I have issues with how people generally use the word rape, but more specifically men. Rape is not a word that should be used to describe anything else but what it was intended to mean. It has become apparent to me that rampant use of the word can only suggest that most men do not really know or understand the definition of rape. The only good thing about this is that I will provide a complete definition of the word and why it should not be used with irreverence.
Looking up the word rape on dictionary.com I saw this: the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse. Let’s be clear here, there is nothing about this word that can be used in a positive way. Rape is a violent act in which one exerts the ultimate power over another person. The victims are left broken mentally and physically. In many cases it takes years to recover…if they recover.
There are women that I know that have been raped. I am willing to guess there are more women that I know who have not told me they were raped, which brings me to my point. Saying the word as a way to describe a meaningless act takes away from this horrid experience. I follow so many people who are into sports. The analogies that are used to describe things are unacceptable. For example, when someone does something extra ordinary in a sport I have seen people tweet that “he raped them” or if a team loses by a lot, “they were raped!”
My first question is…really? You mean to tell me out of the words that people can come up with, that this word is one they choose to use? It does make me wonder about the limited vocabulary that men have in general. I treat rape as if its the worst of the four letter words because it is that serious and yet in this patriarchal society we make it seem as if its no big deal. I don’t think that our ancestors who have been raped throughout history would feel this word, that describes the ultimate defiling of someone, should be used in such ways.
I am sure that the men who have been raped in jail look at this act in a brand new way. This is not about sex and sexual urges. It is about power and exerting that power over someone. That is why in the olden days taking a woman was a part of the “spoils” of war. That is why the Spanish felt that the taking of the women from either the indigenous or the slave population in colonial time was viewed as spreading the divine seed to make the heathens better.
One has to understand the rape culture by looking at some key statistics. 1/6 women will be a victim of sexual assault. 60% of sexual assault goes unreported. Every 2 minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the US. 15 out of 16 rapists will never get jail time. Tell me what the joke is? I blame men for not really seeing what women go through. Men of color, in particular, need to understand that we already objectify our women by approving the images of the “video hoe” and subscribing to the ideas a woman are no more than a “thirsty bitch”. Very rarely is there consideration to the fact that our mothers and sisters are included in the statistical numbers above.
Even the imagery of rape makes the act a joke. In looking for a photo to attach for this blog post, I saw so many joking images about “rape face” that is it appalling and yet, this is the society we live in where we are oversexed and undereducated.
I have said this once and I say it over and over again, more men need to stand up against domestic violence and rape. While domestic violence is a separate issue and a separate blog all together, both of these issues speak to the type of men that we see in this society.
So before you open up your mouth or type your next tweet I encourage to understand the meaning of any word before you make yourself look as ignorant as you probably are.