It’s December already. 2015 is just about over and just like year’s past, I find myself reflecting. While I’ll leave the entirety of reflection for another post, I can’t help but think about my life and how so much has changed this year while putting in perspective where I fit in this crazy world. All I can say is this is the year where I’ve grown tired of nouns (people, places, or things).
How crazy has this year been for me? Well, I won’t get into the whirlwind of being an author because there really isn’t that much to say that hasn’t already been said. I understand my place as a writer. I understand that people will always be surprised that I wrote a book without them being entirely interested in reading it. That’s just the way of the world and it wont stop me from doing what I love to do.
Instead, I will just focus on how I came to fully understand how people are. I’ve learned that friends are not always the friends you thought they were and that strangers can have a bigger impact on your life than people who’ve known you for almost all your life. While I’m not sure how this is possible at times, I do know that we never truly understand our impact on people until that moment it’s pointed out to us.
I’ve come to relearn an old lesson about assumptions. “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” No matter how smart someone is, assumptions will always be their downfall. Of course, I don’t exclude myself from any of this either. As we get older we lead ourselves to believe we’re becoming smarter and wiser; that we know more about humans when actuality we’re just getting better at assuming the worst of people. This type of thinking is what has gotten me into lots of arguments this year.
However, I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned from all the fuckery of this year is that fact that perhaps I gave too many people space in my head. I gave too much thought to those who only wish negative things on other people. I’ve become familiar and quite comfortable with blocking people on social media. Whereas, in the past, I gave people room to voice a particular feeling that may’ve offend me. I now find myself being intolerant of such behaviors. For example, if you feel the need to tell me #BlackLivesMatter is bullshit and you have no real argument, then it’s time for you to get blocked. This usually goes for people who were once “friends” of mine. So I will not allow people to live rent free in my head or any where else for that matter. I consider that to be a way of letting go.
Which leads me to think about where I fit. I gotta say, I don’t really know. I’ve simply grown tired of nouns (people, places, or things). I’ve grown tired of people and their ignorance (i.e. lack of awareness to their privilege). I’ve grown tired of places that promote ignorance. I’ve grown tired of things that people swear they need when they really don’t. I feel like thinking this way puts me in a minority, which I’m quite OK with.
Not sure where this will put me in terms of next year, but what I do know is that I will be traveling more than I did this year, I do know that The Book of Isabel will come out, and I know that 2016 will provide me with new challenges.
Finally, I also know that no matter what happens, I will still be tired of nouns (people, places, or things).