I made a list of 30 things that I need to do within the next 30 days. I want to start 2012 correctly. I am back in Syracuse contemplating the future I have been shaping in my head over the last few weeks. Some things on the list are simple and others are complicated to say the least. The things that I’m concerned about have a little bit of fear behind them. But, I need to overcome that fear in order to do the one thing I have been thinking about, which is investing in myself.
Let’s think about how that sounds. Investing suggests money being put into something in order to make that something better. Investing also requires time to develop that something with the money that has been put behind it. I have been spending money on things that I do not want or need and its now time to think about me and what I need. I’m not saying that I am going to buy big ticket items either, this means that I’m tired of barely making it from paycheck to paycheck. I spoke about risks last week and part of investing in myself takes risks that I am fully willing to take.
I do plan on paying the bills that have helped me live paycheck to paycheck. I just plan on being smarter about things. I work hard and barely get what I want so now it is time to change things up. They say that insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting the different results, well I got news for you, I am not insane. There is nothing crazy about taking risks in order to be successful.
As I write this, I can cross off 2 things I have already done and I hope to cross off 5 more by the end of the day. Interestingly enough, most of the things on this list do not require me to spend money. It is just little things that will help my quality of life this year. I plan on getting rid of many things in my possession. I want to clear away the things that are unused and unwanted. I am not a hoarder per say but I’ve been so used to living that stagnant life that I have not recognized when its time to let go. However, letting go of things is just the tip of the iceberg. There are things that I just do not care about that I haven’t gotten rid of because I just don’t care about them.
The irony is that I need to care about those things I do not care about for the sake of time and space. While there may be things that I don’t do because of fear, there are things I do not do because I could care less, which is just as bad. When you don’t care about something it shows. We tend to put in the time for the things we care about the most. This does not mean that we do not care fully about the things we tend to neglect it just means that our focus is on something else.
Which is another problem I have in terms of focus. I lose focus very easily because I tend to get bored. My mind is always racing to the next thing and I lose focus on the present. I am not sure how I intend on fixing this but, this is the very reason why I make lists. I need that constant reminder that I need to come back down to Earth to do do the things I need to do. I know it sounds like a bit of procrastination and for the most part it is, but when I care to do something I do it quickly.
This all plays a part in the investing into myself. I need to take the time to care about the little things. I can have the fancy dreams and the goals but all of those have a foundation of the small details. Truth be told, I got tired of talking all that shit last year that it is time to take action for this year. I am motivated by the fact that I want to stop being afraid of success. I want to stop making the “I was going through a divorce” excuse and just do it.