“Who are you?” That was what I was asked a few days ago by a former student that is still getting used to the person I’ve become. I’m an author and a vegetarian which is vastly different from where I was about 4 years ago. But to answer the question, I am a person who has fought for my dream.
So who was I before that? Was I some person wandering around not knowing what I wanted? Actually, I was that person who didn’t listen to that little voice on the inside. I took life for granted thinking I should just be grateful for what I have and not take risks. I wasn’t willing to change my life because I was afraid I might fail.
I was afraid that I might lose.
Well the thing is, I stand here now saying that I’ve taken risks and that I have won some and I’ve also lost some. Life is about fight and I feel that I’m in that fight everyday. I battle against the toughest opponent I will every face and that is myself. I have expectations and dreams that have become a real part of the goals that I set for myself. Every year I have risen the bar higher, sometimes I make it and sometimes I don’t.
I saw Creed this weekend and it really took me back to a time when I believed that anything is possible if you work hard for it. I may talk a good game about goals and how I’ve accomplished a lot of what I wanted, but the reality is that I find myself feeling a little disappointed about not doing enough. Am I not writing enough? Am I not marketing enough? What am I fighting?
I’m fighting this idea that my first plunge into the literary world is not as successful as I thought. Yet, I’m not sure what I thought would happen. Perhaps I thought I would sell more books. Maybe I thought I would have more meaningful interactions where people actually believe I wrote something longer than a blog post. Whatever the case may be, I realize that this is all in my head because I’m my biggest critic.
Creed reminded me of the fact is that I still put myself out there and I continue to take on the brutal writing schedule where I don’t sleep because I need to prove to myself that I can do this. There is this need for me to do all this on my own with help from a select few people that I’m privileged enough to call a team. I could win or lose, but I get nothing if I don’t but my hat in the ring. So yeah, I was a bit hyped when Adonis Creed did his work outs and ran through the streets of Philadelphia because I understand that passion and the need to achieve that one goal.
I fight for my dreams because no one will do it for me. There will always be naysayers and there will always be supporters and I used them both for motivation.