who runs it. I would not consider this a plan B, but more of a supplemental plan that may work in my favor. One thing I learned from people like Bonnila-Silva and Juno Diaz is that presentation of written material is important. I have to be able to keep the audience interested just like I keep readers interested. More importantly, I think I have something to offer.

This isn’t just a favor that one friend can provide for another, this is me branding myself. I know that is kind of weird because I am so very much against the type of blogs that is all about the person and not about the writing, which is why my layout is what it is. But, I do understand the power of branding yourself. We are all caught in this world of social media and each of us has to carve out a niche.

Right now, this is something I am aiming towards: getting paid for my blogging and writing. The November Media Group site just went up last week and I want to make sure I ride this wave. Sure, there are some typos and tense issues in my bio (which I am not sure is my fault, but I should have caught), but they will be fixed soon enough and I am working on getting some professional photos done.

This is the next step and I am willing to take a leap of faith on myself. I am just happy because I feel that things are coming together. I am official! 🙂

goals, laptop, MacBook, my life

MacBook Cometh

This is my first (of many) posts in which I am using my MacBook Pro. If you are following me on twitter then this is not a new thing because I have been talking about my laptop. There is a reason for my lack of posts this month. My Dell laptop met it’s bitter end about a week and a half ago. So I have had to replace that with a MacBook Pro.

My old Dell laptop with
battle scars

It has been a goal since last year to get a MacBook. Money being what it was, I could not afford to do it so I decided to put that on hold until the right time. I also knew that my PC laptop was on its last legs since last spring. There was several things that were not working well. The screen light went out first. So I had to plug into monitor. Then the connections from the malfunctioning screen to the rest of the laptop broke so it was almost in 2 pieces.

That is what I was dealing with for about 2 years. I held back on purchases because I did not think it was essential. Technically, my laptop still worked. I just had to deal with the hardship until the time came in which I can get a new one. I really didn’t think that my hard drive would die so I guess I waited a little too long. However, I had been waiting for my Tax Refund so, I didn’t really wait all that long.

Funny thing is you never really think about all the stuff you have on a laptop. Thank God that I had already backed all my pictures on a portable hardrive. All my music was tucked away in my iPod and some of my movies were in my iPhone. My documents are all gone. However, my stories and poems are all copied in other places like email. So when I think about it, I really did not lose all that much. Well, at least nothing important.

The government finally decided to pay me yesterday and I promptly bought this Macbook. No, it is not the new one that has just come out. The SU Bookstore was selling this model (which used to be new) with a discount of $350 off with a free printer and an SU thumb drive. I could not beat this and buying it made me happy. I began to realize that this is yet another goal I can scratch off the list. I wanted this laptop for my very hopeful future at Sarah Lawrence.

First, let me say that it is an adventure to get music from an iPod to a Mac. However, I supposed that if it was meant to be easy Apple would have just came up with an app for it. So I have had to get some software for a very small fee and I am finally happy to say that I have about 99% of my songs back. This also makes very much appreciate all of my efforts to collect every piece of music I own.

Which beings me back to my thoughts. 10 years ago when I decided to leave New York City to come to Syracuse, it was an easy decision and in the grand scheme of thing, took minimal effort to move. There were no goals then. I just wanted out because I hated the direction my work career was going and 9/11 made living in the city hard to deal with. I just had to leave.

Fast Forward to 2011 and everything I do has to be a goal. The move back to NYC is becoming this epic deal that involves smaller goals being accomplished. It is funny that when I was 26, I could fly off from the seat of pants and not worry about…the future. Now, I am the 36 and future becomes something worth planning for. This may be one simple MacBook to you, but this is just symbol of what my future brings…

goals, my life, reflections, resolutions

Resolutions

Over the last couple of days, I had to really look back and ask myself what do I really want for this new year. Before the years was up, I really did not think about 2011 and what I may have in store of it. Alas, I did not want to get to a point where I felt I was just coasting through life. I need to make sure that I do everything I can to ensure my happiness even in times when I feel the most lazy.

I could have done many things better last year. I know that my biggest enemy is myself. It is like that for so many students that I see who come through my door. We tend to be our worst enemies because success is not an easy thing to attain. It is damn hard and many times it is easier to make excuses rather than battle through whatever obstacle is in our path. I feel that I have been lazy last year. I was so busy waiting for things to happen that I lost sight of many goals. I cannot do that anymore. Even as I type this, I know how hard it is to stay motivated.

So for the sake of my sanity, yesterday, I created a list of resolutions that I need to work on for 2011. These are not superficial things. These are things that I need to do in order to get back to the essence of me. I have always been able to look at the potential of others, now I have to look at my potential. I have struggled to recognize my worth for the longest time and now that I have gotten a sense of that, I need to figure the perimeters of my potential.

I want to start by clearing my credit card debit. Now, my debt as whole is larger that just credit cards, and a lot of that is due to owning a home, but I want to concentrate on this seemingly small portion because I need to put my money to better use. I think that by doing this I can afford more and worry less. Now that I have three roommates, I think that I can fulfill this goal fairly easily. Do not get me wrong, I am not paying them all off and then discarding them, I want to pay them off and continue use them responsibly. Now that I am fully living the single life, I need to live a little more and have my money work for me.

Although I have been in relatively good health, I feel the need to get back to the work out regime that I had in 2009. I need to start running 3-4 times a week like I used to. I would use just about anything as an excuse to not run. I need to stop that. For months now I have been concerned that perhaps I started putting the weight back on that I lost 2 years ago. I have attributed my lack of soda drinking to my weight loss so the least thing that I have done is to continue to stop drinking it. However, I still feel that I may gained some back.

The funny thing is my pants still feel and look the same. So I do not feel a tightness, however, I feel like perhaps my shirts can be too small. Granted I am probably thinking too deeply into this because I am still relatively slim but, as I get older, things like diabetes and blood pressure may become an issue. In any case, I had to face whatever this feeling was that perhaps I am gaining weight back. When I was in Harvard last week, I weighed myself. I am 167 lbs and I was shocked. I am still relatively the same weight. Maybe my shirts are shrinking…

…the next day when I was having dinner with 2 of my paternal aunts, one mentioned that I am not as slim as I was last year. I heard that and I said to myself. I need to run.

I then thought about how quickly the 2 year anniversary of this blog is coming. I feel that I have at times neglected this site as well as my writing due to my laziness. I need to always make sure that I am on my game. Which is why I have decided to shoot for a goal of at least 175 blogs for 2011. That is about 15 entries a month until the end of the year (I rounded up). I need to push myself further so I make this be happy about what I can do with my writing. I know that I have used my tumblr account strictly for my poetry…but that may not be the case anymore. I think that site has become a whole another animal entirely.

With the thought of increasing the number of entires per month it is only natural that I think about broadening my audience. I would like to get more followers. I am not sure how I am going to do this. I feel that this blog is a product of me. I think that I share my stories and my journeys because I want to leave my mark on the world. However, I still know that I write for me and not for others and yet I want more people to follow me. I think that is just the nature of being a writer. I want people to read what I write with the understanding that I am not here for anyone in particular.

However, I am enjoying so very much the interactions I get on Facebook and I would love to continue that. I feel that I can get ideas from the people who read me. Often times when I am thinking about what to write it can almost be like a conversation and in many ways the Latinegro page has allowed me to have that conversation. So, I want more followers because I feel that I want more people to join into whatever conversation that I am having on here.

The final goal has been an on-going goal since 2009. I need to move back to NYC. I think in many ways I have been lazy about that to. Not that I have lost the desire, but more that I think I lost a little bit of hope last year. When I ended my last entry for 2010 I said that I wanted to hope more and dream less because I think I thrive on hope. While dreams are something we all have, I think people can spend too much of their time dreaming and less time living. I plan on getting back on my grind and getting back to NYC as soon as possible.

goals, my life, roommates

I Love it When a Plan Comes Together

Please cue up the 1980’s theme song to the A-Team. I have to tell you that I should treat my life as if it were an event. This way I can plan far ahead and situate all the details in such a way that when it comes down to it, all the pieces come together flawlessly.

Yesterday, the next stage in my plan to conquer my life has been set in motion. My 2nd roommate has arrived and is all moved in. I have already been paid and life is so good right now. I have been trying to get my life back on track financially and it has taken me longer than I has hoped. But, as I have come to learn this summer, things happen when they need to.

The best part about all this to me is the simple fact that both roommates are young adults. Which means they are young enough not to think that life sucks thus they are not stuck in this house and yet old enough to have a job which makes them appreciate a roof over their heads. I believe this works in my favor because I do not have to worry about things in terms of inconsiderate behavior, especially considering that they are both friends. Although, I need to be careful because I am such a night owl that I make wake both of them up with me just fumbling around.

Let me not forget that both of my roommates are like brainac level smart. Which is great when it comes to computer issues and nerdy conversations (which I am ALL about). One thing I did not need is having people that are not interesting live with me. I seemed to get all kinds of people when I posted on Craigslist. So, I am glad for the choices I made.

The plan is coming together. Phase one was to get the roommates in. Phase two is get this divorce final (damn New York State takes their time). Phase three is to get out of Syracuse and back to my hometown of New York City, which means either getting a job or going to grad school full time. Phase four is to get published (and this looks like this may happen sooner than expected).

Of course even the best laid plans do not always come to fruition which is why things seem to take longer for me. I equate it to writing and rewriting drafts. The first one doesn’t seem to come out well thus the second draft comes out better than the first. While I will admit that I may be in my first phase, this is just a small part of a larger plan to get my life to where I want it. In the beginning of the year, I was in a different mind state all together and with patience I am where I am now.

This is why I say that I do not regret my past. I have made choices for the good and the bad and no matter how things may have happened…I am who I am because it. To regret the past would be like regretting who I am as of this moment and I simple will not do that. So I keep my head pointing north and plan for the future.

P.S. I still live in the moment….