Now that I am single, I cannot help but wonder about the art of dating. Sure, I am in the middle of trying to get into grad school and I have been on a few dates, but it is always good to wonder all the do’s and don’ts of dating. So, yesterday morning I read this article about what is considered a date and what is not. I then asked a question to my followers and I got more than what I anticipated!
If you read the article then you will notice that it is all basic stuff. I know that the combination of things my dad have taught me, my step mom had said to me, and just growing up with a lot of women that has made me realize certain things that a man should do on a date. This doesn’t mean that I was all that good at it, but I wasn’t horrible either. So when I scroll down the list, I notice point number 3: “It’s not a date if: he whips out the groupon (coupon)“
I found this statement to be strange. I know that we are living in hard economic times. People are hurting for money and I cant help but wonder why would a coupon to a restaurant be viewed as a negative thing? It is not like the guy who is using this coupon is making his date pay for the meal nor is he asking her to go dutch. I would assume that as long as two people have a good time and the bill is paid it shouldn’t matter. Apparently, I am wrong.
The one thing that I want to make clear here is that I am not guilty of this infraction when it comes to dating. When I take a woman out on a date, I expect to pay for the entire night. That is how I was raised. But, I know that not every man was raised like me. I also know that, again, times are hard for some people and that shouldn’t stop them from going out and having fun if they can afford it. There are many guys who believe that a woman would only date a man who either has money or the illusion of it.
Now, in their defense, perhaps they do not understand the dating rules and roles. Perhaps they do not comprehend words like elegance and chivalry. In any case, I think that by saying that coupons are a bad thing on a date leaves women open for criticism by many guys. Of course, I had to ask the women who follow me on Facebook thinking that perhaps they would give me good explanation of all of this…
Needless to say this is topic that these women are well versed in. I also want to say they made my day yesterday. I laughed so hard because they make some good points here. I mean, if any man asks a women out, I would think it would be his responsibility to make himself look good. Of course, it depends on the woman who he takes out, which means that there has to be a conversation to get to know your date beforehand. I am not saying to ask if coupons are acceptable, but I think guys can get a sense of the type of woman they are dealing with by listening! (imagine that?)
However, not all women thought coupons were a bad idea:
I have to disagree w almost of all of you. I believe it takes a great woman to understand that it’s not about the coupon but it shows a man who is financially conscience and that is a GREAT quality in a man. I find that too many women are more concerned about the kind of restaurant they’re being taken to and how much he’ll spend on them. Well, take this advice from a woman who is writing a book on just this subject and also from a woman who pays for all of the 1st dates. Break out that coupon sweetheart!
Look, I don’t really know what the exact rule is, but I will say that to date a woman is expensive. A dinner and a movie will run about $150 if the guy is not careful. Think about this (and I am using NYC prices): 2 tickets for a 3D IMAX movie will cost $36. Dinner for two can be about $80. Take into account that I did not add snacks and popcorn from the movie nor did I add in drinks from dinner. I personally think that if a coupon is thrown in there somewhere it is not a terrible thing. Now, of course, he could purchase the tickets online using a voucher and she would never know. It is totally possible he could take care of the bill with a coupon while she is in the restroom. But can a cost conscious individual be all that bad?
2 thoughts on “Dating and Coupons!”
lol great post. Personally, I stay simple and budget ahead for dates. As a gay woman who's more dominant I tend to take on the “man's role”. For the most part a woman wants to have fun on the date, and if she's clocking finances that hard then she's probably not a keeper. As long as you show her a good time it shouldn't matter. Just don't let her see the coupon I guess, some women can take it the wrong way and it can be seen as bad decorum. Or you can make a flippant remark or joke about the coupon, “I'm friends with a waiter/manager/etc… and they hooked me up” or “its a gift from my boss, this is their favorite place”. Things like that open you up to more conversation and makes you seem interesting, takes her mind of the financial aspect of the situation.
You only get one chance to make a first impression. I wouldn't use the coupon on a first date it gives a female the impression you're cheap even if you're not I would save the coupon for a long term dating situation.