I am dedicating this blog to a friend, who last night, had her heart broken by a man that she loves. Her grief and anger are so very apparent and I feel bad because the words I have for her are not close to enough to soothe her. The fact that I understand provides very little comfort. The problem is that she loved a man that claims to not love her back. How does one recover from that? How do you tell someone to just move on when they are so very attached to the person they love.
Unrequited love is the worst kind of love. When you love someone and they do not return that love the feeling is often close to deep pains in the chest. Reactions to this situation can result in anger, depression, rage, and violence. But often times Unrequited love just results in deep sadness because no matter what, you will always love this person. The hardest part is that she may never know what his true feelings are. I cannot say what they are because I do not know. I can speculate, but what good will that do?
I want her to move on the best way she can. It is not good to hold on to anger. Sure, she is going to be sad, but that will pass in time. I believe she needs to accept that it is not meant to be with this dude. I find it hard to tell her this because she is angry! Sure, I can try to give her a glimmer of hope, but I am not sure that is the right thing to do.
What I want her to understand as well as myself is that life is full of opportunities. Each one of us is unique and special. We all have the potential to fall in love and have someone fall in love with us. The problem is that not everyone is ready to do so. We need to have faith that it will happen for us somewhere down the line. Some people are lucky to find their loves early in life. Others find it late in life. We all make mistakes and lose love…but that does not mean we should give up.
At one point she said that she would have rather never fall in love then ever feel this pain. I think that is a mistake. We all need to feel the good and bad sides of love to fully understand what it is we want. Once we know what it is to lose something then we will try no to lose it again if we are fortunate enough to get love again.
The best advice I have for her is that it is his loss. If he is willing to push aside someone who was willing to give him all the love in the world, then it is his loss.