Blog

fate, my life

9 10 11

I felt I needed to write today. Perhaps a bit of a free write, I am not really sure. I know that today’s date is something that I will never see again in my life time unless I some how invent a time machine (out of a Delorean). I wanted to save my efforts for tomorrow. As much as I am trying to avoid my thoughts, I am still thinking about 9/11. Not to say that I should be avoiding it, but it has been 10 years and there are things that still bother me about that day. However, I will leave that for tomorrow.

Today, I think about the uniqueness of this day or the uniqueness of any day. I suppose everyday is unique in itself. Although repetitiveness is something that I absolutely cannot stand, I know each day can stand on itself. Yet, we tend to take for granted for each day. I know that I think there will be a tomorrow for me and the ones that I love. While I truly understand that anything can happen on any given day, I still think that there will always be a tomorrow.

I ran a red light the other day. This is something that I never do. However, I am known to run through stop signs. How is this possible? Let me tell you why. I am not paying attention. I am thinking about something other than the present. It is great to have a goal but it is also not so great to forget the present because of your goals. So for me….I just think way too damn much about everything. Sure, my life is better and i do not stress as much as I used to but, I still think about what is next.

What I am not thinking about is the present. I am not stopping to smell the roses. I am still thinking about 2 steps ahead or what is down the road for me. It happens so often that I forget about how significant a day like today is. 9-10-11. It is so intrinsically simple. We need to live in the now because days as simple as this only happen once in a millennia.

The universe is so vast and somewhere out there a galaxy is being born. A star is going nova. These things seem so insignificant to us, but to the other parts within the vast cosmos, this is the day that is the most important of all. Perhaps today is a birth of a child, or the uniting of two soul mates, who really knows? All I can say is that the here and now is just as important as the future.

economy, my life, side hustle

Side Hustle

A few years ago a good friend of mine told me that everyone has to have a side hustle.  We were talking about the simple fact that sometimes, one job is not enough. This was advice and a warning that if I were to come back to NYC that having a side hustle would be in my best interest. As I continue my quest to survive in such a horrible economy I realized that one job is just not enough anymore.

I have had 2 jobs in the past. That was before I had a career. I figured that once I got a steady job that all I would need is just one job. This way I can enjoy my days off and live a “normal” life. But, things changed when dealing with debt brought on from a marriage that does not exist anymore. When one income now has to replace two. Sure, I have two roommates to help with the cost of living in a house I no longer want to own, but when I would like to do things like date a woman, times get even harder. So, I had to go out and get a side hustle.

I do some work for the staging union in Syracuse. I get called in to help load in and/or load out show and concerts. The pay is good enough for me to come back when they call. I have done this work before and it is closely related to what I do now as an event planner. I have done this before when I first got out of college. It helped pay the bills then and it is helping me pay the bills now. The best part about starting this now is because the New York State Fair has been going on for a few weeks. In fact, today is the last day. I have been lucky enough to help load out shows for Journey, Lady Antebellum, and Selena Gomez.

This week I have learned that my friend was indeed correct, everyone does have a side hustle. During my brief stint at the fair, I cannot tell you how many people I have seen working some sort of second job. Yes the money is good, but I am beginning to feel that having a second gig is not just something to gain extra money, it something that has to be done in order to survive. I think it is becoming the normal thing to do something extra just to live a non luxurious lifestyle.

I am not saying that everyone has to have a second job per say, but I am sure there are those things that  most people do to cut corners in order to live. Some have speaking gigs every few weeks, some live with their parents instead of paying full rent (or any rent), some have roommates or tenants, or some sell stuff on E-Bay. In the end it doesn’t really matter because it is all a side hustle. Gone are the days when you can live off of one income and be comfortable…at least for me.

my life

Clutter Free

Last week I cleaned my office. I got rid of all the clutter. I dusted everything from the top of the cabinets to the keyboard. I did this all on a whim. I was just tired of the clutter. I looked at the mounds of paper that had been on my desk and I just could not deal anymore. I wondered what was the point of keeping papers and files of things I have not looked at in weeks. Since I could not answer that question, I simply got rid of it all.

Some people may find that hard to believe. If you were one of those people who was ever in my office, you know how chaotic everything seems to be. There was no reason to the madness that was my desk and the stuff around my office. I think it provided a certain feel that I am comfortable within the mess that is my life. The problem is, my life is not a mess anymore and I grow tired of the things that are cluttering my path to my goals.

It has been a week and my office still remains clutter free. I am serious about keeping it that way. It makes me feel a bit of peace know that I do not have a mound of paper looking at me. I have also noticed the reactions of many who are not used to this. There is a bit of surprise, perhaps a hint of doubt that my desk will not remain that way. However, there is also a sense of being a little more at ease when sitting down and having a conversation about work or anything else.

It has been all about how I come across to people. Can you trust someone like me if my area is chaotic? While I do thrive in chaos, it gets tiring. I have always been the type to revel in situations when the outcome is unknown. In the 10 years I have been at my job, I have had to constantly find ways to challenge and renew myself. Much of that has to do with new situations because I know I get bored with the same old things that happen. Having my area devoid of chaos is very new to me. I am also forcing myself to think about how I may come across. I may have this exterior (with my ties and vests) that I may put myself above others when that is not the case.

I think about this summer and how I did not achieve what I wanted to. Most jobs will not tell you why they did not hire you and leave us to only speculate. So I think I will work on my appearance in the sense of letting people see who I am. Not sure exactly how I am going to accomplish that, but I think that getting rid of the clutter and trimming the fat from my life is only the beginning.

9/11, Latino Heritage Month, my book, my life, Syracuse

Free-Write: Broke Edition.

I am doing a little experiement. It is 11:20pm as I write this and I am going to write for about 20 minutes because I need to just write about whatever. I need to just tap on the keyboard to see what I actually come up with. I think when I am done I will just edit for typos and find a picture that would most likely go with this post. This is something I normally do when I write is find a picture on Google and post it on the top of the post or if I am feeling really creative, I will post several pictures throughout the blog to give it a certain feel.

My stomach is not feeling so great right now because my dumb ass decided to drink just a little bit of soda with my meal. The person who took my take out order just had an extra drink and offered it too me. I barely took 3 sips before my tummy disagreed with it. So the moral of this tiny story is that I need to stick to water. That is the only thing I should be drinking anyway. Although, I am so very much into coffee. I only have one serving of coffee per day, but otherwise it is all about the water.

I know my eating habits haven’t been the greatest, but what I have noticed is that when I work so much, I tend to not cook as much as I should. I am also still not used to cooking for just me. I find that I enjoy cooking for me and someone else. Maybe it has to do with portions or maybe it has to do with the fact that I rather not be alone when I cook a meal. However, as the school year continues (because today was the first day of classes) I should be able to have enough time for me.

I am enjoying this free-write because I am just going with whatever comes to mind which is pretty funny because of the name of this blog. I have also thought about changing my description on the top left. I am no longer struggling with a divorce that is long gone. I am sure that I have moved on to the next level of my life and I am better person for it. I think my life gotten better and more enjoyable, I just need to get past the small things that hold me back everyday.

October marks my 10 years here in Syracuse. I was hoping to be somewhere else by now, but fate and the universe deems that I am here for a purpose that perhaps I have yet to fill. This also means that 9/11 is turning 10 years old too. If you have been keeping up with me over the years then you will know that 9/11 was a major reason I left New York City. While I may have taken this job at SU anyway, 9/11 sealed the deal for me. I still think about that day and I long to return to the city that never sleeps. I just need to be patient and wait for me opportunity.

I am also thinking about Latino Heritage Month that is coming up very quickly. I know that I did the 30 day blog challenge last year and I am wondering if I am going to do that again. I am not sure that is a good idea to do the same things over and over. However, I see the value of highlighting different things. I will have to really think about this before I commit to something. These types of challenges do take a lot out of me because I do not want to write crappy blogs.

Which brings me to my other struggles. I am tired of being broke. I need money to make money and trying to get this book of the ground will require money that I do not have at the moment. So there will be many things that I need to think of in order to get this done. In the meantime, I highlighted and wrote up a basis for another project I want to do in regards to @beingafrolatino. It turns out that I am always full of ideas but I just need to execute them.

This was an awesome free-write.

my life, sheep, society

Sheep: The slow death of Critical Thought

What I am about to write in this blog I started jotting down in mid June. I had trouble putting into words how I really felt about this subject and yet, I seemed to have summed up in my Facebook status yesterday. When I look at the current status of the world, I do realize that many people just don’t get what is happening around them. I am not talking about worldwide conspiracies because that would be too easy to write about and yet so hard to prove but in any case it would make me sound like a lunatic. The only thing I want to point out is the economic gap isn’t the only thing that is increasing between the rich and the poor, so it is the intellectual gap.

So, I have been feeling a certain way about the world lately. Maybe it is age or perhaps is wisdom from that age. I have always had a cynical view of how the world operates and thus, I have always been cynical. I have grown to be sarcastic and question everything around me and even myself. I play the devil’s advocate at work and in my personal life. I point out the inequities in society on this very blog and yet I feel a sense that so many people do this blogging thing, or this twitter thing, or this civic duty thing as if they are in a popularity contest. Almost as if quantity is better than quality. Anyone can write a thousand blogs about shit, but in the end, it is just shit.

It is no secret that I am very critical of certain Latino blog sites and certain Latina Magazines and how they portray us, not only as Latinos but all people of color. I feel that there comes a social responsibility with the power that they hold over their readers and when things get dumbed down, it becomes an insult to my intelligence. Yet, very few people seem to notice things are said or things that are left unsaid. I feel we are in an era in which critical thinking is dying a very slow and painful death. People seem to become sheep. Most people rather read about list of top 10 maids or all time or right way to stuff a taco instead of  actual reading of world events.

I get it though. Life is a bitch and then you die. We all need some sort of distraction from the real issues. African slaves needed a distraction too. The slave owners allowed them to sing and dance and even go to church, but reading was forbidden. Gee, I wonder why. Now, we have free people of color but the slave mentality is the same. Most people still don’t read, but we sure know that Kim Kardashian got married. We know when the Basketball Wives Marathon is on.

So yesterday, after I read something from one of the “publications” above I posted/tweeted this: Please understand, I am not like them. Me and them are not the same. When you think about them, then you are not thinking about me. So what did I mean by this? Someone close to me asked what was up with this cryptic message. My reply went something like this: Most applaud ineptitude and incompetence because they dont know better. Not all people, of course, but I see things that people say and write and it makes me shake my head. Sometimes I wonder, if it is just me. Am I being judgmental? Is this what being a leader is, when no one sees the same things…or is it being a pariah?

There are times that I wonder why I never joined a group or pledged a fraternity. Often times, I say that is not for me, but I could never really form the words to really express exactly why. I seem to be this person who can be so charismatic in person and online and yet fade away in a crowd when things feel so monotonous. I have come to accept that there things that just become so uniform to me that I get bored with things. I cannot force myself to do what everyone else does.

It is very clear that I march to my own beat. I think about how I was picked on in school for being different. I didn’t do the things that other kids did like either hang out after school or smoke weed. Even in college, I was never  that dude drinking with everyone else at the bars or at the South Campus parties. It wasnt that I felt that I was better than everyone else, it is just that I didn’t see the need to do what everyone else is doing.

Which translates to how I am now. I am no better than any one else. I am sure that I could have been a great member of any fraternity. I am sure that I could have hung out with all those people, in fact, I go out now and socialize because I recognize who I am and how I fit in this world. But, I have always had a problem with the majority view of the world. People are sheep. They seem to be plugged into this Matrix in which everyone believes everything they read or don’t read. The ability to come up with a critical opinion seems lost on some. It is like when Jay-Z can come out with a song called “Death of Autotune” and everyone loses their minds talking about how he is this pioneer. Then, the very first song on his new album “Watch The Throne” has autotune. No one says…a word. Sheep.

Latina Magazine, racism

Really Latina Magazine, Really???

Here is something I don’t understand. Latina Magazine can post 10 Latinas Who Have Played ‘The Help’ and we the people are ok with this? Sure, there was this wonderful blog that blasted Latina Magazine but I though that this would get more attention. I thought that perhaps people would understand how horrible it is for a magazine to perpetuate a negative stereotype.

First, lets talk about The Help which is a movie that came out this past weekend based off the book by Kathryn Stockett. I have not seen this movie and I really do not plan to as of yet. I say yet because I do feel in order to completely trash something you have to either see it or read it. But what I do know that Stockett was sued by Ablene Cooper who claims that the likeness of one of the maids in her book “Aibileen” was based off of her. Cooper was a maid that worked for Stockett’s brother’s family and I think it is a safe bet that she has a case. However, a Mississippi judge throw out the case based on the fact that Stockett send Cooper the book in 2009 and she didn’t read it! She read it much later and the judge ruled that it was beyond the statuette of limitations (which I think is crap). So basically Cooper perpetuated her own stereotype that if you hide money in a book…a negro will not find it.

This movie is getting rave reviews from just about every critic. I am willing to bet that this movie will win an award or two, which will have me vexed. It is no secret that people of color in hollywood (in this case African American women) are more or less forced to play roles in movies that live up to the slave image. The Help is a prime example of that because it is basically like Aunt Jemimas on the silver screen. But, despite this, this movie gets praises from everyone! We love a good story when the white hero saves the negro folks from whatever.

What infuriates me is the whole notion that Latina Magazine (a magazine that is supposed to be for all Latinos *pause*) can make a top 10 list of Latina maids. Really? Can we make a list of top 10 tomato pickers? Or a list of our favorite Cholos and Cholas? Hold up, I got it…how about we make a list of favorite wetbacks! Yes! We can start with Elian Gonzalez and end with every Cuban pitcher that the New York Yankees “saved”. To me this list of Latinas who played maids is the same exact shit! Are you telling me that Latina Magazine thinks that little girls who are growing up wanting to be an actress should aspire to be on the list? Really?

What about the 157 idiots on Facebook who actually liked this article? No one finds anything wrong with this crap? Hell no. They do not. You want to know why? Because they are very much like Ablene Cooper who doesnt read a thing until it is too late. Latina Magazine should be ashamed that they sold out like that. I cannot say that I am all that surprised considering it took them forever to have Afro Latinas in that publication.

Wait. How about this? How about we make a movie of a bunch of people who want to steal 20 million dollars from this rich white dude who is under house arrest in a building he owns. We can have these people (who are mostly white) get lessons from a Latino and an African American on how to be criminals. I know what you are thinking…they would never make a movie like that. Really? PEEP THIS:

Friendship, my life

Friendships or Just Ships?

I feel like I have no choice but to keep saying that I am not perfect, because really I am not. But, I find myself in interesting situations this summer. I have always considered myself somewhat lucky with the relationships I keep with the people I know. I feel that I knew a number of people that I can call friends in one way or another. I do not mean it in the Facebook way, in which everyone befriends us. I mean it it more a bonding type of way.

I am a true believer that everyone is put in our lives for a reason, whether it be for a short time or for a very long time, people play pivotal parts in our lives. We also play roles, sometimes in ways we do not comprehend, in the lives of others. Its the way the universe works. I have been fortunate enough to bond enough with some people that I would consider friends in a very real way. I consider myself a selfless friend who will do just about anything for his friends. I love to talk, laugh, and socialize, so I am always entertaining at the least.

However, there was a time this summer in which I took a break. Sometimes I do that from time to time in which I take time for myself. This wasn’t just a break from friends and such, it was also a break from this blog. I needed to think about my life and about my employment situation. I will say that during that time I did have two interviews for a University in Manhattan and it looked promising at the time. While, I did not get it, I learned a lot about myself and my resolve. Other things changed for me as well that I am not going to get into at this moment, but point being, I was not particularly looking for anyone and some people took exception to that. I did my sincere apologizing to an old friend, but apparently that did not work and I cannot beg someone to be my friend, so be it.

Then there is another person that I hit it off with a few months back. I began to think there was a good friendship emerging but as my life continues to change, things turned sour. When a friend crosses a line more than once then you have to evaluate whether or not there is a friendship there. Many do not seem to realize that for how nice I can be, I can cut a person off if I need to. Lately, it has becoming easier and I am almost sad by this fact. So that is another friendship that has seem to perish in a short life.

The final scenario is a situation of an old friend that I cannot seem to get along with for long periods of time. Not really sure how this happens. We get along great. When this person needs to vent I am there. When I need encouragement on writing…this person is there for me. It is a back and forth type of deal where there are certain hot button topics that will send us over the edge. The funny thing is, we will probably still be friends from years to come no matter what.

So what is my point? Well, do I have friendships or ships that pass in the night? I am not that difficult of a person. I love my friends dearly. Some I talk to everyday and some I talk to every few months. My college friends are people that I adore. No matter how much time passes without communication, it always like no time passed at all when I finally do see or speak to them. But, it saddens me that it seems I lost a very good friend. There is nothing much I can do about that fact. I feel that all relationships are a two way street and while I make mistakes, I do not feel I need to pay for those mistakes all the time. More importantly, friends also forgive each other. If I can forgive my friends for the dumb things they do then why am I the one that seems not to be forgiven? We are either friends or not.

I am a loyal friend. I have always been, at times you cannot get rid of me. I am the type to text someone after weeks of not hearing from them. I care about the people who come into my life, even if it just for a short amount of time. I would like to think that most people are like ships in the night that pass each other, but with friends…those are ones that should want to sail with you through good times and bad.

poetry

Being (Afro) Latino – the poem

When we talk about being Latino
and what that means to me
I speak with certainty
and a bit of specificity
when I talk about Afro centricity
in saying you are black
and you just look at me

like it was blasphemy
because this has to be
an act of stupidity
to ignore the ethnicity
of your origins
but fortunately
there is no death
to orginality

Skipping the formality
read the history
African blood in the DNA
that is a reality
maybe you’re just mad to see
the facts as it is meant to be
Latinos as a Nationality
is just as black as can be

With the rhythmic personality
of the congas and beats
the food and the tastes romantically
link a slave with taino in history
a shared ancestry
through misery
that you refuse to see
so there is no mystery
you bleach your hair and skin
with a sense of fragility

Where is your responsibility?
to maintain that sensibility
to not make us a joke, racially
We are Latinos, of any color
we have credibility
we have grown in number, drastically
so our color is heavenly
and our culture is immortality

job search, my life

Questioning Myself

There is one thing in my life that is for sure, I am not perfect. There is nothing that I can do that will ever be perfect, but I think that I can come close if I really tried. I feel that I am that type of person that takes pride in the things that I do. I love to write and I stand by every letter on this blog. My poems have only gotten better the more I write them. The stories that I write is something that I take great pride and I will always fight myself to make them better. More importantly, I take pride in my job and the work that I do.

Again, I realize that I am not perfect. I make mistakes on the job just like everyone does. Sometimes I get caught up on a project so much that I fail to come up for air thus something slips by me. I try to improve then I move forward. One thing that I make sure of is that I am good at what I do. I have become a problem solver of sorts and during my 10 year run at my current position, I have been through things that I cannot even write about. I have seen things that to this day I still shake my head at and I have had some of the beast times of my life. I love this place and the students.
With that being said, I rarely question myself or my abilities. My resume speaks for itself. The recommendations on Linkedin are there for all to see. The problem I having is getting a new position. I begin to wonder what it is I am doing wrong. Are my skills and abilities not being brought to the forefront for employers during the application process or the interview? I am a very personable individual, I can carry a conversation and if you and I are speaking about something we can both relate to then that’s even better. But, I end up looking at emails telling me that although my skills are ideal, I’m personally not the ideal candidate for said position.

The whole job searching process seems like a social experiment in puzzle pieces. Everyone is looking for a perfect fit to any group dynamic in order to make their company or workplace better. The problem is that you are not the piece that they believe will fit, no one tells you why. I would like to think that it is common courtesy that if I were to go as far as two interviews that I should at least be given the opportunity to have that explanation as to what I could have done better. Otherwise, I could end up really questioning myself.

It becomes a point of asking myself if I spoke too much. Perhaps I made a comment that was not favorable. I know it wasn’t my style of dress, I have 2 new suits that I rocked very well. I did ask enough question because I came with written questions. Was I not witty enough? Was I too witty? Then I start thinking the outlandish, even though it is still very possible. What if I was too Black? What if I was too Latino? People always think that being a diversity candidate is an advantage but in actuality, as long as an employer can prove that they interviewed a person of color, it may not matter in the end.

However, it turns out that the exact opposite has been happening to me. While all those questions have entered my mind, I do not question myself because when it comes down to it, we all know if we have done good on a test or an interview. Sure, some times we may get too cocky and think we did well and actually flopped. But in my last interviews, I was not cocky nor was I overconfident. I researched and put in the work days and weeks prior the interviews so I can understand what I may be getting myself into. This way, there is no real way I can blame myself for not getting any position. Perhaps there are certain things I need to tweek, but practice makes perfect.

I have often equated job searching to dating because in my both cases we are trying to establish a personal relationship with a person or a company. Work is a very personal thing and we spend so much time at work that it is important to love what you do. It is even more important to make that right connection and being that I have been on both sides of the interview table, I can understand the need to make a perfect fit.

So then it just comes down to faith. How much faith do I have in myself to continue down this path with the failure and the standard emails telling me I am not a good enough? I can come up with millions of quotes about failure and success. I can read books about fate and how things are meant to be, but in reality it all comes down to me and my power to endure. 

love, men, women

Boys Need to Know How to Talk/Treat/Love… a Woman.

I decided today that I need to do a workshop. This workshop will be about how young men talk to ladies. While this is not exclusively a problem with “boys” (because we all know that there are men of any age that feel they can say anything to a woman and think it is ok), I will limited this workshop to just young men preferably in college. Let’s face it, that is what I am used to dealing with.

I do not pull punches with the young men I deal with. I have called many out on their shit. I have called a few hoes, I have told some to straighten out and leave the girls alone. I have hurt feelings and was even accused of telling one student that he wouldn’t graduate (which is not what I said). The problem is that too many people coddle young men and assume because they are in college that they know what they are doing when they don’t.

Furthermore, I need to say that I am not a perfect man. I have made mistakes with women in the past and I will probably continue to do so in the future. So if you are the type to think that I am a hypocrite for giving advice on how to talk to or treat a woman even though I am divorced, can simply stop reading. Life is all based on trial and error and those with glass houses can just kiss my ass.

Now where was I? Yes…what I have noticed is that many young men I have run into feel that they are God’s gift. This is something that makes me laugh because at 18-21 you are barely mature enough to understand a woman of the same age. Not to mention that society has changed over the decades and we are generally dealing with kids from single parent homes, so the father figure is not always there to set boys straight. This is not to say that assholes are only bred from a lack of a father, but it does not help. Peer pressure and a group mentality doesn’t help either in the mind set of a young man.

There was a point in my life in which I did not know how to talk to girls and it bothered me. Sure, I looked like a nerd and was skinny with big ass glasses but, I always felt I had more to offer than the other idiots in High School. When I was living with my mother, I could never feel comfortable enough to ask how to a approach a woman, I was just never that close to my mom. However, when I chose to move in with my father it was because I wanted to know how to be a man. He was the one that told me everything I need to know…and he still puts me in my place when I do something dumb.

As I continue, I will generally use boys and young men in the same way. I call them boys because we are not living in my father’s generation where kids of their age had full time jobs or went into the service. I am also talking about young men of color. Latinos and African Americans can have similar ways of dealing and treating a woman. I guess listening to what is now being deemed as hip hop and watching reality television have given boys the impression that women are objects. This is not to say that hoodrats (hoes, for the ebonic impaired) do not exist but that does not give any boy a reason to treat a woman any less than what she is.

I will say that I cannot fit all this information in one blog entry but I can try to be as concise as possible. So there are a few things that boys should realize when dealing with women:

1. Listen to a woman. Listen to everything she says. Don’t sit there and pretend to be interested in what she has to say. If she is taking the time to talk to your silly ass then that is because she is generally interested in you. Make sure that you pay attention to her. It is better that you just shut up and not say anything dumb. Why? More men have lost the chance to have sex because they said something profoundly dumb. A woman knows whether she wants to have sex with you within the first two minutes of meeting you.

2. Never…and I mean NEVER compare her ass or any of her body parts to anything. It is not a plum or a prune. It is not a delicacy and you do not want to taste the sweet nectar of whatever because let’s face it, you are young and the only thing you really want to eat is a burger. Save the words for poets and if you are one then make better comparisions. Most guys who say shit like this only show their lack of intelligent ways of complimenting a woman and her attributes. If she is beautiful then say it.

3. She is not your possession. I love when guys believe that the goods really are his. A woman’s body is a temple. Her mind is her own and if she doesn’t not want you then why force her to tell you 3-4 times over text? If you fucked up and did something wrong, then you need to get over that.

4. Restraint. Restraint. Restraint! There is no reason to rush an interaction with any girl. If she is fast and you are into fast women then that is what you should stick to, but do not think all women are the same. For the most past, women at age of 18-23 are smarter then boys. They have already heard about you and what you have done and what you are capable of. The less restraint you have the more likely that you will be labeled as a man whore or perhaps some angry girl will just put you and your lack of manhood on blast all over Facebook.

5. Never tell a woman anything over text that you are not willing to say to her face. This is a general rule for anyone but since this “guide’ is meant for boys, this is a warning. Don’t try to be something you are not over a social medium because you will only be revealed as the idiot you probably are.  Be nice, be sweet…yes, I have said in that past that women are crazy, but we actually love that crazy (you are just too young to handle it).

6. This is my final point. Trust is the only thing a woman has to measure you by. Violate that and your life will never be the same with her. Trust me on that. This is the golden rule.

I will maintain those six points for now. I am hard on young men of color because I believe they can be better than what they are. Of course, not all boys are idiots but, most are. I have to admit that women are complicated and just think differently. To boys, that is hard to deal with, which is why being the asshole is so much easier. But here is the thing…karma is a bitch.