First let me just tell you that I am so excited to be at this point in my life. I never thought I be looking forward to going back to school, but you know what? This is just the beginning. When I clicked submit and all my materials were sent, I realized that I am at a different point in my life. I am not going to let anything stop me from what I want. I need to do this for myself.
Last year was rough but, I set myself up so well for this year. I have so many things in the works right now that if I play my cards right I may be able to attain the happiness that I have been craving so much for. Every obstacle that has been in my way has been a test of my resolve.
I also want to thank those who have always believed in me. Those who always tell me that I am brilliant writer even if I did not believe it myself. No matter if I get into Sarah Lawrence or not, this is just the beginning for me because I would have done this just a year ago. I stay humble because I am not perfect in anything that I do. There is always room for improvement and while I may roll my eyes when someone points out a spelling error on any of my blogs (and trust me there are quite a few), I appreciate the love and the critiques.
So sticking with my theme of just letting it all hang out on the blog, here is another bit of writing below to a question that Sarah Lawrence asked… “Why do you want to pursue graduate work…?”
I am current working at Syracuse University and one of the things that I have come to understand in the nine years of employment is that we ask young men and women from the ages of 18 to 22 to make a decision on what they want to do for the rest of their lives. The problem is that most people do not find themselves until they are about 30 years old and by that time they may be at a job they do not like and a marriage they cannot believe they are in. That is very close to my story.
I went to school at Syracuse University and I had no clue of what I wanted to do. I knew that I could write but I could never forget people telling me how much of a bad idea it was to be a writer particularly if I was not going into journalism. I chose to be a history major because that was something I excelled in really well in High School. But, once I started taking courses, I began to really dislike it. I was having a cultural awakening that made me take African American and Latin American History courses. I considered myself at an impasse because I did not want to be a history major anymore.
I tried switching to another school within the university but my grades were not good at all. I looked back at it now and I know that I did not apply myself. I was dealing so much with my parents’ divorce and the social pressures of just being a student in a predominately white institution. I found some of my courses to be uninspiring and thus I had trouble focusing. The courses I did well in were course that had to with culture. That changed when I became an English Major. I found that I really enjoyed reading and it only made my writing better.
When I graduated in 1996, I was stuck wondering what I was going to do about a job. Grad School was not an option for me at the time because I took the GRE and I didn’t do very well. I always had trouble with standardized tests and quite frankly, I felt I was done with school. I wanted to try my skills in the real world.
I bounced around several jobs and found myself back at Syracuse University as an employee. Of course, of benefits was taking courses for free. This time I felt that if I do take classes I would be ready. I originally chose to go the route of business degree to enhance my job skills, so as an introduction to the School of Management, I had me take a graduate Economics course. Even though this was just one class, I knew this would be the hardest thing I had to do. Math was not my subject and I also worked 60 hour weeks.
With all my hard work, I passed the course and proved to myself that I am ready for graduate school; however, I didn’t want to do business. I made the decision to try courses in the higher education field since I worked for Student Affairs, it made sense. I took two courses and I absolutely loved it. It combined the things that I liked: culture, writing, and reading. My grades further proved that I can handle graduate work. However, something was missing.
Once my marriage crumbled, I started my blog called “Inside my head”. I started writing so much that I could not stop. I found myself writing poems, short stories, and just about anything that came to mind. So, I have decided to take a chase and do something that I really love which is creative writing. The divorce has put my life into perspective and in a sense, I have found myself. Now, I just want to go to school to improve on a craft that I have been doing for years.