love – Page 3 – Anthony Otero

Assumptions

The last time I wrote a blog (sorry for the delay but the students came back last week), I talked about how a friend of mine said I overthink. Well, it turns out that my number 2 problem is that I make assumptions. It makes me smile because he is absolutely correct. I do make way too many assumptions about all the things that I overthink about. Of course, my dad would say to me, “You know what happens when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME.”

I think that my assumptions are a bi-product of me overthinking. When I overthink, I tend to imagine the worst possible outcome. The reason for this is because I just don’t think that life is all peaches and cream. I do not believe that everything has a happy ending because the world does not work that way. I have learned that not everyone has the best intention and not everyone can be trusted, so why should I assume that any situation I am in would come out good?

Now, with that being said. I do believe that in the end, everything will work itself out and not in the fate type of way. I do not believe in fate because things don’t just happen, especially in relationships. Everyone has a choice in what happens to them. It is because of that, that I assume the worst because (again) not everyone has good intentions.

Then there is the fact that I can be so emotional that I think things are essentially about me when they really aren’t. Assumptions can be particularly bad when it comes to this age of social media. It is very easy to think that a status message on Facebook, AIM, or Myspace can be about us. We project this because quite possibly we hope that we are being thought about even if it is not in a nice way. Not to mention the numerous amount of “tweets” that go around these days. It is very easy to get caught up in the hype.

The best assumptions are the ones that are completely baseless. I think about my family on this one. I will tell you all right now that my family is jacked up…on both sides. You have people not talking to each other because this person said that. There is animosity on so many levels that I am willing to bet all of it is based on assumptions. Miscommunication and overthinking breeds assumptions. We all assume that when a loved one doesn’t call it is because they are not thinking about us, not realizing that this may be the furthest from the truth. In fact, I have had many discussions with family members about why I don’t call them…meanwhile the phone works both ways.

Someone asked me why do I always assume the worst. The answer is very simple. When the worst happens, I am prepared for it. So, if the best case scenario were to occur it is a welcome surprise. Probably not the best way to think about things, but I make sure that I do not fool myself when the shit hits the fan. This type of thinking does me very well at work (of course). I am never caught off guard when it comes to a situation because I am generally prepared to handle many bad situations. Why not apply the same principle when it comes to love and life?

I know that I am talking mostly about bad assumptions and worst case scenarios, but do I really think about the best possible outcome in a given situation? Yes, I do. It tends to be a quick thought of what could be, but I never prepare for anything good to happen because I tend to roll with the good times. Besides, assuming the best of times can be just as bad as assuming the worst times. Alas, my issue.

So now what? Well, I was sitting in my bed the other night, just looking at the ceiling. The TV was on and at that time it seems to just look at me. During that moment, when it was just me and my thoughts (and my dog), I made a promise to myself that one day I will be happy again. With that said, I reflect back to my overhthinking and my assumptions and I ponder the advice of that good friend: “You just have to roll with things and go with the flow”

Hung, love, vindictive

How Much for a Broken Heart?

Last night I am doing laundry and I decided to turn the TV to HBO so I can watch my new favorite show, Hung. If you haven’t seen this show, the premise is that main character, Ray is a man whore. He is pimped out by this lady and they have clientele. It is actually a pretty good show that has a lot of moments that make you go…OMG. If you do watch the show and did not see last night’s episode, you might want to see it first before reading this.

Anyway, during his travels, Ray, falls for this woman named Jemma and he thinks she might be the one for him. Of course, every time he sees her, she pays him after the night is over. So, just when he takes her out for real, Ray tells Jemma that she does not have to pay anymore because this is real. So they go out and at the end of the night, he is thinking about how different the sex was and he might be falling in love again. He wakes up in the morning to find a wad of money on the pillow.

Which brings us to last nights episode. Jemma calls him and breaks it off. He finds this hard to believe and finds a way to show her that he is serious. He writes this letter and brings it to her. Ray tells her to read the letter because it is from his heart. She goes…”Fuck your heart”. I think my jaw dropped just as much as his. I kinda felt his pain. He was just standing there asking how did she just change overnight.

Ray is devastated and gets drunk. His pimp, Tanya, visits him and tells him that Jemma did this on purpose. She wanted to break some one’s heart in the same way her’s had been broken. Not only did she want to break his heart she wanted to do it with no explanation and to top it off, do it to a man that was as caring as she was. She told Tonya that Ray made her happy too. In end…she paid Tanya 2 thousand dollars. Again, I am shocked. I automatically asked, How much is a broken heart worth?

Clearly this just a show, but this makes me think about all the things that have happened to me and the people around me. As I stated, everyone is going through something. When it comes down to it, we know when we break some one’s heart. We all know how shitty it is. But as I said before, being vindictive is not the answer. I wrote a blog weeks ago about The Scourge, which is a man scorn. I never though about a woman scorn in the same aspect as man scorn.

See, when I think about a woman scorn I think about Waiting to Exhale. When Bernadine burns her husband’s car with the clothes inside is the perfect image of a woman scorn. I would not have thought about a woman who could use another man and then shatter his heart. I would just normally assume that most women understand love, but as I have come to realize…I take too many things at face value. I forget that women can be ruthless and I need to be very careful who I trust.

Which brings me back to my question about the value of a broken heart. I am not so sure I would have taken that money (then again, I wouldn’t be a man whore). The money seemed so dirty at that point. It made me realize about how people tend to think money can solve everything. I have seen women become so vindictive, in terms of a divorce, in which taking money from the man becomes much more important than mending the broken heart they have. In which case, does half a man’s possessions become that value of that broken heart?

I very much believe that revenge and vindictiveness will very much make a person’s heart turn to ice. It can take the person with the biggest heart and shrink it. So what is the value of a broken heart? I think that the value can never be determined. But I will say that breaking some one’s heart may cost you your own heart.

love

The Perfect Heart

I am continuing my theme that everyone seems to be going through something this summer. This is a rough summer for many people I know when it comes to love and there also seems to be a lot of death as well. Those of us who work with students know that we strive to maintain a certain sense of positivity. This morning I attended a breakfast for the Division of Student Affairs. In the effort to motivate us, our VP of Student Affairs told us this story to motivate us before the school year begins:

One day a young woman was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that she had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired her heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. She even kept it in a glass case to protect it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young woman was very proud and boasted more loudly about her beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old woman appeared at the front of the crowd and said “Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young woman looked at the old woman’s heart. It was wrapped in burlap and she unwrapped it for all to see. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared – how can she say her heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young woman looked at the old woman’s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking,” she said. “Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old woman, “Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love – I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges — giving love is taking a chance.

Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”

The young woman stood silently with tears running down her cheeks. She took her heart out of the glass case and walked up to the old woman. She reached into her perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out and offered it to the old woman with trembling hands. The old woman took her offering, placed it in her heart and then took a piece from her old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young woman’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young woman looked at her heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old woman’s heart flowed into hers. They embraced and walked away side by side.

How sad it must be to go through life with a whole untouched heart.

While he talked about about how we try to guard our hearts we must realize that the best way to live life is with our hearts open. These students deserve that much from us.

I was stunned after hearing this story. I have mentioned before that love is the perfect emotion but it never appears perfect when we feel it. Some of us keep a barrier around our hearts so that we can never get hurt. We should never see that loving someone is a bad thing, no matter much much it hurts to tear a piece of it out and give it to someone. Our scarred hearts should be a reminder that we have the ability to love and continue to love.

So when someone says that it is better to never love than to be loved, show them this story. I wear my scars proud because my heart, no matter many mistakes I have made, is a good one. My heart is beautiful and many times as I want to encase my heart in glass I know that I have the unique ability to tear out a piece and give it to someone.

You too have this ability, in case of emergency, break the glass and love.

divorce, love, mother, my dad, solitude, vindictive

The Precipice of Solitude

I have been thinking about ways to write this blog all weekend. I found a need to say so many things and I am not sure how they will come out but I am just going to let it all come out today. What really has me going is something that I have said for a few weeks now, everyone I know seems to be going through something. I realize that we all deal with adversity in our own ways. But, for the most part, it is hard to deal with pain and broken dreams.

I have dealt with my own issues the best way I can, which is looking inwardly for all the answers in my life. There has been a time where I have actually prayed for guidance and strength because sometimes my thoughts betray me. I am not going to say that how I am going through things is the way everyone should, but one thing I will say is that no one should let their pain rule them. I seen too many instances where people have let their pain beat them. I am one of those people who refuse to let that happen to me…but I admit, it is a struggle.

Pain can make our thoughts go sour…and depending on the person, they want nothing more than to share their misery with the person who created that pain. I completely understand this reaction but it isn’t the right one. I have witnessed instances where someone can become very vindictive because of another person’s deceit. The problem is that you cannot battle deceit with vindictiveness because no one wins. Karma dictates that what comes around goes around. We can never force this. If anyone of us were to be vindictive to another person we may find ourselves at the end of karma.

Which brings me to my example. Many people want to know why my mother and I have not had the best relationship. As I once again stand at the precipice of solitude, I look at my past in order to see where my future may lead. One of the things that I did not want was for my marriage to lead to divorce because I lived through the very painful and damaging divorce of my parents. My mother left my father when I was in grammar school and the divorce was not finalized until college. Here is where I realized being vindictive does not work.

My mother was not happy with my father and wanted to make sure he paid for their failed 14 year marriage. When she moved out she took me with her. The nomadic period of my life began here, where we moved 3 times in 5 years. When I was 16 I had to make a difficult choice of which parent to live with. I chose my dad, not because I didn’t love my mother, but because I wanted to become a man. My social awkwardness up to that point in my life was not working for me. I didn’t know how to speak to a girl much less have the chance to hang out and meet one.

Clearly this upset her and a messy divorce ensued. As a result of my decision to choose my father, my mom disowned me. She took me out for dinner one night at Willie’s Steakhouse and told me that I am no longer her son. Thus my first break up from a woman, the one that seems to haunt all of my relationships. This is where I link my issues abandonment. This is where I feel that every woman I fall in love with will eventually leave me because if my mother can do it, what is going to stop anyone else? Trust me, it has happened 4 times so far…

Her vindictiveness also lead her down the path of making my father pay. As you know, women are entitled to half of a man’s assets, so she wanted half the house, which forced my father to take a loan for 90k. When the time came, he asked her to pay half tuition. She said no..and he took her to court and made her pay half of all my tuition. At one point we talked and she cried to me saying that my father was being unfair and taking all her money…but I was reminded of the Lexus that she drives (and still does…it is a pretty hot car too).

My relationship with my mother has been very shaky for years. We have made attempts to repair this relationship on many occasions. Every time I experience a break up, I am forced to think about her. I wonder if I had a healthy relationship with her if I would be where I am now. Maybe there is a part of me that inherently does not trust a woman for some reason because I know I will give them a reason to leave.

My point is being vindictive solves nothing. You end up hurting yourself more. The best way to “get back” someone is to be the best person you can be. I know that sounds kind of spiritual but it is what it is. For anyone who is done wrong, eventually things will look brighter. Turning the other cheek against those who have wrong you will be the best thing you can do. It will be easier to move on and live your life.

dog, love, poetry

Me & My Dog

I am foregoing “Tid Bit Tuesday” this week because I woke up with a poem in my head that I needed to write. I do not just come up with poetry everyday so the times I feel inspired I just need to write it down. So this is what I got:

Me & My Dog

My Dog would never…
Say “I don’t want you”
or tell me we can never be together

My Dog would never…
would never nag me or
complain that I work too much

My Dog would never…
ignore me and pretend I do not exist
nor would I have to question if I am being missed

My Dog is sad when I leave and happy when I return
I never have to wonder where I stand in the heart
of an animal that just knows what love is

My Dog would never…
be confused or require space
or be hung up on mistakes

My Dog has a very short memory and will not linger in the past
instead will live for the moment, for as long as it can last

My Dog’s love is unconditional and I would never have to worry
about maintaining a friendship
or proving my love

I don’t have to fight for My Dog’s heart, I already have it
when I am lonely I can look over and see
that all My Dog really wants is just me

My Dog appreciates…
my touch, my voice, my playfulness, and my humor
as well as my desire to be needed

I would never have to get defensive because
My Dog would not point out things that I constantly do wrong

My Dog understands…
that I am a man that is not perfect
that my indecisiveness is based on need to make a better choice

My Dog understands…
that at the end of the day all I want is hug
and to feel that I am important

Right now, the only thing
I need is the only thing
that loves me

So for now…it is just Me and My Dog

divorce, Facebook, family, love, my wife

Feeling Good

Last week and this past weekend has been very interesting for so many reasons. The fact that I have been feeling really good has proven to make my life so much easier. I will admit that I am not entirely sure why I am feeling so good. I am thinking that perhaps it is a delayed reaction to my trip from Florida. All the the sun must have done me good. Perhaps it is the running that I continue to do. From what I am hearing the endorphins from exercising is what makes us feel better.

Regardless, I feel that I am returning to my cheerful ways. I feel that I have always had somewhat of a positive outlook on life. However over the last several months I think my view on love and life have been darker. I have become this person that can give great advice but has difficulty following my own. I am not sure why that is, but in any case, I need to have a positive look on life.

I am very amused by the people around me. I am not saying I take my impending divorce lightly, but seeing people react or at least not trying to react makes me laugh. It seems that my situation has sparked conversation at my work place when I was on vacation and I am ok with this. This essentially means I don’t have to talk about it to people I rather not talk about it with. So if they want to me shocked by the news while I am not around then I am good with that. However, there have been a few people who have been very supportive and that goes a long way with me.

It all pretty much started when I put “single” on my Facebook. Before I went to Florida my father calls me and was very concerned that I may not be moving on since my wife has put single her status. I was more shocked about him calling me about this (I mean really? is it that deep?). I didn’t update my status because I just wasn’t paying that much attention to it, but to appease my father so he does not worry about me, I change it.

You would have the thought the “Bat” signal went up. I am getting texts and emails asking why am I single on Facebook. Some have not been so discreet by asking me on my page why am I single (but we wont go there). Most people thought it was a mistake! That perhaps Facebook in the many version it keeps updating to, changed my status. I just smile and tell them that it is no mistake. Once they pick up there jaws, I inform them that we are ok. Sometimes it is better to be friends then to be married. Of course I am amazed how Facebook has played a role in my social life. I even gave my parents a tutorial when I was down there.

I was asked to take down my picture from Facebook by my mother in law because I looked sad. This was a difficult conversation with her. She is very much a mother to me and she is having a hard time dealing with our break up. This did upset me but I told her that once again, we will be ok. Speaking of family, I was talking to my niece from my wife’s side of the family. She too noticed the news on Facebook and asked me if I am still her tio. This broke my heart. I love that little girl and she is the closest thing to a daughter that I can get. I told her I would always be her tio.

I am feeling good because there are so many possibilities in my life right now that it is hard to decide what to do. Couple that with the fact that I have been able to accept our decision to move forward.

forgiveness, Friendship, love, summer

Summer of Pain?

Maybe it is in the water or maybe it is all the rain we seem to be getting in the North East. I just seems that everyone is going through something. Of course, I don’t really mean everyone. But, most of the people I know are dealing with pain in someway. Particularly this summer. Most of which has to do with a break up or friendship, marriage, or any relationship in general. My question is, What is going on? Where is the summer love?

If no else has noticed it, then that is ok. It doesn’t mean that these things are still not happening. I have come to realize that people front all the time. They put up this barrier that is pretty convincing. So, the happy co-worker that you have come to know, may not be very happy at all. What sucks is that most people feel they need to put up a false image of what their life is. I should know because I was one of them. Personally, I put up that good front because I just didn’t want people in my business. I hate having to explain why I look a certain way. But, generally there are people who front because they care too much about what people think.

Regardless of all that, there seems to be many people in my life that are hurting for one reason or another and that is sad. I get the same responses all the time. “Men are dumb” or “Women are stupid”. I think it is time to face the facts people: We are all pretty much stupid. We all go through periods in our lives in which we make dumb ass choices.

I guess what I am trying to figure out is, why is all this happening in the summer? I thought summer time was a time to have fun and enjoy our lives? Just like that, as I am typing this, it hits me: Summer is the time of new beginnings. For some people, it the ending of school and the bargaining of a new job (if they are lucky). For others, it is just time to shake off the baggage and burdens that other people have. It sucks really, but in general…people suck.

To those people who are hurting: Just take things day by day. The pain will subside. Do not act like the pain is not there, it will only make it worse. Look for the little things in life that may make you smile. Connect with family (unless they are the ones pissing you off), usually family is the one thing that may ease the pain. The more importantly, forgive yourself for whatever part you feel you played in this. Once you can do that…then you can forgive the person who hurt you…and that might be the greatest release of it all.

Summer is not over yet. There is still enough time to enjoy life before winter gets here…

Afro Latino, Blogging, Latinos in America, love

Tid Bit Tuesday (Late Edition)

Thank You

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported this blog by reading and commenting, weather on this site or to me personally. Thank you for voting for this blog when you had the chance. I feel that I really have something here. My voice is being heard and my audience continues to rise. I am really enjoying writing as much as I do.

I wanted to point out the Blog Roll on your right. Every time I see an interesting blog I will add it there. I have quite a few and encourage all of you to read some of these blogs. There are truly amazing writers out there. I am also looking for guest bloggers…

Love Again???

It seems that I am always writing about this subject. I think that I have been able to show the many sides of love. I will continue to do so. Yesterday’s post was powerful, but what really made it interesting is that the friend I dedicated that blog to replied today. I am sure she will be ok. More importantly, I seem to run into people that have told me that my writing has helped them in some way. I really do hope so.

I am actually in the process of coming up with a list of movies that have no love in it! This should help some of my friends who are also getting a divorce. Hey we need entertainment too!

Latinos in America

CNN is going to air this documentary in October about my people. While I am excited that this will show Latinos for more than what the stereotypes make us seem to be, I am willing to bet a small fortune that there will be no Afro-Latinos anywhere in that documentary. It has been awhile since I have talked about this subject but I already know how this story goes.

Afro Latinos are very underrepresented in all forms of media across the world, with the exception of athletes. I am so hoping that CNN will do something to represent them. However, I know better. As a matter of fact, many of us no better. When I talk to Latinos about this special they tell me that Afro-Latinos will probably be in Latinos in America 2. How funny is that?

love

Unrequited Love

I am dedicating this blog to a friend, who last night, had her heart broken by a man that she loves. Her grief and anger are so very apparent and I feel bad because the words I have for her are not close to enough to soothe her. The fact that I understand provides very little comfort. The problem is that she loved a man that claims to not love her back. How does one recover from that? How do you tell someone to just move on when they are so very attached to the person they love.

Unrequited love is the worst kind of love. When you love someone and they do not return that love the feeling is often close to deep pains in the chest. Reactions to this situation can result in anger, depression, rage, and violence. But often times Unrequited love just results in deep sadness because no matter what, you will always love this person. The hardest part is that she may never know what his true feelings are. I cannot say what they are because I do not know. I can speculate, but what good will that do?

I want her to move on the best way she can. It is not good to hold on to anger. Sure, she is going to be sad, but that will pass in time. I believe she needs to accept that it is not meant to be with this dude. I find it hard to tell her this because she is angry! Sure, I can try to give her a glimmer of hope, but I am not sure that is the right thing to do.

What I want her to understand as well as myself is that life is full of opportunities. Each one of us is unique and special. We all have the potential to fall in love and have someone fall in love with us. The problem is that not everyone is ready to do so. We need to have faith that it will happen for us somewhere down the line. Some people are lucky to find their loves early in life. Others find it late in life. We all make mistakes and lose love…but that does not mean we should give up.

At one point she said that she would have rather never fall in love then ever feel this pain. I think that is a mistake. We all need to feel the good and bad sides of love to fully understand what it is we want. Once we know what it is to lose something then we will try no to lose it again if we are fortunate enough to get love again.

The best advice I have for her is that it is his loss. If he is willing to push aside someone who was willing to give him all the love in the world, then it is his loss.

blackest night, Green Lantern, indifference, love, Pride

The Opposite of Love

For awhile now, I have been thinking about a blog that I read months ago. It was a very interesting post about the opposite of love (still waiting for GP to write more). This is something that I have been thinking about. In that post, there is the thought that selfishness is the opposite of love. Then there is the thought that hate would be the opposite. Finally there is the suggestion that indifference might be the opposite side of love. I think I have explored this and have come up with a answer.

Let me go into my exploration. Love is the perfect emotion. I think that many of us can achieve it, but many of us tend to lose it. I have often thought that hate is the opposite of love. With hate comes negative feelings and emotions like rage that leads to violence. Whereas Love is more peaceful and calm. So it just makes sense that love and hate are on different sides of the same coin.

It was suggested that indifference is the opposite of love. Well, indifference is the lack of emotion. I think many people can pretend to be indifferent toward other people but that is just difficult to do. You can expend much energy to pretend not to care. However, true indifference is just a lack of enthusiasm and not caring. I am not sure this is the opposite of love. It is like saying that having no emotion at all is on the other side of the coin of love. I don’t know about that.

Selfishness is actually pretty close. The idea that you can do things that only benefit yourself is a very far cry from love. However, we can all be selfish and I think that in some cases it is a requirement. We can love so much and lose ourselves that being selfish at times is what keeps us grounded. Besides there is something else that is much worse than selfishness.

Let me digress here for a moment and have my geek side take over. There is a reason why I have been thinking about this (besides my current issues). As you all know, I collect comic books. One of them is Green Lantern. This is a book about a man who is a part of a intergalactic police force. More importantly, his green ring represents a color in the emotional color spectrum. There is a series called Blackest Night which is a war that is taking place within the books that has to do with the various colors of the color spectrum.

Bare with me here. Green represents Willpower and that means that you need to have a certain amount of willpower to use the ring. So lets see the colors: Yellow is Fear, Orange is Avarice (greed), Blue is Hope, Red is Rage, Violet is Love, Indigo is Compassion, and Black is Death. So what I find interesting is the different dynamics of all this. Each color has a ring and each ring has a symbol. What struck me the most about these symbols was love and compassion, which are close in colors. Violet, which is love, is a star with a circle in the middle, which represents the outward feeling of love. Compassion is similar, the indigo symbol is a circle in the middle with two triangles pointing outwardly (both up and down) which represents charity and concern for other people.

From what I can tell, Rage (red) is the opposite of compassion. However, the opposite of Love is Avarice. The symbol for Avarice is this orange circle with points and lines pointing inward, representing the power of greed. That made me think. I consider compassion and love, in the real world, to be the same thing. You cannot have one without the other. However, avarice is not the right fit for the opposite of love. Avaraice is more about greed and wanting material things. Which makes me think about selfishness but more directly made me think of pride.

Love is such a powerful emotion that make us think outwardly. If we have that feeling of love we would be willing to do anything for people we are close to. Once we are in love, then we think more about that other person than we would ourselves. We would put our own safety aside for loved ones. We would die for our children, parents, and spouses. That is because we feel that love and it is strong.

Pride is also powerful, but it will make us think inwardly. Sure, we would have the ability to love, but it would be mostly for ourselves. We would never admit we are wrong and would refuse the advice or help of others. Sure, we would help people, if it benefited us. Our arrogance would be very apparent. We would think our own worth is greater than others. Basically, we would think we are all that and we are above any subjection. Which is why pride is sin in just about every major religion: Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Taoism. Clearly my examples of having pride is extreme but I think I made my point.

The quote that I have always heard was “Pride goes before a fall” which is a paraphrase of a passage from the book of Proverbs, in the Old Testament. I have dealt with prideful people in my lifetime and it is not something that I would not wish on anyone. Family members tend to be the worst at this. I am not sure what color of the emotional spectrum Pride would be, but I would guess it would be somewhere between Avarice (orange) and Fear (yellow).