Something I have been thinking about all week, coupled with my issues with coffee, is my health and how my body looks. When I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I was so impressed with the type of body Hugh Jackman had. He was very fit and thin as hell. I am not talking about the scenes where he is running nude. I am talking about him wearing the Jacket, with jeans and boots.
Ok, I am done with the man love. My point is that this is the first time that I really questioned my own self image. I mean, this is not a point in which I feel inferior because I am not white. It is bad enough that many Latinos have issues with self images that they ignore their African roots, but that is not me. This is a case of realizing that I need to wear a pair of jeans that fit. I need to wear a jacket that doesn’t just drape over me.
I am not saying I am fat. I just think that I should be thinner. Of course I talk all this shit and then I do nothing about it. So, I have plenty of thinking to do. What plan am I going to have? I wish I knew. But, I want to go to the extreme. I want to push my body to the limit. I think that now is the time to so that.
I am not saying I am trying to get 6 pack abs. I am thinking more of a toned kind a look. I am so over baggy jeans, I have been for years. I can do the skinny jeans thing though. I cannot afford a trainer so I know I have to figure something out.
It reminds me of a time when I attempted to work out like everyday. My friend, Casey was going to put me through this regime. I was going to get worked out! So I am doing all types of exercises that hurt. He decides that I should lift weights to the point where I cannot use my arms anymore! I would go home and not even be able to lift a glass of water. So, it got to the point where my arms got pretty big…well for me. My pecs were getting pretty nice too! I go home to the Bronx to visit the parents. My step mother looks at me and tells me I am fat! Like asking me how much I have been eating! Then she checks out my arms and thinks I am on drugs! Apparently my arms had gotten big to the point where there were stretch marks (that I still have) and they are of course mistaken for needle marks…
Needless to say, I do not want to be big. I just want to be slim and fit. Lets hope I can do that. All I need is the will. I think I have plenty of it. I just need a plan.