If I had to tell a tale of my 30’s , it would be a tale of struggle, new experiences, opportunities gained, opportunities lost, and a road to a new chapter. My dear friends, my divorce is now final. My ex wife made the phone call to me this evening as I was dozing off. She told me that she received the letter today in the mail. I was in that sleepy shock.
There was a moment in which we were both silent over the phone. I think that was the moment in which we reflected on the last 8 years of marriage and 10 years of knowing each other. I am always amazed about how overwhelming finality can be. We all seem to underestimate how it feels to actually end anything. Is it no wonder that when athletes end their career it often times, ends in tears. While there were no tears for this I think there was mutual feeling that we finally ended something in our own terms and not in the way most people wanted.
Thus it is a start of a new chapter for me. I was 26 the last time I was truly single. I feel that with all this experience I have, I can write this new chapter of my life with very few issues. Which, in terms of writing, comes at a very good time considering that I do have to write an autobiography in about 1500 words for Sarah Lawrence College. I am more confident in the things that I want to do. I feel like I take care of myself better. The best part is that I don’t feel like I need a girlfriend. The possibility of me being alone is no longer a fear for me.
I feel that I have recognized all the things that I have done wrong and have done everything in my power to correct… me. What is funny to me is that the finalizing of this divorce comes at a time in which I normally reflect on the past year. Instead, I reflect on the past decade as I venture into the next one.
People have taken the time to congratulate me on this and while I am on my fifth glass of wine I can say, I am not sure that this is inappropriate. I do not think that people are celebrating a failure of a marriage but a creation a new journey for me. It is like have a celebration for a phoenix, a life cycle that is turbulent and ends in flames but then is reborn from the ashes…
2 thoughts on “A New Chapter”
Congratulations on turning the page. When two people can openly recognize that something has come to an end, I think that's a very mature thing (rather than forcing something that's not there). It's bittersweet but at least now you both can move on.
Congratulations indeed. I'm a divorcee too, so I remember how freeing it felt when it was finalized; like casting off a burden, like a metal band around my chest that wouldn't let me breathe had been removed. You've doubtless learned a great deal about yourself and your expectations of a partner from the experiences that led you here (in my case, I know I learned quite a bit about me that's helped me in the relationship that followed,) and I'm sure that only the best is ahead of you.
Sending you positive energy,