I’m Not Required Reading, But I Will Be

I know that I’m doing a lot. Outside of having a regular job that I love, I am a writer who’s trying to make himself better. There’s tons of work that comes along with that. There are dues to pay and mistakes to make and then correct. I know that I’m not required reading right now, but I will be.

I’m reading more that ever. I’m meeting with a few writers to assess what I could be doing better. I’m meeting with other writers to help them understand this process. I’m writing short stories and adding final touches to my second novel. I listen to audio versions of classic books outside of the normal books I read and I’m reading graphic novels.

I consider this training because I know that I can better. I know the words I use and the stories I choose to write solidify who I am as an artist. I don’t have the fancy book deals. I don’t have the agent or the MFA sheepskin on my wall. What I do have in a sense of determination and willingness to keep going.

Often, I’ve thought about quitting. I measure my success higher than anyone can think. I can at least say I wrote one book. That is more that many people.

Often, I’ve thought about packing it up and fading into the background. Closing up all social media outlets and just becoming that dude that gets up everyday, goes to work, comes home, sleeps. Wash. Dry. Repeat.

Often, I’ve thought about how no one really gives a shit about what I write. Want to know what I do when those thoughts creep in? I write some more.

I know that I’m not required reading right now, but I will be.

I’m not very well known. I don’t have 10k in followers. I don’t campaign my work to the all knowing authority in books. I don’t even know if such a thing exists but that will not stop me from getting better and writing my ass off.

No. I don’t sleep. I write.

I go to work to take a break from writing. I eat better so I can write some more. I write because I require myself to. Perhaps I don’t do it everyday and when I don’t then read and prepare. I want to better at all of this. I want someone to pick one of my books and say, damn.

I know that I’m not required reading right now, but I will be.