One of the good things that did happen to me in my week off in New York was my photo-shoot. This was something that I wanted to do since I joined the ranks of the November Media Group. I wanted to do it up here in Syracuse but that didn’t work out. At the time, I figured this would be great to sort of get myself amped up for my possible return to NYC since I was awaiting the letter from Sarah Lawrence.
I was told that I needed 3 outfits and I figured that would be easy since I had brought some nice clothes, including a new coat that I bought late last year. My photographer is Sandra Guzman from 2DreamArtists.com. I was given her name by a good friend and fellow blogger. I did check out her website and saw some of her work so I knew I was in good hands.
Originally, we were supposed to have the photo-shoot someone where in Manhattan, but the weather was not exactly what we wanted, so we pushed it from a wednesday to a friday. It was significantly hotter that day and it forced me to make a last minute decision on the 3rd outfit. I was going to go with a colder look with a coat or a sweater but the sun was blazing that day and it ended up being a Mets shirt (don’t judge me, it’s almost baseball season).
I look at the pictures and I’m almost in awe of myself. I told someone that I think everyone should do this just to do it. I think that it is a great way to boost an ego. Now, this does not mean I am getting a big head. I still think I am ok looking. I just like the color of my shirts and how it really comes out in these photographs. This one picture really shocked me because you can see how brown my eyes are. I do not recall anyone picture before this when I can really see that.
I am happy with the results because I think that it shows me in a different light. It also made me want to do it again. What is funny is that some of my friends like to mess with me and ask me: “Don’t you already take enough pictures of yourself?” My response is simple: I am just loving myself. Sure, there is clearly a professional purpose to what I am doing, but sometimes we just need to show appreciation to ourselves because none of us should wait for someone else to give it to us.
I still find myself learning about me and my motivations. I am really getting to point that I can do stuff for myself and not for others. This photos are more for me than anyone else (although, I have a feeling my dad will be asking for copies). I believe there was a total of 80 pictures and I had to pick 10. I personally, liked 5. So, I needed to ask others to help me in my decision. Between friends and family I was finally able to get to 10 photos.
I never liked pictures of me smiling because I feel it captures me in a certain way. I feel that I show too much teeth, but to be honest there is a deep rooted reason on why I do not like to show my teeth. I had braces when I younger because my teeth was just not right. It was one more thing for kids to make fun of me, so I always tried not to smile so much. The only problem with this is that I love to laugh! So, ironically enough, my favorite photos are those of me smiling. I think that this was captured very well.
I think it is interesting how other people view me because different people liked different pictures when I was choosing my 10. Of course many of those are ones I didn’t like. I think it showed me the different phases in my life. I think that my ‘serious’ look might make me look tense or angry. I simply just had my mouth closed trying to relax. I do believe that I may not have been totally relaxed during the shoot but I am satisfied with the results regardless.
Quite frankly. I want to just look back at these pictures and remember this phase of my life. I can look at my old photos on Facebook and realize that I do not even recognize myself. I just look different to me as if it was just either another life time or an alternate reality. In either case, I think these photos are the closest representation of the real me.