This is the 3rd week of February and I feel like six months has passed since the new year. I guess that’s not a bad thing. I’ve been busy plugging along with edits and revisions to The Book of Isabel. I’ve finally reached the final stages where I can take a breath and hand it back over for proofing.
I feel as if I took this time to read more and soak up some general knowledge from writers and authors that I listen to podcasts or read on blogs. I also took time to really get into test reader feedback of my novel, which has been spectacular. I enjoy the fact that I’m really beginning to hit a groove with this whole writing thing.
Last night I finally added my acknowledgements and dedications. I almost felt myself getting emotional because I know who I’m dedicating the book to and why. Many people know that cancer changed the way I view life since it has impacted much of my family and friends. When I think about the people I lost and have almost lost, it almost brings a flood of emotions to me. I can almost feel the eye sweats.
While Hanging Upside Down is a very personal piece of work, The Book of Isabel represents the spirit of my youth that is very much tied to those people I’ve dedicated the book to. I hope that people who read the book will be able to understand the book’s underlying message.
I’ve also come to the realization that in finishing this novel, I’m adding to my journey towards being the author I want to be. I really don’t know if I’m going to be this best selling author. I don’t know if I will be more than just an author that people don’t know about. I certainly don’t know if I will more than the person that people will say “Yeah, I need to read his work” but then never really do.
What I do know is that none of that matters to me anymore. I don’t know if its because of the anti-establishment sentiment I’ve been feeling lately or if I simply have no more fucks to give. What I do know is that I love the anonymity of all this. I love that people are still surprised that I’ve written two books with a third one on the horizon.
I suppose that as I start completing the the final stages of the book, I’m also completing the final stages of me. Make no mistake, I’m writing for me. If I was writing for fame or the need to be in literary magazines then perhaps I would drive myself crazy. Maybe, one day, I will make it there and maybe I wont.
In either case, the final stages of who I am is almost complete.