my life – Page 13 – Anthony Otero

Afro Latino, Black History Month, Black in Latin America, Blogging, Branding, Huffington Post, LANSU, Latinos, my life, Syracuse University

The Cultivation of My Brand

This past week I’ve been realized one thing, I am cultivating a brand. I started doing this years ago without realizing it. Once I knew what I wanted to do, I tried my hardest to be as consistent as possible.

I will admit that I had no idea exactly what I was doing but I figured being recognized under one screen name would be the best possible thing for me. This way when someone was looking for my blog they would always be able to find it. That is why my twitter and tumblr are the same. If you play me in world with friends or any game on the iphone, you will know how to find me: latinegro.

It is also that consistency that has also allowed me to have the same message. While, this particular blog tends to get personal at times. I still, for the most part, try to advocate for the recognition of Afro Latinos and to a much larger extent, Latinos. Then there is my overall feeling on the fight against racism and oppression that I have been so out spoken about. I also believe in education and easy access to it. I think that it is our responsibility to help our youth get a better education.

With that being said, I realize that I never mentioned how I am the president of the Latino Alumni Network of Syracuse University (LANSU). This is something that I’m very proud of but I don’t feel the need to brag about it. Quite simply, there is a lot of work to do to get this organization to where I envision it. Last week, we had our first collaborative event of 2013 that was very coincidentally called: Branding Yourself in the Global Marketplace.

While I also knew about branding myself, It was very interesting to see other people’s opinion on it. It made me reenforce what I had done the week prior to all this, which was using my ability to write to create a theme for LANSU that needs to be solidified. Quite frankly, I have never been comfortable asking for money. Even when I was a telemarketer for brief time in the late 90’s, I had trouble asking for money and that was my job! But, I have a passion for my former students at SU and for fellow alumni. My job is to bridge that gap through networking at the fulfillment of the LANSU Scholarship Fund.

I had spent the first few weeks of January really trying to get LANSU’s name out there through twitter, facebook, and Linkedin. I was in a very long meeting with Syracuse University to get what I need established. This almost lead me to forget the other side of my brand: The Latinegr@s Project. This was something that I figured was unforgivable in my book especially with Black History Month. I wanted to create a ripple in the water in a way that I have never done before.

The last time I wrote for The Huffington Post was in July of 2012. It had been weighing on me that I have access to this awesome medium and I was not taking advantage of it. While I had planned on writing my final SU based article in November, there was something about it that just fell through. It wasn’t strong enough.

People ask me all the time “How did you get to write for the Huffington Post?” Well, the answer is networking. I got lucky that I knew someone that knew someone that works for them. When the call went out for new bloggers, my name was given and I was contacted. This is one of those times when being a mentor to a fabulous person like Victoria Chan pays off. I will always be grateful for her because of this and I will always make sure I am there for her when she needs advice.

I was asked to only write about College and Higher Education topics, which I did and struggled with. I have a personal copy editor (my girlfriend) who tears my articles up, demanding I be more clear and concise. I noticed after the 3rd article I posted that there was way for me to submit a blog through Latino Voices (a branch of the Huff). I kept that in the back of my mind knowing that I will have to post about Afro Latinos one day and hopefully they will accept this.

Fast forward to last Friday. As busy as I was, I was debating on if I should even write something or wait until Monday. Most times, I would write a post and it would take a day for me to edit it and go back and forth with how good it may or may not be. I just decided to write something during my lunch hour. It was something really quick and straight forward that was barely 700 words if that. I fact checked it and sent it to my beautiful girlfriend to destroy (I tend to be vague with a lot of typos). She emailed it back with two edits! I was shocked. Later she would tell me that it was the most straight forward article I have written.

I submitted it to Latino Voices around 3pm. I was thinking that, if they do post this, it wont be until Monday. I was almost mad at myself about that because I had waited so long to write it. At 5m exactly…they posted the article. The rest has been a whirlwind of comments and praise that I was not expecting. I did a radio interview with a show out of Syracuse the very next day. It turns out to be the most read blog post I have written ever.

I was asked what was it like to create a brand for yourself? Simply put: Absolutely Amazing.

Blogging, my life

4 Years (in the game).

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” – Neil Gaiman

Four years ago today I started on writing a blog and since then I never stopped. From year to year I felt that at some point there might be an end to all this. Truth be told that nothing lasts forever so when I think about how indecisive I can be or (at the very least) how much I hate repetition, its very much a surprise that I am still around. I’m just glad that I never lost that drive to write.

It is also very unique to be able to have something tangible to look back on. While I do not have the time to go back and read everything I wrote, I do go back from time to time to see if my feelings on life have changed. After all, I started this blog when I was married. Now I am so far from that life that the tone of things have completely changed. I was worried that me being happy would give me less things to write about. Unfortunately, most of my writings are better when I am miserable and to make my point, I have not written a poem in about a year and half. Yet, I am glad where I am. I feel I still have a lot to say and so many challenges to face.

I did question whether I should celebrate this since I am no longer posting on my original blog. However, I think that I woke up from some kind of slumber four year ago. I am not sure I can imagine a life in which I don’t have a blank page (or screen) that allows me to fill it with words and yet, be lucky enough to have people read it. I’m very happy about that decision to put myself out there in ways I never thought were possible or even imaginable.

I think that moving blog sites was good for me. I (still) get way more page views on my original site than on this one, which is to be expected. I think I wrote some really good things and people are still reading it. I did manage to move all the blog content from that site to this one. I wanted to make sure all of those were with me. There was a brief thought that perhaps I should delete the previous site but I decided against that because I do not want anyone else to have the ability to post on that url.

I have learned many things in that last 4 years. One of those things is that branding yourself is very important. I have tried my best to brand myself and everything I do as a product. There is no bigger product than ourselves. We should spend the time, money, and resources into investing ourselves. That is a hard concept to wrap the head around, but we are the greatest asset that we can give to anyone or any company. We should already know our strengths and weaknesses. It is really up to us to cultivate those into something that is valuable.

I also feel myself changing. I’m not sure exactly what that means either. Perhaps my views on life are changing due to age and experience. I could be maturing in a whole new way that gives me a different out look. Then there is the simple point that I could be just tired of the B.S. around me. I think it is time that I take a deep look at myself because I feel that people complain to much about everything. I wonder if I am one of those people. While everyone has a right to criticize, are we becoming too critical? Are we complaining about the wrong things? I don’t know, but I think it requires a look within myself to see if perhaps I am too critical.

Another words, I think this year will be just as good as past years. I may go out a limb here and say that I may just write more blog post than I did last year. I hope you all enjoy the ride because it may be bumpy.

I will leave you with this:

my life

I am not Your Superman™

I am a lot of things and as I continue to write blog posts, champion certain causes, and lead certain organizations, it becomes increasingly important to establish just what I am and what I am not.

What I need to get out of the way first is what I am not.

I’m not Superman and nor will I ever be. I am a person who makes mistakes and says the wrong things. People will have personal issues with how I do things and how I say things. Sometimes I think they are more turned off by the way I say things than the actual content.

I am not a conspiracy theorist. I do not blindly say shit out of my nether regions to get a response. However, I do not always believe everything I see or read. I critically think about all the things that are happening around me. If I say that a certain movie is commercializing slavery or that I do not trust the content of the Flu Shot then perhaps I may have my reasons. It is perfectly fine if you do not agree but that also does not mean I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I am not a racist (I’m amused that I have to say this). I believe in the human spirit and I do not hate any particular race, creed, or religion. I think that we all have issues and I just address the one that effect me and the people who look like me. I have been well educated in this area with the classes that I have taken and the many books that I have read about critical race theory (most written by white people by the way). I have a history of working with everyone but guess what? We still live in a racist society and I am quite sorry most people cannot see that.

I am not Anti-USA. I love this country and best believe that you will never hear me say that I would leave it due to stupid policies and laws. I have always used my right of free speech and never quelled anyone else’s right. What I do know is history and that kind of knowledge trumps many things. We may be the greatest country in the world but we still have faults.

Let me tell you what I am.

I’m a critical thinker that questions everything. Maybe it was my educational background. Maybe it is my father who has always told me that there are bad people in this world and I need to watch out for them. I have been burned too many times as a kid not to question things.

I am a Mentor. I have been involved in the lives of many young (and now older) college students since 2001. I have made it my job to help any one of these kids where and how ever I can. These have been individuals who have I have either supervised, advised, or just randomly met through another student. I take pride in knowing that I mentored young adults that still come to me for advice on life.

For better or worse, I am an artist, a poet (or word ninja). I love to string together words and phrases to come up with a product that I like. I have mentioned this some time ago that I write for nobody else but me. I am ok with putting things out there for people to read because that is what writers/artists do.

I am a leader. I have never ever believed in following the status quo. I don’t like to do the things that everyone else is doing. If something does not seem right, I try to address it. If I can help make things better than I will try. However, I will follow those who are worth following and not because it is the cool thing to do.

More importantly, I am a lover. Believe it or not, I’m the most sentimental guy that I can think of. I love my life, my school, my job, my family, my friends, my girlfriend, and my dog. I’m not even sure if that list is complete. I also love to laugh and make other people laugh. My humor is what makes me…me. I have faith in the human spirit and the human nature. In fact, I have been known to put too much faith in people and have often paid the price for that.

But, you know what? I am ok with that because I truly believe that everyone in my life, for however short or long that may be in it, has a purpose. So, no, I am not YOUR Superman. I am just a Human that makes mistakes like everyone else.

Blogging, Juno Diaz, my life, writing

Inside My Head

So many things going on in my head. I feel almost overwhelmed with creative energy over the last several weeks. I am not sure where exactly it is coming from but it makes me think a lot about where I want to be and where I do not want to be. I have been in a place where I can be the best of me and I have been in a place of pure complacency. Yet, there is a feeling that is driving me and I will try very hard to go with it.

Let me just say that this is my second attempt to write this post considering that I lost the first blog after I had written the entire thing. So I am a little sad that all that this will not be the same thing I wrote a few days ago…

Perhaps it is New York City. I think about the those athletes who are either free agents or traded from one team to another and they have incredible success. They light the place up because the change of scenery was good for them and their competitive juices. I am starting to feel the same way because this is such a fast paced city. You need to be doing something or you are really doing nothing.

I think the move to a new apartment may be considered. A brand new space with a brand new beginning. I think there is so much potential that it gets me excited for what could happen next, not only in my personal life but in my creative life as well. Just living in a buzzing neighborhood is enough to know that being complacent is not an option.

Maybe it is the goals that I accomplished in the past that has made me hungry for more. There is something about doing what you would you said you would do that just feels good. It gives me a sense of purpose to really believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. It may also be moving blog sites too. I haven’t written this often it quite some time.

It could always be Junot Diaz. I know that may sounds a little weird but after reading his last book, This Is How You Lose Her, it gave me the sense that I can do what I want to do. His writing speaks to me on many levels. I am not merely talking about the subject matter but rather the way he says the things that he does. There are the little nuggets of information in his books that makes me realize exactly what his intentions are. Then there are the things he doesn’t say with his writings that just as profound. I feel that I have a vagueness in my style and I hope to cultivate it even further.

The problem with all of this is that while I have started writing (8 chapters of a book if I may be precise), all the rest of it are inside my head. That is kind of funny when I think about it. Inside My Head being the title of my former blog. I named it that because I felt the words to my existence were trapped within my brain and I just need to get all the thoughts and emotions out. Now the only thing I have left is the creative side that I need to pull out.

Yet, as always, there is the fear that motivates me as well as holds me back. I am motivated by it because I do not want that complacency that I felt in Syracuse to come back. I have always told people that that Syracuse has a way of sinking it’s claws into you and not letting you move. I felt that it took me way too long to move on from that city, Yet, I am held back by fear because quite frankly, new things and potential success can become frightening prospects when you consider that failure can and will be involved. However, there is only so much I will allow fear to hold me up. It may delay things but I have seen that overcoming fear is not as hard as one would think.

divorce, Juno Diaz, Latinos, love, my life, relationships

Is Monogamy Dead?

It has been a long time since I have written anything about relationships. Most of my entries have been when I was single and newly divorced. So when my woman and I were talking about how monogamy seems to be something in the past, I knew that was my opportunity to really write about something about men and woman as I once used to.

I have been in a book club for about 2 years now, maybe a little longer, and we have read many things. Last month the choice was This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz. I’m not quite done with it yet (I know…it was LAST month’s book), but there are some major themes here about relationships. Clearly the title gives a hint about what this book will be about and I will try not to talk too much about the contents of the book so that you can read it for yourself.

One question that may pop into your mind when reading this book may be, “Is Monogamy dead?” The book is a series of short stories that are about the different ways a man can fuck up his relationships. One can go deeper and say these are different ways a Dominican man has fucked up this relationships. Which ever case it may be, it leads to serious thoughts about the thought process of a man and how he perceives the women he loves and the women he cheats with.

As I read the book, I do not view myself in any of these scenarios. Another words, I personally do not believe that this is a representation of every man. I do, however, think that it describes many guys and how they think about love and life. What we see here is that the man in the stories often loves the woman he is in a relationship with but still chooses to go and cheat anyway (knowing that it is wrong). Some reasons for this are stated and others are ambiguous to suggest that some times men do not even understand the things they do.

Thinking about real life outside the context of this book, we are subjected to constant stories about divorce. Normally, it is on the Hollywood scene where marriages seem to last less than 2 years, but realistically, divorce has always been on the rise. What is the reason for this? Is it that monogamy is slowly become a thing of the past? Clearly I cannot answer these questions because I truly do not know. However, I do feel that the world is a lot less smaller than it once was. I also think that women are more empowered to make critical decisions about their life and their mates.

This is not say that Feminism has killed marriage. Nor is it to say that it is always the man that is fucking up the relationship (although we do not do ourselves any favors). I think we have more choices than people did 100 years ago. Strictly speaking, I am referring to life within the United States and I can tell you that this country is all about about choices. Women are career oriented with goals that include being as successful as possible. Their grandmothers never had that ability. Many times we look at the elderly who have been married for like 50-70 years and we are all wonder how in the world did they do that. Many people say it is true love. I think it might be true tolerance.

The older generations didn’t believe in divorce as much. I am quite sure there were a number of indiscretions that men have had in which his wife just dealt with it. That is not the case any more. Women can choose not to deal with it and find another mate. The reality is that monogamy is billed in the country as something we need to attain and retain because family values are part of the American Dream. Think about that for a minute. Most people are looking to get married, get a house (or condo), have 1.5 kids, and a pet. Nothing at all prepares us for divorce.

With that being said, my own divorce was something that I take much responsibility for. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in monogamy, it was that I was too immature to really embrace it. This is what really lies within the center of man. There was never a point where I told myself that I would have to deal with being with the same women all my life. I never freaked out about that. However, for some reason, I always knew that I would eventually get a divorce. I was just lying to myself about it. I always had a feeling there would be a wife number 2. Perhaps that was my experience with the rampant divorce in my family, or maybe it was something deeper.

Does this mean that monogamy is dead. I don’t think so. I can go on Facebook right now and point out at least 15 -20 couples who seem genuinely happy. Those people who have been either married longer than I was or perhaps seem more together than I ever was. I think that monogamy is still there, we just tend to focus on the divorces and the break ups. Yes, men are assholes but that has to do with our own issues that women can’t really fix until men are ready to be fixed.

Afro Latino, Latinegas Project, Latinos, my life

A Little About Me…

I feel the need for a little reintroduction. There is so much newness around me that has sparked an array of inspiration so far in 2013. New Office, New Apartment, and New Blog; I have to admit this is going well especially since I am getting new followers. This makes me think about the fact that many people are probably wondering what I am about…and even of you aren’t I should just explain anyway.

First and foremost, I consider myself a Latino man. More importantly, I consider myself Afro-Latino. I know that this term has gotten popular over the years and as plotted out my digital identity, I came up with the name Latinegro (which is something I did not invent). I got the name from Marta Cruz-Janzen who wrote some articles that lead me to write a major research paper for a graduate class I took a few years back. In my mind, she coined the phrase Latinegro and I have been using it every since.

It is important for me to state this because I believe that identity is important. It is one of things that makes us who were are. I cannot tell you how many college student I have run into over the years that simply do not know who they are…or perhaps they do know, but just have trouble accepting it. The acceptance of oneself is so very important in a lifetime because it is that catharsis that will really lead to success. That is why I have made sure I spend much of my blog about race and Afro Latinos in particular.

I define Afro Latino as someone who has African and Hispanic bloodlines (this does not exclude Haitians or Brazilians). This can include just about all Latinos, however, the real difference is their own acceptance. There are many of us who feel that Latinos are not Black or African American. Some will defend this point based on whatever facts they can try to dig up. There is a stigma to be being dark skinned and it a shame, but not all that surprising. What so many Latinos do not understand is that the plight on of the African American is also their plight because we live in a black and white world where you are either one or the other (based on skin color) in most cases.

Of course, Latinos have issues specific to them when it comes to immigration and places like Arizona that have made racial profiling a reality. Unfortunately, Latinos are used to this fight. We have been dealing with immigration and access issues well before World War 2. The commercialized version of Latinos look very much like the typical Mexican images you tend to see when we talk about immigration issues in the South West. The idealized version of Latinos tends to be the more the Rick Martin look; light skinned, dark (good) hair, light eyes, and over-sexualized. The less idealized look tends to be the David Ortiz look which is dark skinned, heavy accent, and wool hair (pelo malo). The great thing about understanding race is that Latinos are all three of these which can lead to a lot of scratching heads. The Census Bureau barely knows how to categorize us which leads us not understand what it is we are.

This is why the Latinegr@s Project had to be created. When I co-founded this group it was with the purpose of educating people about Afro Latinos and showing pride in what we are. This where we have lead to the discovery of and within ourselves as well as help people like us discover what they are. This is not just to say that we solely deal with Afro Latinos either. We champion those who are oppressed which is why posts can range from homosexuality to Native Americans.

Well, that seeed like such a long reintroduction, but I figured this is something I need to put on here now. As I get along in my new location here on wordpress, I am sure there will be other things I will feel the need to reiterate. While this blog is mostly about my life, there will be other things that will bleed into my posts. Just wait until I start writing about my other love…comic books.

2013, Barnard College, moving, my life, Washington Heights

Moves

There is so much truth in the term “making moves”. At this point, it seems to be all I do in my life. I crossed off another goal from the list I made last year for 2013. After weeks of searching, I am moving again to a more permanent apartment in Washington Heights. Thank God for that because the entire search process can be ridiculous and way too daunting.

This will be the 4th time I move in less than a year. As a matter of fact, I will have moved 4 times in 9 months. Babies have be conceived and born within that time span. I have moved from a 4 bedroom house to a room within a house (both in Syracuse) to an apartment with my woman and her parents to now a place that is just for me and her. Did you get all that?

I have an insane amount of boxes and general crap in my brother’s garage that has been there in September. It will be nice to see some of my stuff again and yet I feel that even more of that stuff will get purged somehow. Every man should expect that when they live with a woman that much of his shit will get tossed or be put in storage somewhere. I am just glad she has nothing against comic books. I make it sound bad, but the truth is that it really isn’t. Since I made the first move, I have come to realize that there are many things I can just live with out. Last thing I really want to be is a hoarder.

What I am really hoping is that this will be the last time I have to move for awhile. I know sometimes things happen, but it would be nice to settle in for more than a few months. While I am very adaptable, I was never meant to be a nomad. I think this is one of the final pieces that solidifies my move back to NYC.

For those are thinking about it, yes, I did mention that I am moving in with my girlfriend. This is indeed another plateau that has been reached. Of course, this was part of the overall plan discussed by us. It would be nice to just concentrate on each other without having to worry about parents, who have been great. However, a person can never be comfortable unless they are in their own space.

I am set to move this weekend and the funny thing about this whole thing is that my office at Barnard College has been in bit of flux too. We are moving from one office to another this week. Actually we moved from our old office in December and we are currently in what we call a “swing space” until our new office is ready (which is tomorrow). So technically I have moved 2 more times which being my total to 6, but who is really counting anyway?

Clearly, I am becoming an expert at moving. Although, I think I would like to be an expert and making moves considering that I am 2 for 2 on my Goals checklist. Everything is smooth now unless something pops up to prevent me from the other 8 things I have on my list. I believe it is always easier to get the goals out of the way early. I personally thought that finding a place was going to take me a lot longer to do. Although, we did start looking in November.

I am looking at a busy week heading into the weekend. I cannot wait until I am all moved in so I can move on.

50 Shades of Grey, Afro Latino, color blind, culture, Dad, grand father, Latinos, my life, racism, zombies

The Grey

It seems like everyday I’m finding another grey hair on my face. Which I suppose I am ok with since I am deciding to grow more facial hair. If I get tired of it, I can just shave. Yet, I look at it as proof that I continue to survive from year to year.

I often joke that each grey hair on my head is assigned to various people in my life both past a present that have left their stressful mark on me. However, the obvious reality is that I am getting older. I would like to think that my graying hair means that I am growing in wisdom, but I am not sure how true that is. I feel that I make enough mistakes to keep me young. Of course making mistakes is what being human is all about but, making mistakes usually means that one is out there doing new things.

For some reason when I think about the eventual salt and pepper look I will get (which will be a LONG time from now), I think about my maternal grandfather. I kind of knew, by my hair type, that I would be dealing with a greyish look. My dad has a different hair structure (I still compare him to Danny Trejo) that is very flowing and South American. Mi abuelito had hair that was more traditional with afro Latino…

{Pause}

I want to take a pause here because I am trying to not laugh…really. I mean, look at me trying to be all politically correct when it comes to the quality of the hair certain family members have. I could be really honest and just categorize it the way most people do. My father has good Latino hair that flows like Jesus and mi abueltio has pelo malo (bad hair) that flows like brillo.

{Un-Pause}

I think that I will eventually go back to the clean shaven look since there seems to less grey on my head than on my face. I’m really not that old. I’m staring at 39 in about six months and I feel like I am about 25. Truth of the matter is that being grey is not so bad. I feel like most of my life has been different shades of grey (which by the way…I hate that the book has coined this phrase).

{Pause}

Now that I think about, those are not grey hairs. They are white. Maybe, they seem grey when compared to the black hair. I find that interesting. I mean, I have been called racist by white people so I wonder if there is this psychological thing that does allow me to call a white hair white. Maybe, I am color blind in the sense and don’t want to recognize the importance of a certain color so I just call it grey. Interesting thought.

{Un-Pause}

It’s all good. I think have the wisdom to get through such trivial things like grey hairs. I am just glad that I still have my health. I just hope that I never get to a point where I consider using products to color my hair back to black. Do not get me wrong, both Clyde Frasier and Keith Hernandez are both legends but I’m not doing that little “touch of grey” thing that they have been promoting for years.

I think that when people get older they need to own up to their age and just face facts. Getting crap like botox or any anti-aging things will only end up making you look plastic. I mean, just imagine how they will look during the zombie apocalypse. No one wont be able to tell if they are alive or dead AND that is a damn shame.

I am owning up to my impending age. I think I look good. I can’t help but laugh at the fact that when I was younger two things occurred. The first was that I always cried about being the shortest and the youngest. I would always look too young or small for anything and I hated it so much, I could not wait be old (when you’re a kid being old is 19). The second was the fact that I looks so damn young and nerdy, women never looked at me.

Well, I think now I have the last laugh on both cases. 🙂

Blogging, my life

Big Things

I wasn’t sure how to go about this. I am so used to writing on a different space and using WordPress is so foreign to me. Originally, I thought about treating my first post, on a new site, as this world class event with all the bells and whistles that I can muster. All that usually means is a big Facebook announcement with some mentions on Twitter and Tumblr. But, What would be the point? I am still just about the writing.

So, in thinking about it again, I decided that my first post should be more like a Free Write. Truth be told, I just want to get used to the new digs. I want to get comfortable writing here because I may just be here awhile. I have nothing against my old site but, like my 2012 life, I needed a change. I have been wanting to do something different for a very long time. I have laid out the plans of this site change back in 2011. I knew then that it was only a matter of time before I made the move from my old site.

My thought in 2011 was to have yet a another site just for my fictional writing, I would post some things, here and there, so prove that I am indeed writing. The original title for this site was called “Leafless”. It represented my feelings on novel writing without the use of paper. I thought it was cute, but then I thought the whole thing was pointless. I was not ready for this because my life was ultimately not ready. So it just remained to be yet another project sidelined by a life in limbo. When I took a second thought about the whole thing, putting my intellectual property out there for free is probably not a great idea.

Yet, I loved the idea of moving to a new site as a way to start something new. Don’t get me wrong. I love my old site. The number of hits from 2012 were the best I have ever had (58,465 page views) which come out to about 4,900 page views monthly. I barely wrote 73 posts all year and I am amazed by this. Blogger was everything I wanted when I started 2009. It was easy to just get on and write. It was all I wanted to do. I cared little for the visual presentation. As I got more comfortable, I knew that I would eventually have to make my site look as cool as the words on put on it. I tried to change looks over the years, but again, I knew I had to make more of a lasting change for me.

Let’s also be honest. Other blogs around me were getting better and looking more refined. I didn’t want to make a change for the sake of making a change. I wanted to do it in my own time and in my own right. I also didn’t want to copy anyone. Which is another reason why I waited. I didn’t want to get inspiration to be something I stole from someone else. I wanted my idea to be fully formed and fully developed (I have been watching Inception too much).

So now I am here. This looks cleaner. It feels smoother. I think that if I am going to still be about my writing, I need (you) the reader to be able to see the words crisply. No more fancy fonts in green. This is just as much about my relationship with those who choose to follow me. I am hoping all goes well here and I will say that the changes you see on this page will continue as I continue to grow. 2013 is here and expect big things to happen.

Welcome to the other side.

2012, barack obama, Barnard College, fate, mother, my life, racism, Syracuse, Syracuse University, The Huffington Post

Looking back at MY 2012

“Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize, just as I did, that there’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path” – Morpheus

I always try to take one look back before I proceed into the future. 2012 has finally come to an end and I cannot help but be amazed of how I ended up exactly where I wanted to be. I will say that as much as I wanted this to be a good year, I wasn’t so confident that it would end that way.

The first thing I decided to so was to take more risks. The truth of the matter was that at this time last year, I knew I needed to change my life before I went spiraling down in a flame of debt and foreclosure. What I learned from my woman was that taking risks shouldn’t always be that scary. After a afternoon of learning how to ice skate –without falling once, I realized that I needed to invest in myself and take those risks that may turn my life around.

At the same time I realized that this blog was becoming a venue for me to complain and talk about things I would love to do but never follow up on. I was done with that. I need to stop talking and just do. The result ultimately ended up with me having less blogs than I anticipated but, the major goals I set were completed. Yet, as a writer, I did get more exposure than I ever thought I would with being selected as blogger for the Huffington Post. Yes, I feel like I keep saying this but I still find this to be amazing. I wrote 4 articles and acquired a great deal of fans on that site.

Although, there were some bumps along the way, my second blog for the Huffington Post received some comments that I was not excited about. Looking back at it, it wasn’t that big of a deal but, I did feel a certain way about it. I craft my words carefully (which is why I was called a Word Ninja) so that people can understand where I’m coming from. Usually, there are people who take my words to mean something entirely different (I’m still getting used to that). There was also the time in which the Huff denied a post from me. That was particularly hard to swallow, but I got over it.

I still believe that this was a banner year for racism. Despite the fact that Barack Obama won a second term, I believe we have seen so many signs of racism in the country that it is almost laughable if it wasn’t so tragic. The death of Travyon Martin really took its toll on me when it happened. I think there is a lot to be said about the gun laws in this country and while I wrote nothing about Aurora and Sandy Hook shootings…I think eyes need to opened when comes to which populations are being effected by certain laws. I think more importantly it is the perception that people have that really shows how “tolerant” we are of other people. This does not mean I have strong words for just white people….my own people can be ridiculous too.

Of course with the things that I say or do, come people who have either a difference of opinion (which is fine) or people who downright cannot deal with me. This year, I have learned to take the good with the bad. Let those fester in there thoughts while I continue to move forward. I can spend a whole blog post on the telling of stories about people and incidents that happen earlier in the year that will be completely hilarious. However, in doing so, that will make them look bad. I am determined to be the better person always. I think I have succeed in that one thing before I left Syracuse.

There were several proud moments for me this year, but nothing did it more than me getting an A in my graduate course in the spring semester. Another reason for the lack of blog posts was the simple fact that I was taking a class. The reason why this was big for me is because I never got an A in any class in my college career. I think I did pretty good on this.

My, departure from Central New York involved risks has I mention above. I was lucky enough to sell my house and get an apartment for a short amount of time. There was also so much risk in just keeping the faith and hoping that my job search would find me something. I’ll be honest, there was one point where I gave up. With my last job application submitted, I told myself that it was either now or never. If I do not get a job in NYC, I would have looked into Grad School in California. I had schools already picked out when Barnard called for the interview.

I will never forget that afternoon when I was told that I was hired. With my return imminent, I thought about all the things I would do when I got back home. But, I had to ultimately say goodbye to good friend. Yes, it was hard to say my goodbyes to colleagues, friends, and students but it was the hardest to say good bye to Rocky. I still love and miss that dog. He has remained in Syracuse with the x-wife. I still think about him everyday. Sad to say that all good things come to an end…SU will always be in my heart.

However, I did learn that everything is truly connected. In the wake of my decision to move, my mother suffered a heart attack. This required her to have a quintuple by-pass surgery that we all were very nervous about. Of course, Columbia Presbyterian is one of the best places she could have very gone to, there is was always that horrifyingly small chance that something may go wrong. The good thing is she fully recovered which made my return even more glorious.

The rest of the year was filled with apartment hunting while being broke, Obama was re-elected, Sandy damn near destroyed lower Manhattan, my Macbook broke, and I am near obesity.

I think this was a good year. Very successful. Next year will be better. I will share a toast tonight for my friends, family, and to all of you who continue to follow me. Happy New Year!